


The Blessed Unrest

by LadyReylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, DYAD, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Dark Side Rey, Empress Kira Palpatine, Empress Rey, F/M, Force Bond, Force Dyad, Good Boy Ben Solo, Jedi Ben, Jedi Ben Solo, Kidnapping, Little bit sexy in places, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other additional characters to be added, Rating will change, Slow Burn, alternative universe, even though i hate it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:22:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 51,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23098513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyReylo/pseuds/LadyReylo
Summary: Empress Kira just wanted to get off Exegol for a few days, she didn't expect her first solo mission to go so wrong when she flirts with a handsome smuggler in a bar who turns out to be more than he first appears to be...-Dark!Rey AU Space Adventure
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 347
Kudos: 395
Collections: Reylo Prompt Fills (@reylo_prompts)





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> So... This is my new story... 
> 
> I will still be posting weekly updates on [Almost Perfect](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22424152/chapters/53577040), but I thought I'd start sharing this as I was too excited to wait any longer! I hope you like it :-)
> 
> Please don't forget to comment and kudos. I love reading what you make of each chapter :-) 
> 
> Find me on twitter @[LadyReyio](https://twitter.com/LadyReyIo)

  


Exegol was cold.

Exegol was always cold, but that evening in particular was bitingly so.

She wrapped her cloak tighter around herself as she walked along the hard stone corridor that led to her rooms. She remembered the first time she was brought here, the pleasure she had taken in going underground, never having to worry about burnt skin or coarse sand ever again. Kira never thought she would miss the scorching heat of Jakku, but it had been months since she last seen the sun and it was making her go crazy.

Perhaps that is why she was so eager to take this mission off world.

She thought back on the meeting she had just had with her grandfather, her hands still shaking.

“My young apprentice, your anger gives you strength, but you lack the focus required for this.” He was being kind, she knew he was, but to be told this in front of the Knights made her eyes sting.

She always felt small standing in the throne room. She knew the room’s purpose was intimidation, but standing in front of him, with so many eyes drilling into the back of her head, she straightened herself in defiance of the scrutiny.

“I am focused, grandfather. You have taught me well.” She stepped forward, her hand tightening its grip around her saber. “Let me do this.” Kira said lowly, trying to keep the conversation from being overheard.

“You wish to prove yourself to me?” His hand reached out, a pale finger coming up to stroke her cheek. She nodded. “Take Ap’Lek.” His eyes flicked over her shoulder to the tallest Knight of Ren. And as of a few days ago, her fiancé.

Kira suppressed a shudder as she maintained a stoic stare straight ahead. Ap’Lek was a fierce warrior, skilled in combat and strategy, arguably her grandfather’s favourite. His height and mass did not slow him in battle, and wielding his executioner’s ax with deadly skill, he was an impressive man to watch fight.

“I do not think that is wise.” Kira tried not to feel the shift in the Force as the Knight’s mask angled toward the back of her head. “This requires stealth. It will be impossible to remain inconspicuous with any of the Knights.” She was pleased at how confident she sounded.

“Perhaps.” The Emperor mused. The corner of his lips tilting upwards. “Or perhaps this is the ideal occasion for you two to bond.”

Kira couldn’t stop the shudder this time. When she had been told of her engagement on her eighteenth birthday she was initially pleased at the chance to make her grandfather proud. The thrill was short-lived when he asked Ap’Lak to step forward, her blood running cold as her grandfather took both their hands and clasping them together. He had called it a reward for his loyalty and Kira had spent the rest of the night sick in her room, ashamed and angry. She was the next Empress, not some prize for her grandfather to gift out to whomever he saw best.

Despite having never seen his face, Kira knew Ap’Lak was Chiss, meaning she had a vague idea of his appearance. Dark hair, smooth blue skin, a faint glow to his red eyes… What she did know, however, was how smart he was, besting her in every fight. She was fast and stronger in the Force, but he uses misdirection to his advantage. Even with that knowledge, Kira consistently failed to stop his attacks, ending up on the cold hard ground more times than she could count. Ap’Lak always looking down at her, the tilt of his head making his disdain clear.

In any other circumstance, she would be honoured to have such a strong, capable, respected husband. Force knows most of the women on Exegol dream of marrying one of the Knights of Ren. But Kira had her own legacy to forge, and Ap’Lak was a constant reminder of how she wasn’t good enough.

“Let me do this.” She repeated insistently.

Slowly, the Emperor’s smile softened. “The Force is strong with you, young Kira.” His fingers skimmed along her cheek. “If you believe you are ready, I will allow it.” She had to fight back the urge to smile. This was her chance. “But just because you are my son’s daughter, don’t think you can change my mind on all matters.”

She saw it before she felt it, the glint in his eye as his hand flattened against her face and the pull of her life force starting to trickle from her before the flood banks broke. She had long learnt not to scream, her teeth biting her lips closed until she could taste blood and focussing on that instead of the searing pain coursing through her veins.

It was over as quickly as it began. She collapsed to the ground, not realising he had lifted her feet from it.

With renewed energy, the Emperor motioned for a Knight to come help her. Ushar was the closest, offering his arm for her to take. She ignored it, using her saberstaff to push herself up instead.

“Thank you, grandfather. I won’t let you down.”

Only now upon reaching her room, did she allow herself to fall onto the floor as soon as the door closed. She was drained. She called out to TC-44, who appeared a few moments later, fussing over her incapacitated state.

“I need you to pack my bag. Clothes for a week should be enough, rations for two.” She demanded, not paying attention to the service droids concerns. He was only programmed to care, she thought bitterly.

“Are you quite sure you are well enough to go on an excursion?” His clipped robotic accent questioned.

With a wave of her hand, a pair of boots flew across the room and hit the droid in the chest plate, shutting him up.

Kira closed her eyes, channelling the Force to help her recover faster. She would recover quicker when she was away from Exegol. This barren planet had only dark energy that was too difficult and dangerous for her to control in her weakened state. As soon as she was on a planet with nature and sunlight she would feel better, she told herself, rolling to her feet and grabbing a bag to stash weapons in.

“I leave in 20, TC.” She called out, hearing the panicked whirring of the droid as it worked faster.

She had never been to Takodana, but she hoped it was a lush as people said it was.

  


-

  


Kira sat in a cramped corner of the tavern in Maz’s castle. It wasn’t the most comfortable seating area available, but it gave her the best view of the entrance while maintaining her privacy, and in her black clothes, she almost faded into the shadows. Not that she should be too concerned; Maz’s reputation to allow any and all people in her establishment as long as they kept their politics at the door was obviously being obeyed as Kira watched a known smuggler drinking with a Mid Rim law enforcer.

Disgusting. It took a lot of effort for her not to sneer at the behaviour.

The Final Order would have a field day on this planet, rounding up the scum and eliminating them, ensuring compliance so places like this didn’t have to exist. Where fake peace was mandatory. Which would be a shame, Kira thought, Maz made an excellent Corellian Twister. She took another sip, finishing off the drink, her eyes darting over to the owner and the door that led to where her mission was. Maz’s Curio Box.

In the days she had been laying low on Takodana, Kira had learnt a lot about Maz and the little ‘treasures’ she likes to keep. From jewellery to power cores, light and dark in origin, her Grandfather had explained how a few of his own personal items had been stolen by the old woman and it was Kira’s job to get them back, along with anything else she found.

She slowly placed her empty glass down, trying to look casual, sensing someone approaching her.

“Can I help you?” She asked, looking up at the person who was now blocking her view of the door.

He was tall, and well built. His dark trousers hugged wide thighs, his off-white shirt was loose but the black waistcoat cut into his shape so she could just peak well defined muscles underneath the thin material. He looked like he knew how to fight. Kira instinctively reached for the blaster she kept on her hip under the table, only relaxing a fraction when she saw the drinks in his hand.

“You need to stop.” Her fingers tightened around the blaster, her eyebrows pinched together in confusion. “I came here for a quiet drink, but you keep distracting me.” His deep voice teased as he sat down opposite her, giving her a clear view of the door again. Her hand relaxed and her eyebrow shot up in confusion.

“Excuse me?”

“You. Sitting here. All by yourself.” She took a moment to look him over. He was handsome. Human, perhaps Pamarthen or Corellian based on his size and features, and the obvious swagger he had that could only come from being a pilot. His dark hair was thick and pushed back from his face, a contrastingly pale face. His features were all strong and together they made him hard to forget. Dark eyes, solid nose, high cheekbones, a soft but large jaw that homed a wide mouth. A mouth that was currently smirking at her.

“It’s very distracting.” His large hand pushed a new Corellian Twister across the table towards her.

“Maybe you should stop looking.” Her eyes narrowed at the drink and then him.

“Maybe you should start.” He lounged back in his chair, an arm thrown up along the back of it while the other gestured over his torso, inviting her to look at him. She tilted her head slightly, casting out the Force and getting nothing in return. He was no danger to her. Just a flirt.

“I think I’ll pass.” She took the drink regardless and took a long sip. He seemed pleased at that, his cocky smirk relaxing, revealing slightly crooked teeth and dimples as he chuckled to himself. _Maybe…_ Kira stopped her mind from wandering, now wasn’t the time or place.

“Can I at least sit here until you finish the drink I bought you?”

Opening her mouth to shoot him down, she realised where he sat gave her the perfect eyeline to the monitor the door she needed to without gaining suspicion. Perhaps he did have his uses. “You can stay.”

The corner of his eyes crinkled up with joy.

“So how does a woman like you end up in a place like this?” He asked after a moment, his feet lifting to rest on the empty chair next to her. She would have felt trapped if he was any danger to her, but the Force calmly pulsed around her, letting her know there was no imminent threat from him.

“I needed to get away from home for a few days.” It wasn’t a complete lie. In the past week, she had been paraded around the Citadel to celebrate her birthday and gotten engaged without her consent. If there was ever a better time to leave that dust ridden planet and recharge her energy then Kira couldn’t think of it. “I heard it was nice here.”

“How are you liking Takodana?” Her eyes were drawn to his glass as he raised it to his lips, letting it hover there as if he knew she was watching. Her eyes snapped up to meet his and she knew she’d been caught.

“It’s beautiful. I-” She stopped herself, feeling silly for what she was about to say before realising that this stranger wasn’t from Exegol. He didn’t know who she was. As far as he knew, she was a young woman, out in the galaxy for the first time. He didn’t have any reason to mock her. “I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy.” She finally admitted and she watched as his smirk softened slightly. It made him look younger, she suddenly wondered how old he was.

It wasn’t a lie. Takodana was stunning, trees growing taller than she ever thought possible, water in lakes stretching further than she could see, the air so clean and fresh that it instantly knocked all the Exegol dust out of her lungs the minute she stepped outside and breathed it in.

She wondered what life would be like there. Surrounded by life and light, she imagined it would be glorious. Although she had thought the same about Exegol when she was first taken there. After six years on Jakku, she naively thought anything would be better, and for a while it was. She didn’t have to scavenge for junk and barter for food anymore, her grandfather made sure she had everything she ever wanted, always making sure she was well fed, and had a choice of what to wear. But after a while, Kira had realised the sand in her clothes had just been replaced with dust. And while she now had a family, someone who cared about her, she couldn’t help but feel trapped under the surface of the rocky planet.

“Ben.” He introduced himself, knocking her out of her thoughts when he dropped his feet to the floor and leaned forward, holding out his hand to hers. “My name’s Ben.”

“Rey.” She felt scandalous for using her dead name, but she couldn’t risk him figuring out who she really was, not when she still hadn’t completed her mission. His hand was warm and strong in hers.

“It’s nice to meet you, Rey.” She saw a man at the bar roll his eyes at them, and it was clear that Ben was well known at Maz’s Tavern. She could use that to her advantage.

There was a spike in the Force as she picked up his feelings. He was attracted to her.

 _Maybe…_ Her mind drifted again. Maybe this mission was more than just her chance to prove to her grandfather she was strong enough. Maybe this was her last chance to make one choice of her own before she went back to Exegol and married Ap’Lak.

Kira had had a consort before, a young guard by the name of Mahen. He had been sweet, and only a year older than her. They had become friends years after she had settled into her new home on Exegol and after a few months, after a particularly horrible week when her grandfather had made her cry more times than she had ever done in her life, she had invited Mahen to her room. It had been nice, enjoyable even, but what happened the next day… Kira would never forgive herself.

But here, on Takodana, nobody knew her, and her grandfather would never find out.

She let go of his hand, wrapping it around the cold glass and taking another long sip, the cold liquid making her back teeth sting slightly. “You want to have sex with me.”

Ben let out a soft laugh, his hand racking through his hair. “Am I that obvious?”

“Yes.” Kira picked out a piece of fruit from her cocktail and popped it in her mouth, rolling it over her tongue briefly, enjoying the tart flavour, before swallowing. He was watching her the whole time, entranced by her simple actions. “What?” A blush crept up her cheeks, much to her annoyance.

“You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?”

“And you know exactly how handsome you are, don’t you Ben?” She countered.

“Is that why you want to have sex with me?” Ben asked, that smirk back on his face.

The heat in her face spread and Kira was tempted to roll her eyes. “What if I told you when I am to return home, I am to be married to a man I do not love and have never even seen the face of?”

To his credit, he didn’t let himself look too stunned at the revelation, taking his time to mull over what she had said as he took a large gulp of his drink, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. “I’d say,” Ben started slowly, carefully choosing his words as his hand rubbed over his jaw. “That you need something to remember on your wedding night.”

“And that something should be you?” She was encouraging him, her eyebrow quirked up in challenge. She pushed out with the Force again, skimming the edges of his mind for his sexual experience. There was an initial barrier, making her narrow her eyes and push a little harder, only to gain access to his thoughts so easily it was as if she had imagined the struggled before.

She could see his hands on a woman’s body, her elaborately decorated eyes heated as she begged for more. His lips trailing kisses up a different woman’s leg until he reached the apex of her thighs. Another woman’s head thrown back in pleasure, his hair brushing along her neck as they moved together.

Yes, he would be do the job, she decided.

He had paused, as if he was waiting for her to finish her explorations of his mind before answering, but as soon as she retreated from his mind, he downed the rest of his drink, wiping a grimace from his face at the burning liquid. “Rey, I can show you things you never would have dreamed of.”

A surge of heat went straight down to her belly. She believed him.

She should have felt guilty at the prospect of sleeping with a man what wasn’t her fiancé. The Sith values clearly stated that strength comes from inward passions, like anger, greed, and fear, and not to rely on others. Sex was only to strengthen bloodlines and ensure the survival of the Sith. But surely, this one time wouldn’t hurt anyone, and she could even use it to her advantage for the mission. _No one would know_ , she told herself, and he was annoyingly handsome, if not a bit too cocky.

Finishing her drink with one last mouthful, she looked at the door over his shoulder, the door that led to Maz’s treasures. “There.”

Ben nodded, taking her hand and pulling her through it into the empty hallway and pushing her back to the closed door, his body covering hers so he was the only thing she could see, their hands entwined and pinned above her head. He was passionate.

“You sure about this, Rey?” She swallowed, looking down the dark corridor, making a mental note of the layout, before looking back at him. Nodding, she ground her hips into his and watched as his eyes darkened. “Kriff.” He muttered under his breath.

But he didn’t move.

She growled, she had made her intentions clear and given him permission. Why wasn’t he kissing her yet? Getting frustrated at him not doing what they agreed, she surged forward, her lips crashed into his. She saw his eyes widen as she tilted her head to slant their mouths over one another’s better and he seemed conflicted as he returned her kiss. Why wasn’t he being so hesitant? She knew he knew what he was doing. Was he regretting his decision to go with her?

She pulled back, her forehead crinkling up in confusion, asking him a silent question.

Ben groaned, moving away from her but only to drag her further down the hallway and into an alcove. She was about to scold him, ask him what was wrong, when she spotted the wooden wroshyr chest. It was old, the wooden slats crooked and broken from wear and tear. Its lid was propped open on the wall behind it, revealing the objects inside. That old laser brained woman didn’t even lock the thing, Rey scoffed to herself. She probably didn’t even realise what she had in her possession, she wouldn’t even miss it, Kira thought, a smile twisting over her lips as she tried to shove Ben aside.

Suddenly another presence in the Force hit her.

It was so close, so strong, she couldn’t believe they had managed to get so close without her realising. Her head whipped to look back up the hall to see whoever it was, glad she had kept her saberstaff folded away in her satchel, but there was no one.

She pushed against Ben, ready to run or fight the new person, but his grip tightened, his body holding strong and pushing her back into a wall so she couldn’t move.

“Let me go.” She hissed. “I need to…” Her voice trailed off when she saw his face. She didn’t know how she missed it before, he practically glowed with the light. It came off him in waves.

Her eyes went wide, her jaw slack for a moment before she schooled her features and tried to channel the Force to push him away, only she couldn’t get a grip on it. The Force was there, but just out of reach. She tried to wrap her fingers around the dangling threads but couldn’t.

She didn’t know what was happening, but it felt like a cold wet blanket was being wrapped tightly around her, smothering her and restricting her movements. “What did you do?” She growled at him, baring her teeth.

“I’m sorry, Rey.” He covered both of her wrists effectively behind her back with just one of his hands, the other coming up to the side of her face. His fingertips lightly danced just over her temple and she could feel him push with the Force, it was gentle, it almost felt like a tender caress against her skin, but then the darkness took over as she fell unconscious.

  


-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey’s outfit – Inspired by the amazing @ap_marvel in [this tweet](https://twitter.com/ap__marvel/status/1236995432674459648?s=21).
> 
> [Exegol ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Exegol) \- The planet where Palpatine lived in TROS. It is a dark, barren, rocky world with large desert flats but the Sith Citadel lays beneath the surface. Dry conditions mixed with the rubbing of dust particles in the atmosphere create enormous static discharges that appeared as lightening strikes in the skies above. 
> 
> [Ap’Lek](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ap%27lek) – A [Chiss](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Chiss) Knight of Ren who wields an old Mandalorian executioner’s ax.
> 
> TC-44 – A service droid based on the [TC-4](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/TC-4/Legends). 
> 
> [Takodana](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Takodana) – A luscious planet in the Mid Rim.
> 
> Corellian Twister – An alcoholic cocktail that originated on the planet Corellia. I imagine it looks and tastes a bit like a [whiskey sour](https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/whiskey-sour).
> 
> [Maz’s Curio Box](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Maz%27s_Curio_Box) – An old, slightly broken, chest made of wroshyr wood. [Maz](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Maz_Kanata) is known to leave it unlocked.
> 
> Kriff = Fuck
> 
> Laser brained = Stupid/Crazy/Delusional


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who commenting on the first chapter of this new story! I was so worried about posting a canon-ish story, but I'm so glad I shared it as everyone has been so lovely. I hope this update doesn't disappoint. 
> 
> I will still be posting weekly updates on [Almost Perfect](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22424152/chapters/53577040). 
> 
> Find me on twitter @[LadyReyio](https://twitter.com/LadyReyIo)

Kira woke up, all her senses coming back to her in an instant.

She held herself still, and kept her eyes closed, taking care to keep her breathing calm and slow. She had been taught to assess her surroundings at all times, and if Ben thought she was still asleep, it would give her time to evaluate everything before making her move. She was sitting up, propped in a chair, her hands in her lap. Kira imagined they were bound. He would have been an idiot not to do so.

 _An idiot Jedi_ , Kira thought bitterly. She couldn’t believe how stupid she had been to fall for his charms. Of course it was a trap, no one spoke to her unless they had an ulterior motive. She wanted to curse herself at her own foolishness, knowing her grandfather was going to punish her for this.

She tried to cast out the Force, to get an idea of where she was and who was there, but found it wasn’t there. Whatever Ben had done was still affecting her. She took a moment to study exactly how she was feeling. Her veins felt like they were filled with ice water, her chest felt tight, like a weight was pushing down on it. Her senses felt muted, she realised as she tried to listen, her usually sharp hearing was dampened with a droning hum. It felt like the after-effects of one of her grandfather’s training sessions.

Focusing on her hearing, she was able to hear switches being flipped, engines whirring - they were in a ship. A jolt that rocked her body confirmed it. _The nerf herder had kidnapped her!_ Her anger rose, a quick and uncontrollable spike of emotion, and she realised too late as she heard a chair spin around.

She opened her eyes to face her captor.

“Rey-”

She bared her teeth at him, a snarl rising up through her throat. “What have you done to me?” She pushed at the Force as if that explained what she was referring to, nothing happened. Kira almost whimpered at the absence of it.

“I’m not going to hurt you-” He started, holding out his hands as if he was innocent of abduction, of stealing her power.

“You could have fooled me!” She snapped, her eyes wildly looking around the cockpit. It was old, and the walls looked dirty. Her nose wrinkled up at the shabbiness of it. Did the Resistance not have any money anymore, she sneered, they had to send their Jedi out in pieces of junk like this?

“It’s just a precaution.” Ben said, motioning to his own neck. Kira’s eyes narrowed, taking his cue and lifting her cuffed hands to touch her throat. A thin metal collar was wrapped around it, loose enough that she could poke a finger under it and curl it, but impossible to take off unless it was unlocked. “It’s a Mirichoker.”

Kira wrapped as many fingers as she could under the metal and tugged at it, grunting when the metal didn’t bend or break.

“It just dampens the Force of whoever wears it. Nothing else.” He said, trying to assure her.

“Just?” She snapped. “Have you ever tried it?” The way his eyes were immediately cast down confirmed to her he hadn’t. “It doesn’t _just_ take away the Force. I can’t breathe, I can’t taste, I can’t hear. It’s like I’m underwater. Take it off now!” She demanded, the usual feeling of electricity that coursed through her veins when she got this angry was noticeably missing.

“I can’t do that, Rey.” Ben actually had the audacity to look sorry.

“Don’t call me that.” She snapped. “You obviously know who I am.”

Ben sighed, leaning back in the pilot’s seat. His dark eyes didn’t stray from hers as he angled his head down, his thumb rubbing over his lower lip, his brow furrowed in deep thought. “You’re a Palpatine.” He finally said.

She let out a vicious laugh. “There it is. That Jedi judgement.”

It angered her how they all judged her before they even met her. They didn’t know her life, they didn’t know what hell she had been though because of them. They only knew her family name.

His silence was damning.

“You should have just killed me.” She said bitterly. That’s what the Jedi are good at. He could finish the job they had started over a decade ago.

“Rey-” The cockiness had gone, replaced with a softer looking man. His big eyes full of sympathy and lies.

“My name is Kira.”

“Then why did you say Rey?”

Her eyes stung. She twisted her arms, trying to distract herself and break free from the cuffs.

“Stop that.” He stood up and moved over to her, grabbing the cuff. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

“Take them off.”

“I will. Once you’ve calmed down.”

“I. Am. Calm.” She ground out, her teeth clenched together. Ben threw her a look, not convinced in the slightest, which only frustrated her more. “I am calm!”

She lunged at him, standing up and bringing her arms up quickly over her head, swinging them, and the heavy cuff, down to hit him. He dodged it, and given the small space in the cockpit and his large size, Kira would have been impressed, but right now she had to focus. He had put some distance between them, but it gave her an advantage as he momentarily staggered, she grabbed the nearest object she could find and flung it at his head.

His hand moved in a perfect arch and the metal cup fell to the side, but Kira has already used his distraction to her advantage, reaching for the fusioncutter attached to the ceiling. Even with her hands tied together, she knew how to handle the long tool. She was finally grateful for those training sessions when Vicrul had handicapped her in various ways to make sure she could adapt.

She threw it in the air to readjust her grip as she caught it, before using the momentum to swing it around and jab Ben in the stomach. He grunted, curling in pain. Kira knew it only bought her a few seconds, her hands manically searching the handle for the switch to turn the beam on. Just as her finger brushed the dial, Ben’s large hand wrapped around the handle and yanked it out of her grip.

“Clever.” Ben remarked, throwing the metal cutter over his shoulder and out of the cockpit.

“Prick.” Kira growled, shoving him hard in the shoulder. He whirled around, and she pressed the heels of her feet into the metal floor and used her body weight to pull back her arms and thrust the cuff into his side. The blow would have been painful, Kira could easily have broken a few ribs with the hard metal, but her arms were frozen in mid-air. His hand held in front of his chest, his fingers spread out, the Force holding her in place.

A snarl escaped her lips, a foot lashed out to kick behind his knee, his leg giving out as he sank to the floor. His hold on her wavered enough for Kira to jump forward, her fingers easily wrapping around his throat as she pushed him to the ground. She knew she didn’t have the weight or the Force to keep herself on top of him, but it felt good to squeeze and watch as his mouth part, his eyes widen in shock at her animalistic attack.

She smirked, her fingernails digging into his flesh, before he easily shoved her off and to the side. Sitting half on the floor, half propped against a seat, she listened to him gasp for air.

She was too weak to beat him, but she wasn’t weak enough to not put up a fight.

He swore, clutching his neck.

“I didn’t think Jedi used language like that.”

“I’m not… I’m not an average Jedi.” The cockiness was back, although slightly diminished as he coughed. He stood up, offering her a hand to help her. She ignored it.

“I don’t care. Jedi or not, you’re going to regret kidnapping me.”

“Whatever you say, Empress.” He turned his back to her, sauntering over to the pilot’s chair.

The aloofness of his tone grated her, huffing as she pushed herself off the floor to stand and sit down on the seat behind him. Her legs coming up to kick the back of his chair, it was childish, but it made her feel a little bit better to hear him groan in irritation.

“I will kill you, you know?” She said, mirroring his casualness. “The Knights will rescue me, if I don’t get out of here myself.”

“I’m sure your _fiancé_ is already searching space as we speak.” He snorted, flicking a few switches.

“Ap’Lak will have your head.” She sulked, catching her reflection in the window, she tilted her head to see the collar better.

“Ap’Lak? Your fiancé is Ap’Lak?” The humour in his voice made her scowl, earning him another kick in the back.

“Shut up.” She leaned her head forward, her hands trying to reach around the back of her neck, but it was difficult when they were still cuffed together. “Ow.” She cried out, when her finger twisted at an odd angle.

“Be careful, that’s worth more than this ship.”

“That wouldn’t take much. What is it anyway? What did you call it?” If she could learn more about it, she could figure out how to get it off.

“It’s a Mirichoker.” Rey managed to twist it around her neck so the lock was under her chin, looking in the shiny surface of the glass. It was quite pretty. It would almost get away with being fancy jewellery except the blue and red light that glowed in two places where precious stones would usually be. She tried to figure out what kind lock it was. Maybe she could pick it with the right tool… “You ever heard of a ysalamiri?” Kira frowned.

Of course she had heard of the ysalamiri. Any Jedi or Sith knew of the lizard-like creatures that can repel the Force. But the protective bubble they emitted only worked when they were alive, and in close proximity, and this thin collar definitely didn’t contain a living ysalamiri.

“A what?” She asked, feigning ignorance, hoping he would let his guard down and tell her more information than he should have.

“It’s a creature. It blocks the Force.” He looked over his shoulder at her. She was struck again with how handsome he was, and how it had used it to his advantage with her. Her hands itched for her saber so she could wipe that charming smile off his face. “Some of our science division and one of our techs managed to create that by isolating their pheromones, or something, I wasn’t really listening. But be careful, it’s still a prototype.” His words seemed purposefully offhanded, like he knew more than he was admitting it.

“Such a shame I’ll have to destroy it.” She emphasised the last two words, leaning forward so her lips were close to his ear, letting the disdain drip out of her mouth.

“I’ll take it off when you can be trusted.” They both knew that was never going to happen.

“I can’t wait.” She rolled her eyes, collapsing back into the chair, glaring at the back of his head. “Why are you doing this, anyway? What did I ever do to you?”

Only the noise of them speeding through space filled the ship.

“You haven’t done anything. Yet.” Ben said after a while, his voice full of a remorse she didn’t understand. “But you are dangerous, you’ve proved that. I can’t in good conscious let you continue down the path you are on.”

“And kidnapping isn’t bad at all?” She mocked. He laughed, shaking his head. It was a warm sound that suited him, and she hated that she had amused him. He was the villain here, not her.

“Palpatine has been lying to you. Feeding you ugly, poisonous ideas to make you believe what you are doing is the right thing.” Kira opened her mouth to retort, but he continued. “But it isn’t right. What he is doing is hurting people, killing thousands, and he needs to be stopped.”

“I won’t help you.” She sneered.

“Not right now, but you’re a good person, Rey. I can feel it.” She could hear the hope in his voice, the optimism. She could almost picture the look in his eyes. It was pitiful.

“Your blind faith in others will be your downfall.” Not even her grandfather had to teach her that. Kira had learnt that lesson the hard way back on Jakku.

“And ignorance will be yours.” Ben said. Kira didn’t need the Force to pick up on his bitterness. Wherever he was taking her, she hoped they got there soon. She wasn’t sure how much more of him and his righteousness she could take.

Jedi were so entitled. _And hypocrites_ , Kira thought, her nose wrinkling. They truly believed in peace, yet they trained for battle since childhood. They didn’t interfere with politics, yet they always aligned themselves with political figures. They preached harmony and serenity, yet they had thrown her life into chaos since before she could remember.

Picking at some white lint from her dark trousers, she tried to calm her raging emotions and focus. She needed to evaluate the situation and figure out a plan.

The ship they were in was old, but fast, and without the Force she couldn’t figure out how much time had passed since they met at the tavern on Takodana, so she had no clue how far they could have gotten since then.

They had just made a lot of noise in their brief fight so if any other allies of his were on the ship, they would have come to help, which meant they were alone.

Looking over her shoulder, she recognised the cockpit access corridor, the angle of the bend, it was a familiar design she had seen in texts. Kira thanked her stars she had spent so much time as a child looking over ships’ blueprints, figuring out the parts that paid the best, it meant she could immediately recall the layout of this hunk of junk.

The access corridor led from the cockpit to the main corridor, from there she could get to the Engineering Bay and find the escape pod. But it was only a pod, with no ability to control except basic steering and thrusters. He could easily swing the ship around and pick it up and she could be trapped again. She quickly dismissed that idea.

There was another choice. She could risk running through the whole ship, praying she could get through the various holding rooms the ships had, hoping they weren’t locked, and get to the life support system. There she could negotiate her escape with the threat of cutting of their air supply. Kira know it would be a dangerous gamble. Ben had already proved his cockiness and may call her bluff, he seemed too confident to be manipulated so easily. Suffocating to death on a piece of garbage ship was no way for the Empress of the Sith to die, Kira sulked. So she ruled that idea out as well.

She needed to figure out where they were heading and get a message to the Knights to come help her. Or she needed to take down Ben and commandeer the ship herself. Going back to Takodana would be a risk, the Resistance fighters most likely would have found her ship and be waiting if she returned. She would have to ditch this piece of junk and trade it for something else, something smaller and less traceable before she returned to Exegol. Something that could navigate through the rough terrain. Her grandfather would be furious, but she deserved it, her moment of weakness, of temptation, needed to be punished.

“What are you taking me, anyway?” She asked, trying to school her tone into something nonchalant.

“Prakith.” Ben said simply.

Kira’s jaw hung open. “You’re taking me into the Deep Core?”

This wasn’t good. The Knights wouldn’t venture that far into the Deep Core for a rescue mission, they didn’t have the resources or the authority on those planets and would easily be overpowered. Especially if the Resistance had a base and allies there. However, this new piece of information let her know that they would be using the Byss Run to get there, a route that even the fastest ship would take at least 10 days to travel from Takodana. She had time. And time meant she could wait for him to make a mistake then take advantage.

She just had to keep her mind sharp and look out for every opportunity she could find.

“I have friends there. They want to speak to you.”

Kira snorted. “You mean they want to torture me.”

“No.” Ben turned his seat so he faced her, his dark eyes hard, his tone irritated. “We don’t do that. _We_ wouldn’t never torture someone.”

Kira rolled her eyes at his implication. He was acting like what she had said was a lie, but she was knowledgeable of the Resistance and Jedi interrogation techniques and knew the pain she was about to face. Luckily her grandfather had trained her in their ways so she could be prepared. The mental probes of the Force were the worst, like her skull was being split open, her brain on display in the cold biting air for all to see. It always ended with her on the floor, her throat burning, her eyes raw from tears, her secrets revealed and punishment looming. Kira shivered at the memories, and without the Force she had no way to protect her thoughts. She would rather die than let them know the information her grandfather had trusted her with.

“You might as well kill me now. I won’t tell you anything.” He flinched as if her words had hit him, but he quickly recovered, his wounded expression replaced almost immediately with a laid-back smirk, slouching down in the chair.

“We don’t want whatever secrets you think you have, Empress.” He mocked her title, making it hard for Kira to keep her emotions in check. Her grandfather always said her quickness to anger and lash out was her weakness. One the Knights often took advantage of. “We just want to talk.”

“If that’s the case, why don’t you save us both the time and start talking. I’m not going anywhere.” She held up the cuff to emphasis her point. Ben sighed, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose as if she was causing him a headache. _Good_ , she thought.

His silence proved her point.

The Jedi would never talk with someone like her. She would have been satisfied to catch him in his lie if the truth didn’t mean she would most likely be tortured to death. “See. You don’t really want to ‘just talk’.” She slumped back in the chair.

“I’m only following instructions, Rey.”

“Right. Bring me to the Core Worlds, torture, humiliate, then kill me. I can’t wait.” Sarcasm like that would have earned her a hard slap from one of the Knights, but Ben simply ignored her.

He looked tired, like he was at war with himself, like one part of him wanted to reach out to her and comfort her, but the other was demanding to get as far away as possible from her. Kira noted his conflicting emotions and put them away. Perhaps he wasn’t above manipulation after all.

“Luke just wants you to hear the truth. He thinks you are worth saving.”

Anticipation swelled in her chest. Did he say Luke?

“Skywalker?” She asked before she could stop herself. His resignation subtly shifted to hope at her excitement, it only lasted a fleeting moment before it morphed back to that trademark lopsided smirk of his, but she had noticed it and regretted speaking so candidly.

“You know any other Lukes?” He teased. Her leg kicked out and she was grateful for her heavy boots as it connected with his. He jerked away.

“Luke Skywalker is a murderer. If you take me to him, you will be _guaranteeing_ my death. An unwarranted and unjustified death, if you truly believe I have not committed any grievous crimes.” She sneered, trying to hide her excitement. The Emperor had spent years trying to find Skywalker, his location always a mystery. Every bit of information the Knights recovered was always too late, when they arrived, the Jedi Master was either already gone or never there in the first place. If Ben could take her to Luke himself, he would be playing into her hand. She could kill Luke and then her grandfather would surely forgive her for failing her initial mission, for her weakness and lust. He would instead be so proud that she was able to achieve something his precious Knights never could. She just had to play along, and not let Ben know her plan. “Do you really want my blood on your hands, Jedi?”

“You have it all wrong, Rey.” A knowing smirk she longed to wipe off spread over his face. “You’ll see.” He turned his chair back around, flicking a few switches. Kira bared her teeth at the back of his head, wanting to snap them at him. She couldn’t wait to cut that arrogant face of his open with her lightsaber.

The plan had changed, all she needed to do was play along for a few days and he would lead her straight to the Final Order’s biggest enemy. She could almost laugh at her good fortune. She now had ten days to form a solid plan, get every advantage she could, and maybe even manipulate Ben into taking off this kriffing collar.

 _Soon_ , she told herself, soon she would get her revenge on Luke Skywalker.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nerf Herder = People who herded the nerf species. It is a common insult, similar to calling someone a dirty pig farmer.
> 
> Mirichoker – Inspired by the [Miriskin](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Miriskin), this is a metal collar that has the ability to dampen the Force of the wearer. Built utilizing the [Ysalamiri ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ysalamir)who have this ability. I think it looks a little [like this](https://i.imgur.com/tR41QXM.jpg).
> 
> [Handcuffs ](https://i.imgur.com/Bp3XMQR.jpg)– The same used on Rey in The Last Jedi.
> 
> [Fusioncutter ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Fusioncutter/Legends)\- A handheld industrial laser cutting tool with a long handle.
> 
> [Vicrul ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Vicrul)– A Knight of Ren who prefers to fight in close range using his [scythe](https://www.starwars.com/databank/vicrul-s-scythe). He relishes in the fight and has the ability to magnify fear in his opponents. 
> 
> [Ap’Lek](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ap%27lek) – I’ve made Ap’Lek[Chiss](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Chiss), but he is a Knight of Ren who wields an old Mandalorian [executioner’s ax](https://www.starwars.com/databank/ap-lek-s-vibro-ax).
> 
> [Prakith ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Prakith/Legends)– Main planet in the Prakith System in the Deep Core. It was a volcanic world but has been stabilised so is now civilized with major cities surrounded by mountains of rock and is big in the mining industry. The population is mostly human.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think and comment!


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have found myself with more time on my hands, so thought I'd post the next chapter early :-) I hope you like it! 
> 
> Check out my other story, [Almost Perfect](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22424152/chapters/53577040). It's a Modern Day AU.
> 
> And please don't forget to comment and kudos. I love reading what you make of each chapter! 
> 
> Find me on twitter @[LadyReyio](https://twitter.com/LadyReyIo)

They sat in silence for twenty minutes before Ben sighed, flicking a switch before standing up. Kira stood up on reflexes, sizing him up with her arms tense to strike if she needed. But Ben simply walked past her, hovering at the door as if she should follow.

“Come on, let’s get you some food.” Kira narrowed her eyes. The last time he had given her something she ended up without the Force before he knocked her unconscious. As if reading her mind, he sighed. “You can’t go the whole trip without eating or drinking.” He reasoned, and Kira reluctantly followed him.

She took in everything she could as they made their way around the ship to the little kitchenette and seating area in one of the holds. He told her to watch out for loose floor panels, and she made an effort to look through every open door they passed, making sure he didn’t catch her prying eyes. She tried not to be too concerned when she only saw one sleeping quarter, although the three beds inside made her panic ease somewhat.

“Here.” He put a bowl of stew and some polystarch bread on the dejarik board that was doubling as a table. She wrinkled her nose at the familiar rations, memories of a time she’d rather forget rushing back to her. She was tempted to throw it in his smug face as he sat back on the seat with her, his legs stretching out after being cramped in the cockpit for too long. “It’s all you’re getting, Empress, so don’t waste it.”

Her ship had much better rations than this, she thought gloomfully. _What a waste._

Despite living on Exegol for just over six years, she still valued food more than the others. There had been many times she watched her grandfather throw away half full plates, her eyes wide and wondering how many days she would have had to scavenge in order to earn that much food. He had laughed, assuring her that there would be more to come when the Final Order struck and they established the New Empire across the galaxy, but it didn’t stop her from mourning the perfectly fine meal that was wasted. Kira hated that she would never be able to get rid of that poor Jakku girl’s instincts.

Instincts that meant she grabbed the polystarch in between her cuffed hands, ripping it violently and dunking a large chunk into the stew before popping it in her mouth. The stew only marginally improved the powdery flavour and texture that always lingered in the bread. Not that it mattered, without the Force she could barely smell or taste the lifeless flavours she knew were there. It was like eating wet sand. Something else she was familiar with…

A soft chuckle bought her out of her chaotic eating.

“What?” She asked, the word showcasing her annoyance.

“Nothing.” That bantha cast-eating grin that graced his features. “Just didn’t think an Empress would eat like that.” She paused, noticing how he was using a spoon to delicately eat his stew, his bread roll lay on a separate plate, carefully cut in half, smooth yellow nerf butter spread on its surface.

He ate like royalty should do, she thought bitterly.

To spite him, she purposefully soaked another wedge of bread in the watery sauce, shoving it in her mouth aggressively, taking extra pleasure when a bit of the liquid escaped her lips and rolled down her chin. He eyes flickered down to her mouth, darkening with displeasure. She smiled as she chewed. “I’m not Empress yet, stop calling me that.” She said, her mouth full.

“What do you want me to call you? Mrs Ap’Lek?” The colour drained from her face slightly, the already muted flavours suddenly tasting repulsive on her tongue.

“Kira.” Her voice was quieter now, the pleasure she had from irritating him earlier had completely vanished. “My name is Kira.”

“Then why did you use Rey?” He asked, his tone soft, she couldn’t hear a trace of mocking from him. Was he was genuinely interested, or did he just wish to trick her again into admitting something she would rather not?

“I was undercover.” She said slowly, carefully. “I imagine telling everyone I’m Kira Palpatine wouldn’t go down well, even in an establishment like Maz’s.” She admitted, it was half true.

“Ah yes… That would definitely make it harder to get laid.” He mused aloud and Kira nearly choked on the food she had in her mouth. “I don’t think that’s it though.” He leaned forward, pushing a glass of water closer for her to grasp with her bound hands so she could clear her throat. “I think you wanted to be someone different. You admitted it yourself, you are about to enter an arranged marriage, you were frustrated, upset, maybe even lonely. Maybe you could pretend that wasn’t true, even for one night.” He noticed her empty plate, his large fingers wrapped around one slice of bread, dipping it in his bowl and take a huge bite, before he pushed the rest of his bowl in her direction. The gesture looked casual, and had an air of carelessness to it, like he didn’t care she was hungry. But she knew better. He was a Jedi after all, his sentiments made him weak. “I think I’ll keep calling you Rey, if that’s alright with you?”

Her mouth twisted in anger, but quickly relaxed her features. “Call me whatever you want. I don’t care.” She lied.

She finished eating in silence.

“Rey will make things easier in Frego.” Ben said after a while.

“Frego?” Her eyes narrowed into slits, already knowing what he was implying.

“We have to make a quick detour there on the way to the Corellian Run. Resistance stuff.” He said casually, grabbing their empty plates and putting them in the kitchen area.

“No!” She spoke too quickly, even without the Force she knew her panic was radiating off her. Why was he changing the plan? Detours like that would add days to their journey, days when she could be getting closer to Luke Skywalker. She tried to calm down. “I will not help you help the Resistance.” She sneered, her tone venomous, hoping he would believe that was her primary reason for not wanted to delay their trip.

“Don’t worry, it’s just to pick up a part for the Falcon.” He patted the ship’s wall panel, letting her know who he was referring to. He was enjoying her frustration. “She isn’t making the jump to hyperspace as easily as she should be. We’ll nip to Frego, grab the part, fix her up and then we’ll be cruising along the Corellian Hyperlane then the Byss Run to Prakith in no time.”

Kira scoffed. For a Jedi, he was an awfully good liar. In another life he could have made a great smuggler.

Smuggler… She froze. Dread filled her as her mouth hung open in shock.

“Falcon? Is this the _Millennium_ Falcon?” She asked, her voice trembling, weather it was from fear or nerves, she didn’t know. Dimples appeared in his cheeks and Kira felt sick.

“So, you’ve heard of her?” His voice was sickly sweet, pride oozing off him as he ran a hand through his hair and came to fall back down on the couch next to her.

“Ben.” She whispered to herself, her eyes flickering back and forth as she joined the dots. “Ben Solo. Son of Leia Organa and Han Solo.” Her mind whirled with options, if she hit him in the head quick enough, she might have time to grab the knife he used earlier to eat with. But it was too blunt to do any real damage. “Trained Jedi and nephew of Luke Skywalker.” She had to do something, she couldn’t just sit here next to the son of one of the biggest opponents of the Final Order’s plans, apprentice of her sworn enemy.

“So, you’ve heard of me.” That grin was back and Kira took her shot.

She didn’t have much room to manoeuvre her arms, so she just swung them at his head from her current spot. She had the element of surprise, but he was fast and had the Force. His hand flew up to grab her by the cuff and protect his head, but the momentum meant the cuff pushed his hand back and whacked it into his forehead, cushioning the blow somewhat, but still enough to let her run to the sink. She grabbed the knife, a trace of butter still smeared on the dull blade, and held it out towards him.

“Stay back!” She barked at him, wishing her hands weren’t bound together so she could have held the knife out with one hand while searching the drawers for something shaper with the other.

“For kriffs sake.” Ben groaned, rubbing his head before his fingers paused over the red bump. The angry colour slowly faded under his touch and Kira watched, eyes wide, when she realised he was healing himself.

Knowing she was about to lose her weapon, however poor it was, she made a risky move, bringing the knife to her throat. “Take the cuffs off.” She bargained, her intensions unsaid but clear.

It must have panicked Ben, because the next second his hands were in front of him, reaching out to ease her away from hurting herself. “Alright, just stay calm.”

“I am calm!” She yelled, the irony not lost on her.

One hand fished around in his pocket, bringing out a fob that she knew would release the cuff. “Drop the knife, and I’ll come over and take them off.”

Kira’s grip tightened on the metal handle. If she dropped the knife, she lost her only bargaining chip. But if she waited any longer, he could easily get bored and use the Force to simply knock the knife out of her hands. She weighed up her options, thinking on what Ap’Lek would do. He was a master at strategy, including negotiation techniques.

After a moment, she lowered the knife, letting it fall from her fingers and land on the floor with a clang. Sinking to her knees, she made an extra effort to appear utterly defeated. “Please.” She whispered, her voice wobbling, her arms limp in front of her.

Ben slowly stepped closer, squatting down in front of her. His hand was remarkably gentle as he lifted hers, pressing the little fob into the spot that made the metal click and open. Cool air hit her wrists and he moved the heavy cuff away, dropping it on the floor with a loud thud.

“I’m sorry, Rey.” He actually seemed sad that he had reduced her to this feeble state, Kira would have scowled if she could have. “I couldn’t risk you doing anything reckless.” He explained softly. She stayed quiet, waiting for him to offer something she could use. Men always hated silence in uncomfortable situations, he would soon say something to try and comfort her that she could take advantage of. “If you promise not to do something stupid, I can keep the cuffs off.”

Kira nodded her head weakly, making an effort to sniff lightly. “I just want to go home.” She kept her voice quiet, making Ben lean in close to hear her. The smell of his hair wafted up her nose, and if her senses weren’t so numbed by the Force dampening collar, she might have been able to appreciate the gentle scent of trees and space and something musky she couldn’t place. It was weird, him to smell so much of earth and the stars at the same time. It gave him a unique quality. Perhaps that was why she was so drawn to him last night, she wondered as he helped her stand, his hand lingering on her forearm.

She tried not to think about the tavern, but it was too late.

He had tricked her, and she had to admit it was skilfully done. She wondered how he had managed to mask the Force so well. The Mirichoker around her neck was an obvious answer. But she had seen his neck, she remembered, her eyes had admired the exposed creamy skin as they looked lower and wondered what was waiting for her underneath his shirt. There was definitely no collar last night. Which made her curious, just how strong with the Force he was that he could mask his presence so effectively. For kriffs sake, she had even probed his mind and hadn’t picked up on a single trace of it.

Her cheeks blushed at the memory of what she had seen when she peaked in his mind.

It wasn’t that she was embarrassed by sex and nudity, she was actually very interested in it, she just lacked the experience Ben obviously had. Seeing those woman in his mind, moaning, bodies bending in ecstasy as he had pleasured them, she had been jealous. She wanted to feel that passion with someone, and she knew it would never be with her future husband. Ap’Lek had made his contempt for that clear.

She remembered the training session the day after her birthday. Her head was still fuzzy with wine and Ushar had gotten a brutal swipe at her feet with his war club. She had whimpered when she hit the floor, a mistake. Ushar respected people when they fought back, he even praised them before death. A sign of weakness like that would only irritate him. He tilted his head to her fiancé and laughed.

“It would be such a shame if that pretty little face was scarred on your wedding day.” He mocked, and threw his club to the ground, unsheathing the machete on attached to his chest and swinging it down, narrowing missing her face as she rolled to the side. She knew he favoured the right and it saved her life.

“Shut it.” Ap’Lek called out from the other side of the sparring mat. But that didn’t stop Ushar’s ruthless attack. Kira had just enough time to spring to her feet and pull her staff in front of her to catch the next swing of his blade. She growled as she pushed back, but he used the momentum to spin and whack her in the spine with the handle of his knife. She cried out in pain as she sank to her knees.

“I wonder if she’ll make this much fuss in the bedroom.” She didn’t have to see beneath the mask to know Ushar was smirking. “What a shame I’ll never have the pleasure of finding out.” His thumb and forefinger pinched her jaw, hard.

“Stop it.” Ap’Lek had moved towards them, the tip of his ax pointed at the weak spot at Ushar’s neck where his mask ended. The shorter Knight stepped back, stalking across the room in defeat.

“Thanks.” Kira muttered, a sharp stab of pain shooting through her back her as she stood up.

“Don’t.” The blunt end of his ax pointed at her chest, halting her in place. “This marriage is not my choice, so let me make this clear.” He stepped closer, yet the ax stayed in exactly the same place, his control on his weapon was understandably terrifying. “I won’t help you, I won’t speak to you, I won’t touch you unless I have to. I would sooner cut off my arm then consummate this marriage, understand?” He practically spat.

Kira nodded. “Perfectly. At least we can agree on something.”

Digging her feet into the mat, she swung her staff at him.

She had cried herself to sleep that night. It was silly, but those childish dreams she thought she had shut away, of finding her family, falling in love, starting a family of her own, had flooded back the moment she realised she wouldn’t get the chance to have them.

“You’ll get to go home.” Ben assured her. “After you see Luke.”

Luke Skywalker. That was one dream she could fulfil.

Kira thought how accurate Ben’s statement was. She was going to see Luke Skywalker, and the she would then kill him. She would avenger her parents. Then return home and make her grandfather proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Millennium Falcon sleeping quarters ](https://i.imgur.com/uBtC3Wr.jpg)
> 
> [Polystarch bread ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Polystarch_portion_bread) \- A type of bread made from dried flour and water. Part of rations used in the military. The same that Rey ate at the beginning of TFA. 
> 
> [Dejarik ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Dejarik) – Space chess! There is one of these boards on the Millennium Falcon, you can see a picture [here ](https://i.imgur.com/jY7QBjc.jpg).
> 
> [Bantha ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Bantha) Cast = It’s the equivalent of says shit, or bull shit. 
> 
> [Nerf ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Nerf) – Like cows or bulls. I thought if they produced milk, then there could be nerf butter. 
> 
> [Frego](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Frego) – An urban planet in the Core Worlds that used to be run by criminals. It still houses a lot of shady activity… 
> 
> [ Corellian Run](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Corellian_Run) – A major hyperspace route that connects the Outer, Inner and Core Worlds. 
> 
> [Byss Run](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Byss_Run) – A smaller hyperspace route that connects the planets in the Deep Core. 
> 
> [Ushar ](https://www.starwars.com/databank/ushar) – A Knight of Ren who is extremely skilled in hand to hand combat. He takes pleasure in the kill and mocks those who beg for mercy. He wields a [ club with a kinetite charged end](https://www.starwars.com/databank/ushar-s-war-club), but also a machete on his chest for those he wishes to give a slow death to.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this new chapter!
> 
> Don't forget to check out my other story, [Almost Perfect](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22424152/chapters/53577040). It's a Modern Day AU.
> 
> And please comment and kudos, they mean a lot to me. 
> 
> And don't forget to follow me on twitter @[LadyReyio](https://twitter.com/LadyReyIo)

Kira didn’t wake up in her own bed. She knew that without having to open her eyes.

As the last remnants of sleep escaped her, her senses - as dulled as they were - returned to her and everything was wrong.

The first thing she noticed was the smell. There was a mustiness in the air, it reminded her of clothes that had been worn many too times; not dirty, just old, maybe a little stale. Then her hands brushed over the sheets. They were scratchy, rough under her fingertips. Not the cold smooth silk she was familiar with. Then her sense of gravity came back and she recalled exactly where she was. She was on that ugly piece of junk metal. The Millennium Falcon.

Her eyes flew open and she grasped at her neck, finding the thin band of metal still securely fastened around her neck. Growling, she shoved the sheets away.

At least he had taken off those damn cuffs. It was a small victory, but she was going to take it.

“Not a morning person?” Ben Solo stood at the doorway, a cup of caf in his hand. He was far too chipper for this time of day. Narrowing her eyes at the hot liquid, she willed the Force to throw it in his face, scolding that smirk off his pretty mouth, but there was nothing. Not even a hum of energy.

“Screw you.”

His hand covered his chest and his mouth fell open in a caricature of hurt. “And here I was, being nice and bringing you a cup of nice, hot caf.” He held out the mug and Kira stood up to take it. His hand whipped back before she could. “I need you to promise me something first.”

“I’m not turning to the Light for caf.” Although the idea was tempting, she thought, her craving for the liquid energy spiking.

He let out a warm chuckle. “I wouldn’t expect you to. We’re going to Frego today and I need you to be on your best behaviour.”

“Whatever.” Her hand reaching out again, this time successfully wrapping around the steaming mug. She let out a sigh of relief at the first sip.

“I put out some clothes for you to wear over there.” His head motioned over her shoulder, she didn’t bother to look. “All that black might make people suspicious.” She huffed. Her clothes were fine. The material was lightweight, they didn’t restrict movement, and they allowed her to hide in shadowed areas effectively. Not that there were as many shadowy places on this ship, but they gave her the ability to remain unseen at the Citadel when she needed to. She could at least still wear the belt around her waist from her normal outfit.

“How’d you sleep?” He tried again to start a conversation and while she was tempted to ignore him, to keep calm and stay stoic, the urge to make a bitter remark won.

“The mattress is lumpy.” Ben’s smirked and she knew she should have stayed quiet. Her grandfather always told her off for her outbursts, calling them childish. _It is not the way of the Sith_ , he had told her on many occasions when she had made comments he thought were imprudent. She had always felt foolish afterwards, regretting her impulsiveness. But she never learned, and the next day some more feisty words would be said, and she’d feel disappointed in herself all over again. She was never the Empress he wanted her to be, she thought with shame.

Ben, however, smirked at her sass. He seemed to almost enjoy it, his arms folding over his chest, muscles straining under his cream shirt as he spoke. “You should try the couch.”

He had slept somewhere else on the ship overnight, leaving her locked in the sleeping quarters alone. She supposed locking her in was the smart choice, she would have explored the ship while he was sleeping otherwise. It was so big and full of junk that she was bound to find something she could use to get the blasted Mirichoker off, or at least a weapon she could hide and use at a later time.

“There are two other beds. You only have yourself to blame for your stubbornness.” She stated which earned her a side eye. They both knew if he had slept in here with her then she would have suffocated him to death with a pillow the first chance she had.

“If you want to sleep with me, Empress, all you have to do is ask.” He winked and if she wasn’t so desperate for caf she would have thrown the mug at his smug face. At least that’s what she told herself as her cheeks heated, the caf was clearly overheating her, she mused.

“I’d rather sleep with a Hutt than Jedi scum.” She threw back at him, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“You could have fooled me.” Ben sauntered over to a cupboard and suddenly pulled off his shirt, exposing his bare chest. Kira nearly choked.

“Wha- What are you doing?”

“Getting changed. Why, what does it look like?”

Kira huffed, crossing her legs on the bed in a meditation pose, trying her hardest not to look at him. But it was a small room, and he was a ridiculously oversized man, she couldn’t help but notice his naked back. His skin was smooth and creamy, a stark contrast to his dark hair and black trousers, which Kira was grateful he hadn’t removed as well. She could easily make out his well-defined muscles as he moved about, looking for something, his shoulder blades pulling at just the right angle that it emphasised his impressive build. It was almost mesmerising to watch the skin pull tight, revealing little ridges of his spine running down – a long line in the centre of his back - that ended with two little dimples just above where his pants sat.

Kira held the mug up to her mouth but didn’t move to drink. The taut skin showcased the muscles around his ribs, she wondered how it would feel to drag her finger over those the little bumps and lines. His chest was equally, if not more, impressive.

Years of Jedi training had given him remarkable pectoral muscles. She felt her face heating up again, and she couldn’t blame the caf this time. It felt important for her to note the small scattering of moles that littered his pale skin, like the information would be vital in the future somehow.

She could almost picture him with a saber, the advantage he had in combat with such physical strength. Her eyes racked over his abs, heading lower when the sound of someone clearing their throat jolted her out of her appraisal.

Ben was staring at her, a perfectly arched eyebrow quirked up, his eyes glistening with amusement at catching her obvious inspection. Her eyes narrowed but she didn’t look away, she couldn’t shy away as if she’d been caught. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Not that it mattered, he was already pretty self-satisfied.

“Enjoying the view?” His voice was filled with arrogance.

“I’ve seen better.” She said offhandedly. It was a lie. “You’re not as impressive as you think you are.” Another lie.

“Impressive enough that you were willing to sleep with me.” He reminded her, stepping towards her slowly for no other purpose than to make her nervous.

“That was a mistake.”

“I know, I’m _Jedi scum_.” He quoted her words, yet they didn’t sound as harsh coming from his own mouth. He slowly lowered himself onto one of the other bunks, pulling the black sweater over his head and pushing the sleeves over his arms. Kira exhaled, relaxing slightly now he was more covered. “I am sorry, you know.”

“Sorry for what?” She asked, turning to look away and focus on the pile of clothes he had left her. They looked old. And were much too light for her liking. A greeny grey pair of trousers and a dark grey tunic. Why was it okay for him all black, but not her? She wondered with a scowl.

“For tricking you.” He had the audacity to sound genuine. “I couldn’t figure out another way to get you alone.” He admitted.

“It’s nothing. You bested me, it doesn’t matter how.” Her grandfather had repeatedly told her that she must use any and everything to her advantage, and she had to respect Ben on some level for recognising her loneliness and using it against her. If it was the other way around, she would have done the same thing.

“I don’t feel good about it-” He started but she cut him off.

“I don’t care about how you feel.” She hissed. “You saw a weakness in your enemy and utilized it. You shouldn’t apologise for that.”

They sat in silence for a moment as she tried to control her anger, and he thought over her words. Eventually he stood up, heading to the door, but pausing just as he reached the threshold.

“Wanting love is not a bad thing, Rey.” His back was turned, his voice was quiet, as if what he had said was supposed to be poignant to her.

Kira sneered. “And that is why the Resistance will lose. Love is a weakness.”

She didn’t see his shoulders sag before he walked away, leaving her alone to contemplate their conversation.

Love had always made her weak.

That pathetic little girl on Jakku, not willing to leave and explore a better life out of fear that someone who loved her would return soon. And she had to be there to greet them or they would leave again.

That isolated teenager who desperately gave into her fickle urges and found temporary love in a lowly guard’s arms.

That lonely woman who was resigned to live a life absent of love, seeking one night of it before it was too late.

Kira’s biggest mistakes came from wanting love. But this was the last time. She refused to make that error in judgement again.

Before she could stop herself, her mind flashed back to those bitter memories. Or more specifically, of Mahen.

He was a sweet man. Like all the staff in the Citadel, he had grown up on Exegol, Sith values being taught to him since childhood. He had felt honoured to get his role as a guard to the Empress, his family had been so proud, their oldest son earning such a valued role at such a young age.

Kira liked him, insisting he talk to her and keep her entertained, as the closest in age person she could find. And after his initial hesitancy, she convinced him that part of being her guard meant guarding her from boredom. She had been young and naïve to think it wouldn’t have consequences.

Even as they started talking, Kira knew what she was doing was wicked, if her grandfather found out he would most likely demote Mahen or at least move him out of the Citadel. But she had been lonely for years on Exegol by that point, and finding a distraction in someone who could tell her about life outside was a huge relief.

After a few months of their secret friendship, Kira had been so grateful when he was standing guard at her bedroom door after a week of horrible training. The Knights weren’t going easy on her any more now she was getting older, not holding back their blows quite a much. She had already visited the bacta tanks three times that week to mend broken bones. And her grandfather had put her through a particularly draining session where he ripped a memory she didn’t even know she had of finding an old Rebel helmet on Jakku and keeping it. He had not taken kindly to her innocent actions and Kira found herself waking up in the medical centre for the fourth time that week, her throat raw from screams.

So Mahen’s kind face, his sandy blond hair and dark blue eyes were just the balm she needed as she vented her frustrations at him.

Then, his comforting hand on her shoulder dropped lower. And Kira lingered close to his body after he had hugged her. She could feel his nervousness through the Force, could feel his adoration for her, and it was overwhelming.

Soon their lips smashed together, clothes were discarded. She had shaken when he positioned himself between her legs, her eyes squeezed shut as he entered her, stretching her in a way she didn’t know was possible. He was gentle, stopping when she cried out in pain, asking her over and over again if she was alright. She felt… she felt loved by him.

It was quick, and somewhat clumsy. She had made sure to push him away as he came, his spend landing on the sheets. And while his love had felt nice, it hadn’t relieved the frustration coiled up inside her.

She remembered them laying in the bed, both wishing his arms were still wrapped around her, instead of hastily putting his amour back on to return to his post before someone noticed. He had kissed her sweetly and promised he would take care of her. And she foolishly let herself believe him. She fell asleep with ideas of the life they could have together in the Citadel. It wouldn’t be perfect, he would have to accept his place as a consort, his station in life so humble that marriage didn’t even cross her mind as a possibility. But they could find happiness and company in each other while they fulfilled their separate duties.

The next day she was summoned to her grandfather’s throne room, which wasn’t unusual, but when she arrived she saw Mahen was on his knees, his limbs bound by invisible ties in the Force. Her service droid, TC-44 stood to the side, her bed sheets folded neatly in his metal hands, a glimpse of a red and white stains on show.

There was no point denying what had happened. Her grandfather had invaded her mind, his lips twisting in disgust at the confirmation.

She was made to watch as Ap’Lek swung his ax. Mahen’s body slumping to the ground.

She expected there to be worse to come, but the Emperor ushered her away, stating that was punishment enough. She spent the rest of the day in her room, crying and vowing never to let herself succumb to weakness again. No one else was going to die because of her foolish need for love.

Kira didn’t even realise she was crying until she brushed the wetness from her cheeks. She hadn’t thought about that day in a long time…

She sighed, standing up and stripping down to her underwear. The clothes Ben had picked out were not her taste at all, they offered no battle protection, and the pair of trousers looked as if they were made for a boy rather than a grown woman.

Tugging them on, she frowned. They would have to do. Even if she did look like Resistance garbage. What would her grandfather make of this outfit? The Knights would certainly never let her live it down.

Her mind drifted back to Exegol and what was waiting there upon her return.

She supposed Ap’Lek was the perfect husband for her. He was a strong and respected Knight. A rare Force-sensitive Chiss. He had proved himself time and time again, even foiling an assassination attempt on her grandfather a few months ago when they visited a Wookie planet to enlist their loyalty. That had ensured his top spot in her grandfather’s graces. And his blatant disregard for her meant she could never fool herself into thinking love was a possibility.

Yes, she could accept their marriage for the ritual formality it would be. And when the time came to produce an heir, she would lie down and meditate into a different state of consciousness so not to be too bothered by what was happening.

Kira shuddered at the thought.

She tried not to feel bitter that her true role as Empress was to continue the Palpatine line, a role that was made more and more obvious as she grew older. Her loss of virginity was a mark against her character that the Emperor had been extremely displeased with, even if she had ensured no child resulted from it. She was meant only for her husband, and her husband had been now been decided.

Her grandfather was convinced her and Ap’Lek’s children would be powerful, with her lineage and his Chiss genes that provided enhanced hearing and vision, any offspring would surely be strong with the Force and worthy of the Emperor mantle. Feared throughout the galaxy…

A sigh escaped her lips, and without realising it, her hand had subconsciously rubbed over her flat belly as she smoothed out the top she was wearing. She pulled away as if she had been burned.

No, she was more than just a womb for Ap’Lek’s seed. She was a skilled fighter, powerful with the Force. She just needed to make them see. And Luke Skywalker’s head would be the perfect way to prove it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Caf](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Caf) – Coffee
> 
> [Hutt](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Hutt) – A large slug-like species who are native to the planet Nal Hutta.
> 
> [ Bactatanks](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Bacta_tank) – A tank where the user is submerged in bacta to accelerate healing. 
> 
> And if you liked this story, please comment and subscribe!


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay. Life has certainly been crazy these past few weeks, but thank you for being so patient with me!
> 
> If you want to follow me on Twitter, you can find me here: @[LadyReyio](https://twitter.com/LadyReyIo)
> 
> Please don't forget to comment and kudos at the end!

The cantina was dark, and stuffy, and noisy and her patience was wearing thin. It didn’t help that Ben Solo seemed to be enjoying himself so much, one elbow propped against the bar, a relaxed air about him as they waited for whoever his Resistance buddy was. 

She tugged at the belt wrapped around her waist; it seemed pointless without a blaster or lightsaber attached to it. The thought suddenly struck her. “Did you keep my saber?” 

It was a beautifully crafted weapon. She had designed it herself, using parts from an old staff she used on Jakku and pieces of guns and tools she had dissembled on Exegol. To the uneducated, it looked like a short staff, with a hinge to fold it in half and make it more compact for carrying. But when she flipped that switch, the crackling red blades that ignited from both ends sang for her. It was a dance when she wielded them with danger and deadly accuracy. It would be a shame to lose it. The last hints of that scavenger from Jakku gone with it… Not that she cared about Jakku, she told herself, it was the kyber crystal that would be the real loss. They were so hard to locate. 

“It’s safe.” Ben assured her, eyeing her curiously. “Interesting design. I couldn’t help but notice the unstable fixtures.” 

“It’s effective.” Kira hissed. How dare he judge her handiwork, the gall… 

“It’s dangerous.” He picked up some snacks from a small bowl and popped them in his mouth, a laid back air to him. “You could cut off your own arm with that thing.” 

“I can handle it.” She wasn’t sure if it was the crowded bar, or the anger that made her step closer to him, her eyes challenging. “I’d like to see if you could.” 

His eyes darkened, his gaze penetrating for a moment with obvious intrigue, before a lopsided smirk spread over his face, dimples forming in his cheeks. “Oh, you’d be surprised with what I can handle, Empress.” Her mouth dropped open in shock. Did he really just say that? She didn’t have time to think of a retort before his hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her quickly against him. 

She lifted her arms to hit him only to notice the man behind her stumbling over his drunken feet and slamming hard against the counter where she had just been standing. Ben had just pulled her away to avoid getting crashed into. She relaxed slightly, her arms falling back to her sides. She would have been able to sense that miles off if she had access to the Force. 

“Thank you.” She muttered quietly, trying not to think about the firmness of his body against hers. 

“No problem.” His arms didn’t loosen. He was studying her calmly, something whirling through the forefront of his mind, and it infuriated her that she could not read a single feeling off of him. 

“You can let me go now.” She hissed, twisting her hips to pull away from him. His grip instantly releasing her. But he didn’t move back. “I want my saber back.” 

He laughed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Sorry, that’s not going to happen.” His ember eyes shone in the dim light of the bar. It made him look younger, almost carefree. 

“Then, I want this damn choker off.” Her finger hooked under the metal, tugging at it pointlessly. 

“Well, seeing as you asked so nicely…” Ben teased her, nodding absent-mindedly at the bar tender to refill their drinks. “The choker stays on until I can trust you.” He said, voice deep. 

“Why don’t you just admit you won’t take it off. Don’t lie and pretend I’m going to magically turn to the Light and join your cause.” She snorted, looking around the to see if there was any sign of his ally yet. 

“I have faith in you.” He muttered, his tongue darting out to wet his lip before taking a sip of the drink that had been placed down in front of him. 

She paused her searching and faced him, the cocky air had gone, replaced with an optimistic look in his eyes. “You do, don’t you?” She leaned forward, her hand resting lightly on his shoulder as she stood on her toes. “That will make killing you all the sweeter.” A slow, wicked grin stretched across her lips as she pulled back and leaned against the counter, pleased to see his hope vanish, horror flickering across his features instead. 

He studied her for a moment, pursing his lips. She tried not to get enraged at his calmness. She wanted more of a reaction from him, yet he consistently tolerated her cruel threats, even mocked them. It must have been his Jedi training, peace and serenity and all that bantha crap. Still, she took pleasure in the small moments when he revealed his troubled feelings from her comments. 

“I don’t think you could do it, Empress.” The smugness was back. “I think you’re all bark, no bite.” She tried not to notice how handsome he looked as he knocked back his drink, the long pale line of his neck exposed, the muscle of his arm tense as his grip on the glass revealed how uncomfortable he really was. 

She bared her teeth at him. It was childish, something she did on Jakku to ward off others by making her look wild, crazy even, but she didn’t care. It was so busy in the bar that no one was paying attention except him. “I have plenty of bite.” 

“If you say so.” His voice was dripping in sarcasm and it infuriated her instantly. Why did him mocking her enrage her so quickly? The Knights teased her, in significantly worse ways than Ben Solo, and yet she never got affected the way he was making her feel right now. “I bet this was your first mission, so desperate to make ol’ granddad proud. I doubt you’ve ever even faced real combat, let alone killed somebody.” He took her untouched drink and downed it as well, his large hand stayed wrapped around the glass as he pointed a finger at her. “And that’s why I have hope, Rey. You are not a lost cause, not if I can help it.”

His words silenced her. It hurt how accurately her had managed to read her. Despite the noisy surroundings, the silence between them stretched on uncomfortably. 

“You’re wrong.” Kira breathed after what felt like hours. “People have died because of me.” The image of Mahen’s lifeless body slumping to the floor flashed up in her mind before she could stop it. Ben tensed and she knew he had picked up on her emotions through the Force. 

“Come on.” His hand hovered by her elbow, his voice suddenly gentle. “Let’s go find somewhere to sit down.” She simply nodded, following his large frame as it parted the crowd. 

They settled into a booth, Ben folding himself in, somehow making it look effortlessly casual despite his limbs being too long and big to truly fit in the seat. The opening on his shirt moved, giving her a peak of the creamy skin underneath. He really was handsome, which was a shame. She would miss his laid back demeanour; she found it refreshing. Everyone on Exegol was so stiff and formal, regimented. Like if they moved an inch the wrong way they would be killed on the spot, although she supposed that may be have been the case. She didn’t realise she had bitten her lip as she watched him until his gaze dropped down to look at them. Shifting, she pretended she hadn’t been caught and tried to look disinterested. 

“Your friend is late.” She commented. 

“He’ll be here.” 

“We should go before someone recognises me.” Kira hurriedly said, partly because she was bored and looking for a reason to leave, but mostly because this bar was full of Resistance allies and that put her on edge. The whole planet was a Resistance supporter, announcing its loyalty to them when the Final Order had started to threaten the peace over a decade ago. Kira knew people hated change, feared it, even when it was necessary, but she was disgusted when one of the Exegol historians taught her the history of their cause, how they had been painted as evil by the Resistance who refused to give up the power they had over the government who had stolen everything from the Empire decades earlier and tried to eradicate the Sith. 

“Don’t worry, _Rey_.” His deep voice stressed her name, reminding her that no one knew who she was, but she still didn’t like it. “We’re fine.” 

“That’s easy for you to say, you don’t have a target on your back.”

“There isn’t a target on your back.” Ben rolled his eyes and it made her blood boil. Kira knew she was quick to anger, it was another downfall of hers. While anger and passion gave users of the Dark Side power, if those emotions were not controllable, they made mistakes. And she had lashed out in anger many times during training and ended up with a nasty mark or broken bone from it. Her grandfather had her meditate for several hours a day, to focus her feelings and power, often helping her by taking the extra energy she amassed from her rogue emotions from her and using it for himself. Kira didn’t mind. She was grateful for his wisdom. She would be a better Empress because of it. 

She focused on her breathing. She would not let Ben Solo aggravate her; she was better than that. 

“For years I have lived in fear of the Jedi and the Resistance, there have been many assassination attempts on my life, all because of who I was born to. Do you honestly think for a second that if I stood up now, let everyone in this room know my true identity, that one or more of them wouldn’t take the chance and kill me? To wipe out the future Empress of the Sith.” 

He tried to protest but she continued. 

“If you are so sure there isn’t a price on my head, then let’s tell your Resistance friend my real name, let’s see how he reacts when the very thing he is fighting against is sitting right in front of him, defenceless.” Her fingers grabbed the collar as if to prove her point. She watched as his jaw worked, his mouth opening and closing a few times before deciding against what he was going to say. Her point proven, she sat back, crossing her arms over her chest. “Exactly.” 

“I’d protect you.” Ben finally said.

“Will you protect me from Luke Skywalker? From General Organa? My execution will be expected when you take me to them. Think of how it would rally the tropes! You think you can stop them?” Her laugh was bitter. He was more naïve that she thought if he believed that. 

“We aren’t like that.” Ben seemed genuinely upset by her accusation. He truly believed in his cause, and while she respected that, she wasn’t going to let him be her only way of survival. 

“No, you just flirt with women, drug then kidnap them.”

“I never drugged you.” Kira narrowed her eyes at him, who was he kidding? 

“What? You just used your Force to slowly weaken mine, all while concealing your own signature?” Scoffing, it was her time to roll her eyes. Just because he was a naïve fool, didn’t mean she was. He would have to be extremely powerful, perhaps the most powerful Jedi to have existed to achieve such skill. In all her teachings, Kira had only heard of one person who could manually dampen the Force of another. Vader. And even then, he couldn’t mask his own powers at the same time.

He stayed silent and Kira took it as a small victory. 

“Solo!” A voice exclaimed over the crowd, making Kira tense immediately. 

Ben stood up, clasping the younger man’s hand in his and pulling him close for a half hug. They smiled broadly at one another before Ben moved, sitting down next to her now, his arm thrown around her shoulder casually much to her annoyance. 

“Finn, this is Rey. She’s… well, she’s someone special.” He said vaguely and Kira resisted the urge to shake her head at him. 

“Hi Rey, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Finn.” He held out his hand, a bright smile on his face, and Kira cautiously took it. He didn’t look surprised at her presence, which told her that having a random girl at his side wasn’t an odd occurrence for Ben Solo. 

Finn was a good-looking man. Dark hair, dark eyes, but an easy smile that brightened his features. He looked closer to her age than to Ben’s, and his enthusiasm seemed to confirm that thought. He didn’t seem like a high up Resistance member, more like a fighter, but why would Ben be meeting with a fighter for something important? Kira stored this information in her brain, memorising his face and every detail she could that she could possibly use in the future. 

“Likewise.” She gave him a small smile and tried to relax, but then Ben squeezed her shoulder lightly and her back seized. 

She tried to keep focus as they made small talk, but Ben’s hand was covering her whole shoulder, his thumb stroking small but firm circled into her flesh and it was very distracting. Because of how awful it was, she told herself when Finn laughed at something Ben said and his hand moved up and down her arm, as if he was trying to stroke the exposed skin. What was he doing? He was acting as if they were… oh, she realised how this looked to the young man sat across from them. 

Logic told her it was better for her to pretend to be Ben’s lover than to let this excitably eager, probably trigger happy, Resistance member know her real identity, but that didn’t stop her from being aggravated at him touching her so causally.

“That’s a nice necklace, Rey. Does it mean something?” Finn asked her after a while. He was being friendly. 

Her fingers flew to the thin metal and she felt Ben’s hand still near her elbow. “Thank you. It’s… it’s from Jakku.” She lied. 

“You’re from Jakku?” Finn’s eyebrows had shot up, and she could detect a hint of judgement. It was understandable, Jakku was a dump. 

She nodded. “Yes. I know it’s just a piece of worthless junk, but my mother gave it to me before she died, so… I can’t take it off.” The rough fingers on her arm started to move again, rubbing her skin as if comforting her. Her foot found his under the table and she jammed her heel into it. Wincing, Ben moved away. The fleeting pain on his face changing to a lazy smirk as if the former never happened.

“I’m sorry, Rey. I think it’s really pretty.” She was stunned by his genuine compliment. Why was he being nice? Wasn’t this a business meeting? 

“You know what else is pretty?” Ben pointed a long finger at the younger man. “Those new charge planes I need.” Kira’s eyes widened. Of course the Millennium Falcon wasn’t making the leap to hyperspace if its charge planes were shot. She watched as Finn lifted his bag onto the table and pushed it over, as if it didn’t contain over five thousand credits of hyperdrive generator. Ben carefully handed it to her and she threw him a look as she rested it on her lap. What was he doing? She could make a run for it, sell the planes to the first person she could. Even at half price it would give her more than enough to a ride out of here. Resistant ally planet or not, a few hundred credits would tempt anyone to take her out of the Core Worlds and closer to Exegol. She realised why when she noticed Ben push a small rectangle datacard across the table in return. 

Ben and Finn slipped back into casual conversation, as if no exchange had taken place, and Kira found herself able to focus on them more now Ben wasn’t crowding her space. 

“Then I said, “at least the food is good”!” Finn joked as he finished a story she had only been half listening to.

“I bet anything is good after that Final Order crap.” They both laughed and Kira stiffened. Final Order crap? She looked between both the men, her eyes narrowing. Finn… She racked her brain and then it dawned on her. Finn. FN… FN-2187!

He was part of the rogue Stormtrooper fleet that had rebelled against their programming. She remembered hearing of it a year or so ago. The Emperor had not been happy to hear of the Final Order’s failure to explain why the programming of one trooper had failed, leading him to break the hold on the rest of his squadron and commandeer an Order ship and escaped, running to the Resistance with vital knowledge. They had lost approximately fifty troopers that day, a small amount in the grand scheme of things, but it had revealed a weakness in their system. One the Final Order messenger paid for with his life. 

Kira looked around and was pleased to see a man walking past them on his way to the fresher. She waited until his was within arm’s reach and effortlessly removed his blaster from the holster on his hip. 

Pushing herself as far away from Ben as she could, she aimed the gun at FN-2187 across the table. 

“Traitor!” She hissed, his finger pulling the trigger without a moment’s hesitation. 

The blue streak crackled in front of her, hanging mid-air as if frozen, suspended from the ceiling. Her head wiped to Ben, his hand was stretched out, fingers tense and pointed towards to laser beam. It was raw, and powerful, and she found herself unable to breath as the rest of the bar slipped away, noise dying down until only the crackling of the live shot spitting dangerously could be heard. 

As quickly as he’d stopped it, Ben’s hand moved and the shot of blue hit the wall next to them. A scorch mark the only evidence of what had happened. His finger jerked the blaster out of her hand and Kira growled, making a jump at Ben, her hands going to wrap around his neck. 

Using her own momentum against her, Ben caught and twisted her so she was pinned forward on to table, her face and chest pressed against the hard flat surface. 

“What was that?!” Finn cried out. The noise of the bar returning as if that hadn’t happened. 

Ben grunted as she struggled against him. “Rey, here, doesn’t really agree with our principles.” He said diplomatically through clenched teeth. 

“You bought a member of the Final Order along for a road trip? What the kriff?!” 

“Ha!” Kira spat out. “Go on, Ben. _Tell him_.” 

Ben sighed. “She’s… This is Kira, the Emperor’s granddaughter.” 

Finn leaped out of his seat, pointing a shaking finger at them both. “You’re crazy, Solo. Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? How reckless you’re being?” 

“Reckless is my middle name.” She wished her head wasn’t pinned down, so she didn’t have to see the bantha crap eating grin he had on his face. “I know what I’m doing, Finn. Trust me.” She struggled against his grip again, not expecting it to make a difference. “Give that disk to my mother and Luke, it explains everything.” 

“You’re crazy.” Finn repeated, quickly pushing himself through people as he made his way out of the bar. 

As soon as the traitor was too far away for her to catch up with him, Ben released his hold on her and she pushed away, her hands still bound by the invisible Force.

“Well. That could’ve gone worse.” He shrugged. He seemed so relaxed, it frustrated her. “Let’s get out of here before you actually hurt someone.” She felt him push her lightly, despite not actually touching her, as they headed out, towards where they had landed earlier. 

Kira growled, baring her teeth at him. Why did he always put her on edge? His laid-back attitude and easy nature infuriated her. Like he never took anything seriously! She wanted to wipe that smirk off his handsome face the first chance she got. She scolded herself at her traitorous thoughts. 

He was _not_ handsome, she told herself. He was average at best. Below average, she said, trying to convince herself. And it didn’t matter, he could be the most beautiful person in the galaxy, but his ignorance and nativity, his hypocritical actions and idealistic beliefs made him the ugliest man alive to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey’s Double Ended Lightsaber – The same as the one we saw in TROS. You can find a picture of her wielding it [ here](https://i.imgur.com/ipEuRZq.jpg). 
> 
> [Kyber Crystal](https://www.starwars.com/databank/lightsaber-crystal) – A crystal that is attune with the Force. It is the core that powers a lightsaber. 
> 
> [Charge planes](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Hyperdrive/Legends?file=SSP05_hyperdrive_generator.jpg) – A key part in a hyperdrive generator. 
> 
> [Datacard](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Datacard?file=Datacard-RO.jpg) \- A small disk used to store information, like a USB or floppy disk.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy this new update :-) 
> 
> Follow me on Twitter, here: @[LadyReyio](https://twitter.com/LadyReyIo)
> 
> And don't forget to comment and kudos at the end!

“Pass me the screwdriver?” Ben asked, his hand stretched out towards her. Kira looked down her nose at the metal tool he needed, kicking it with her boot until it was just an inch out of his reach. “Thanks.” He said, unaffected by her insolence as he used to Force to effortlessly make it move the last inch into his grasp.

The walk back to the Millennium Falcon had been trying. His unwavering belief, and constant little comments he made about her and how she could be Light were infuriating. It made her tempted to run headfirst into a tree on more than one occasion.

And now she was being forced to help him replace two of the four charge planes that had worn out before they made their way to Prakith.

“Kriff!” Ben yelped as an electric hiss was heard, pulling his hand away quickly from being shocked.

“You should remove the inter-level conduits counter-clockwise.” She commented, looking down the hatch he was working in.

He didn’t say anything as he started to do as she said and didn’t get shocked again. After a few more minutes, he pushed himself out of the access hatch and sat on the edge of the metal grate, his legs dangling over the edge. His hand wiped over his slightly sweaty brow before pushing it back in his hair, a move she was becoming all too familiar with, as she tried not to remember how soft his hair had been.

“How did you know how to do that?”

“I wasn’t always an Empress.” She shrugged, not feeling to need to lie to him as they sat in the quiet corridor. It was almost peaceful between them, now he had given up on his lectures for the day. “I only found out my name was Kira Palpatine when I was twelve.” He started tidying away the tools and she was glad he wasn’t looking at her as she continued. “I spent years growing up on Jakku before my grandfather rescued me. I’d have to scavenge for old ship parts to trade for food and water. Nine conduits would be half a ration of food, sometimes more depending on their condition. They were… they were valuable to me.” Her eyes glazed over as she thought of her little fingers getting stung as she tried to reach as many as she could find in the wreckages, before she realised that little trick.

Ben’s face had softened, his lips pouting out in pity, or maybe it was empathy, she didn’t know the difference. “I’m sorry, Rey. That sounds really hard.”

“It was a long time ago. When _Rey_ actually existed.” She snorted, then realised she had given away too much when Ben reached out to her, his hand covering hers gently. “She was pathetic. Jakku was no place for an Empress.” She said, tilting her chin up and trying not to think about how she ended up there in the first place. That was something she had to keep secret, or Ben would never take her to Prakith.

But perhaps she could use this to her advantage, this empathy he seemed to have. Ben cared too much, a Jedi’s curse, and if she could make him care for her, make him sympathetic to her past… she could slowly manipulate him. Kira considered the option. It would mean she would have to open up to him, let herself be vulnerable, so he could sense sadness and isolation in the Force, and hope he was as thoughtful as he seemed to be. Hope he let his guard down and do something nice out of compassion like take off the Mirichoker. She mentally stored that idea away for later.

“She sounds strong, like she survived in a really difficult place.”

“Whatever.” She pulled back from his touch, rubbing the hand under her nose as she sniffed and cleared her throat. She couldn’t start being too defenceless right away, she told herself, he would be able to tell she was up to something.

“You do that a lot.” Ben commented, pushing himself off the ground and replacing the metal access grate.

“Do what?” She slowly stood up, watching him carefully and wondering if she could sneak away a pin or screw from the tool kit by his feet. She might be able to use it to break the damn lock on the collar.

“Get all tense whenever I touch you.” He hunched his shoulder up as if explaining what he was talking about. “You’re so stiff.”

“Maybe I just don’t like men touching me.” He turned his head for a second and she eyed the little box, but he was looking at her again a moment later. It would be impossible to steal away a tool without him noticing, she thought, abandoning the idea.

“You didn’t seem to mind on Takodana.” The smirk was back, and she immediately regretted not pocketing the screwdriver so she could stab him in his smug face.

“That was different. I thought you were a smuggler or spice runner. Something I could respect.” Ben snorted at her joke. “I never would have allowed you to speak to me if I’d have smelt the Resistance stink on you.” She leaned against the metal wall, pleased with her feisty comment.

He didn’t seem overly bothered by it, sauntering over to her, his hand pressed against the wall to the side of her head, his large frame overbearingly close. “I thought I smelt nice.”

“You smell like hot oil and sweat.” She lied. He actually smelt amazing, the gentle fragrance of trees and rain and space filling her nostrils as he moved closer. Their eyes blazed as they challenged each other. She could make out every mole from this distance, it was… distracting. “You are such a schutta.”

“Better a hot smelly slut than a cold cruel Chiss.” Ben whispered, his breath brushing over her face. She shivered and told herself it was because of the thought of her future husband, and not because of Ben. “You’ll need to learn to relax when you get married, your lack of charm won’t get you very far, Empress.” He teased.

“I have enough charm.” Her head dropped a fraction lower, their eyes still locked as she peered up at him through her lashes. Her mouth softened, a small gap appearing between her lip as she sucked in a sharp breath, pleased when his gaze dropped to her expanding chest. Her hand fluttered up to his neck, resting on the soft warm skin and she could feel his pulse increasing to match hers.

He knew she was playing with him, but that didn’t stop him from enjoying it, a small smirk gracing his lips as his tongue darted out to wet them. His warm brown eyes were dark and burning.

“Ben…” She whispered, practically moaned, a little pressure from her hand guiding his mouth towards hers, his body moving closer as well.

“Rey?” His lips were a hair width away from hers. She almost felt them move against hers as he asked his question. The air around them had changed, and his bravado had slipped into genuine concern. She was suddenly struck with the memories she had stolen when she was considering him as a lover, the intensity as he thrust into that one woman, the way his hips had sounded as they slapped roughly against the unknown woman’s flesh. Her stomach flipped, her cheeks heating, she had to force herself to focus.

One name, her old name he used so freely, filled with so many unspoken questions. He was asking her permission. Asking if she was serious. If this was real. She had to smirk as her grip on his neck turned firm, using his solid form to leaver herself and pull her knee up as hard and fast as she could until it connected with his crotch.

Watching him groan, crumpling to the ground at the blow, she had never felt so pleased with herself.

Walking away, she called over her shoulder. “Is that charming enough for you?” His pained whine was her only answer.

-

Perhaps it was because she had spoken about Jakku to Ben, or perhaps it was because it was getting close to the anniversary the day her parents died and left her, but Kira couldn’t stop thinking of that forsaken desert planet.

Jakku had boiling hot days, where water was scarce and what little she had available was always dirty and warm. Where, despite the sweltering heat, she had to cover up to stop her skin from blistering under the burning sun. The nights weren’t much better, freezing and the lack clouds made the winds harsh and biting. She was lucky when she found the abandoned AT-AT a few weeks after being alone. It gave her shelter for all conditions, its isolated distance from any Outposts meant she had more safety; being young and weak, it would have been easy for people to take advantage, but it also meant she got lonely. She was young and weak after all… She had cried nightly for months, missing the comfort and affection from parents she was quickly forgetting.

For six years she survived on raiding ships for junk metal and bartering for rations. Half her life at that point. It wasn’t pretty, she had numerous scars to prove it, and if there weren’t scars, the memories were enough.

Then that day when she went to Niima Outpost and saw the men dressed in black, hard scary masks covering their faces, deadly weapons in their hands, she knew she had to run. Other Outposts had been destroyed by marauders like these, and perhaps she could escape before they noticed her. She knew now that her fear had spiked in the Force which let the sensitive Knights detect her, several helmets turning to look directly at her in her hiding spot at the same time.

She had fought, but they were stronger and faster and Rey wasn’t stupid. She knew if she didn’t surrender than they would simply cut her in half with one of their blades when they got bored. Her and three others were taken to their ship. She knew what happened to young women when they were kidnapped like this, but she refused to cry like the others, despite her being the youngest one there.

The next day they had arrived at Exegol and she was presented to the Emperor. He knew instantly who she was, having the other three taken away and executed instantly. She was grateful now that their deaths had been quick and painless.

The Emperor had smiled, his old disintegrating body moving closer to hers, his fingers touching her cheek, cold and weak. She was terrified.

Then she learned the truth.

It was hard to learn. Her parents had escaped with her from Exegol after a particularly horrible attacked from the Resistance. They left her on Jakku to save her, before they went to hide elsewhere. They had made it to safety or so they had thought.

Luke Skywalker tracked them across space, finding and murdering them when they refused to tell him where she was, so he could end the Palpatine line once and for all. His Jedi mission finally complete.

No one had known where her parents had left her, or even if she was still alive. But after years of searching the Force, her grandfather had found and rescued her. Letting her take her rightful place at his side.

She was eternally grateful to him and his training. She would never be weak and helpless again, not with his teachings and the Force at her fingertips.

Which reminded her of her current predicament. The Force. She had been without it for two days now and it was starting to take its toll on her. Her dulled senses made her more irritable, her inability to properly meditate had her on edge, and Ben Solo was driving her insane.

She watched as he moved around the kitchenette. His large form too big for the small space, yet he moved around with an ease that showed how familiar and comfortable he was in this ship. It was his home. Rey felt a wave of envy. She’d never had anywhere that felt like home.

Kira frowned. She had just thought of herself as Rey.

Ben was making it difficult to forget, refusing to call her by her true name, only Rey or mockingly, _Empress_. And the memories of Jakku were bringing feelings of longing she hadn’t dwelled on for years.

Shaking her head, her fingers wrapped around the collar as much as they could, knuckles pressing hard against her throat. She needed to meditate, to clear her mind and refocus on her mission.

“Dinner is served.” The sound of two plates being put down knocked her out of her thoughts.

She glared up at him, her head straining a ridiculous amount as she looked up from his hips that were level with the table, up the baggy cream shirt he wore, slowly reaching his face. She must have looked terrible, concern written on his face.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, his eyes looking at the metal encasing her throat.

“Does it matter?” She countered.

“I can see if I can make it looser.” Ben volunteered. She turned her head to show him the fastening and he sighed. “I think this is as loose as it can go.” He admitted after a moment, his voice low and tender, then sat down.

Rey nodded, feebleness weighing down her shoulders before realising she had done it again. Rey… That name was haunting her. “Thank you for trying.” She surprised herself at how sincere she was being. “I just… I need to meditate.” She explained. He had the Force, surely he would understand the need to ground oneself.

“I can’t take it off.” His jaw jutted out as mulled over something. “But I could meditate with you. Share my Force with you, temporarily.”

Her forehead wrinkled up. “You can do that? Share your Force energy?” She thought energy could only be taken. Her grandfather was only ever been able to take it from her, no matter how willing she had been, she had never been able to _share_ it before.

“I don’t know. We’ll have to find out.” That glint in his eye was back and she huffed, angrily stabbing a chuck on meat on her plate. Trust him to always turn their conversation to flirting. She thought kneeing him in the balls earlier would have deterred him somewhat, but evidently not.

“I would appreciate it. Just don’t start preaching Jedi Code on me.” She said, her mouth chewing as she spoke.

“What’s wrong with the Jedi Code?” Ben asked, curiosity littering his features.

“The endless rules…” Rey waves her hands around her as if her blasé gestures explained her feelings on the subject. “The Jedi think it makes them stronger, but they’re wrong. It makes them unable to adapt, unable to accept those that are different. All those self-imposed codes of behaviour… It makes the Jedi rigid, so they are more easily broken.” She repeated the words she had heard a hundred times over.

“And the Sith? The Knights of Ren? They have Codes too.” Ben reminded her.

“But we still do as we please. It lends us fluidity. We do whatever we need to survive, to triumph.” She felt her grandfather flow through her as she spoke, her tone biting. “The Sith Code are more like guidelines. The Jedi Code are chains.”

“ _There is no emotion, there is peace_.” Ben started to quote, an amused smile on his lips.

“ _Peace is a lie, there is only passion._ ” Kira snapped her reply.

“ _There is no passion, there is serenity_.” Ben chuckled, using the Force to levitate a jug of water over to the table. “What if I told you that you were right. That the Jedi Code is outdated and wrong? Would you believe me?”

“No.”

“Luke knew the legacy of the Jedi was a failure. He built a temple, started training us in the Force but there was a new Code. One that learned from the mistakes of the past. One that taught balance.” She watched as his eyes crinkled slightly, his mouth slowly spreading into a smile as he lifted his bread roll with the Force, it ripped down the middle in a slightly curved S shape, a few crumbles falling and landing on the table.

Ben’s fingers twitched slightly as he made the two pieces float around each other a few times in an unknown dance, Rey’s eyes following them closely, before he continued.

“Light and Dark. They are two halves of the same whole.” The two bits of bread carefully pressed back together, forming a circle again. She had been almost hypnotised by it all, her chest rising and falling in time with his.

“Luke Skywalker would never embrace the dark. He fears it too much.” She hissed, remembering herself, her hand darting out to snatch one half, biting into it viciously. The other fell lifeless to the table with a small thud.

Luke had feared her power when she was a child, purely because of who her grandfather was. Then he made it his mission to hunt her down and kill her. He had failed, but she knew better than to believe he could ever change and make peace with the Dark Side in others.

“That’s not true. He saw the conflict inside Vader, he knew he could be turned, and in the end, he did.” Kira sneered, knowing from her Grandfather exactly what day Ben was referring to. “And he saw the dark inside me. Luke knew acceptance was the only way for me to overcome it.” Ben had a Dark Side? _Interesting_. Kira tucked that piece of information away for later. Perhaps if he had experience with the anger and hatred she felt, he would understand her a little better.

While he seemed to get lost in a memory for a moment, he continued. “He will see the Light in you, the same way I do. You will turn. He will help you.” Ben’s conviction was clear, and it was almost a shame she was going to exploit it.

“Will _you_ help me?” She wasn’t sure why she asked, her voice on the edge of something she couldn’t describe.

“Yes, Rey. Of course, I’ll help you too.” His tone matched his eyes. Warm and kind. She almost wanted to believe him. But he was a Jedi and they could never accept her. She would be tortured by Luke until he got all the information he could from her, then she would be made an example of and killed publicly. Luke may have fooled his nephew, but she wasn’t so naïve.

-

Sleep was still eluding her. She had spent half the night trying to meditate to no success, her mind still a tangled mess of ideas and anger, her emotion frayed and focus completely absent. The other half she had tossed and turned on the lumpy mattress, trying not to think of that one particular memory she had gotten from Ben Solo that involved that very same sleeping quarters and the gorgeous woman he had been pleasuring.

Her legs were restless, and her hands itched to do something. She missed her saber. The weight and feel of it were so familiar, they were a comfort to her when she was on edge. She felt as if she was missing a limb without it.

Laying back, letting her head rest on the pillow, she let out a long sigh. Ben Solo was driving her mad. He walked the line of arrogance and calm support. His faith in her was disturbing, and she tried not to think of him as her hand drifted under the sheet and found the top of her pants.

Her hand dipped beneath the fabric and she ran a finger over her cunt lightly, more curious to see if it would make her any less restless. She was mortified to discover herself already wet, Ben Solo’s memories had really affected her. Her eyelids fluttered closed, and she tried not to see the memories though his eyes as he looked down at where him and that woman were joined, pumping leisurely, or how he had looked shirtless standing a few feet away from her in that very room earlier that day. Her hand increased its pressure, making her head drop heavier into the soft pillow.

Her two fingers teased her, lightly tracing around her entrance, gathering moisture, before moving up to circle her clit, never quite giving herself the firmness she needed, that she craved. Not yet.

She gasped when she touched the little bundle of nerves for the first time, her back arching as she seeked more. Her fingers skimmed over her clit, over and over, and she found herself biting her lip so she didn’t make another sound and risk Ben checking up on her.

Ben. Her mind went back to him, imagining his hand in place of hers. His dark eyes peering down at her, full of that conviction in her she found so frightening. Her hips moved, her buttocks instinctively clenching as she felt herself getting closer, her toes curling.

She whimpered, her other hand clawing at the mattress. Her eyes squeezed shut so tightly she saw stars in the darkness and when she came, tears she didn’t know had gathered quickly escaped.

Breathlessly, she rode out the sensation, her hips still moving slowly against her hand as her walls clenched around nothing.

Kriff. She needed that. Licking her bruised lips, she tried not to think of the pair of pretty brown eyes in the forefront of her mind as she stared at the ceiling over the bunk.

She nipped into the small fresher in the room, washing her hands. Exhaustion finally took over her bones as she sat down on the small lavatory and relieved herself. She lethargically walked back to the bed, her eyelids heavy. She was so tired, she didn’t even notice the door unlocking and opening ajar, Ben Solo peaking his head around to check on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Schutta - Twi'lek insult, it basically means "slut”.
> 
> [Jedi Code](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jedi_Code).
> 
> [Sith Code](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Code_of_the_Sith).


	7. Chapter Seven

The next day passed at a slow pace. They were still a day away from the next hyperspace lane, so Ben busied himself moving boxes around different storage bays, getting Rey to sit in the corner of each room and watch, not trusting her enough to be alone in an unlocked room just yet.

It wasn’t hard, watching Ben sweat, taking off his sweater to reveal a black sleeveless top that had a low curved neckline, much to her surprise. She admired his muscles as he lifted and rearranged the contents of a crate for what seemed like the ninth time.

“I think you missed one.” She said, dryly, after he finished inspecting it and coming up disappointed. He just glared at her, his chest heaving slightly from exertion, his hands resting on his hips as he looked around the chaos he had just made. “Why don’t you move them with the Force?”

Ben stood up straight, his fingertips digging into his hips slightly. A small strand of hair fell into his eyes and she pretended not to notice when he blew it away, his mouth forming a very nice shape as he did so. “Not everything needs to be done with the Force.” He informed her, his voice deep and automatic, like he had said or heard it a million times before. “Why don’t you try and help?”

Kira hopped down from her seat and peered into the closest open box. Perhaps she could find a useful weapon or tool in one of these. The Mirichoker weighed heavily around her neck. The metal and electronics themselves were lightweight and a very stylish design, but her lack of access to the Dark Side continued to disorientate her, both mentally and physically. “What are you looking for?”

Ben sighed. “It’s a remote. About as big as your palm.”

She quirked an eyebrow at him. No wonder it was taking him so long to look in every box, it could be anywhere. “And… what does this remote do?”

“You know, the usual stuff. Has colourful buttons, makes a beep when you press them, activates the Cronau radiation shields.” He spoke quicker as he finished, and she immediately stopped her searching to glare at him.

“You lost the radiation shield remote control?!” She picked up the first random object she could reach and threw it at him. “We can’t go into hyperspace without the shields! We’ll die!” Kira knew the horror stories about Cronau radiation poisoning. The nervous system deteriorating, blood boiling, skin peeling. How could he be so stupid to lose the control that ensured their safety when travelling?! She didn’t filter her anger as she asked him that very question aloud.

“Hey! I thought I knew where it was. Clearly I was wrong.” He held up his hands in mock innocence and she grabbed another piece of metal and lobbed it at him, feeling only slightly better when he narrowly avoided it from hitting his forehead.

“What kind of pilot are you?” She huffed, kicking a box, her anger bubbling.

“I’m a great pilot.” He smirked, picking up the object she had just thrown and walking over to put it back where she had found it. “I’m just not great at tidying.” He admitted and Kira rolled her eyes.

Why did he purposefully wind her up? It was like it was his secondary mission to annoy her to the point of anger or insanity. She pressed her fingers hard into her temples, it relieved some of the pressure for a moment as she inhales and exhaled slowly, before she removed them and continued her very important task of glaring at him.

“We’re going to have to get a replacement.” He said after a while, giving up on the crate he had already searched half a dozen times.

“And where would that be?” She queried, her obvious dislike of the situation littering her tone.

He ran a hand through his hair, his top rising higher on his torso and exposing a strip of pale flesh. Her eyes snapped up his face, cheeks heating.

She tried to regain focus and school her thoughts, thinking of the size and shape the remote should be, and definitely not of him, so if he decided to sense her through the Force he would see that and not anything else.

“From here?” He let out a long stream of air. “I have friends in Cambria which it’s on the way to the Byss Run.”

“No, that means we skip hyperspace on the Corellian Run, it would add another three or four days!” Kira protested, her lips peeling back into a sneer. His failing meant she would have to spend more time _on route_ to Skywalker, time she could have already killed him and been making her way back to Exegol with his head.

“We can’t exactly use it right now.” Ben gave her a pointed look, as if she was being purposefully dense.

“Can’t we just land on the closest planet and steal one?” She reasoned.

“I’m not doing that.” The corner of his lips turned up, as if he was finding her annoyance amusing, and he probably was. “Jedi, remember?” He said, pointing to himself.

“Come on, we both know you didn’t obtain all of this through legal means.” She gestured around the bay at the various boxes, and it was her turn for her mouth to quirk up in amusement.

“Right, Cambria it is.” He ignored her, slapping his hand against his thigh before rubbing it across his jaw, his eyes glancing up and elsewhere as he planned out the route in his mind.

“You are terrible at kidnapping. You are turning this into… into some kind of joyride!” There was a loud crash of metal hitting metal that left a ringing in her ears as she pushed over the crate she was standing next to, needing to expel some of her anger.

Bending at the waist, she screwed her eyes together and screamed. The long and loud sound piercing through the entire ship, letting the rage that had been pent up and steadily building inside her for the last few days out, until her lungs burned from lack of oxygen and her head ached from the volume.

She hadn’t noticed Ben moving towards her until she felt his hand lightly resting between her shoulder blades. She jerked him away, turning her back and crossing her arms across her chest. She didn’t want to see him, or she didn’t want him to see her, she didn’t know, she just needed to create some distance between them.

“It’s this damn choker.” Her hand lifted to claw at the skin beneath the thin metal. “It feels like I’m underwater. My hearing is fuzzy, my reactions as slow, my sense of smell is shot. It’s like there’s this… this big wet blanket wrapped around me so tightly. I’m _suffocating_.” She tried to explain, but she had never been very eloquent. “I can’t think straight without the Force. I can’t meditate. I can’t control my emotions… I just feel empty, numb, without it.”

She was only strong because of the Force. Without it, she was just pathetic.

They stood there in silence for what felt like minutes, but it was most likely only a few seconds. The sound of her heartbeat and the constant dull ringing in her ears the only thing she could hear.

His hands wrapped gently around her and slowly turned her around. Her head was dropped to the floor, avoiding his gaze which she knew would be full of pity, or disgust at her weakness. His fingertips lifted, grazing over her collarbones on his way to touching the choker. His hands were so large they could encase her neck easily, and she was so defeated she let him take the weight of her head in his hands. His strong fingers tilted her so she was looking at him. His eyes were dark, pupils blown, a wrinkle between his eyebrows making his troubled thoughts known. She watched as he blew out a small puff of air from his lips, making them pout out slightly. His eyes dropping from hers to examine the Mirichoker. She almost missed the attention, a fleeting feeling caught her and she quickly looked at anything but him.

She felt the rough pads of his fingers brush over her skin as he reached behind to check on the locking mechanism, and she almost sighed as he thumbs cradling her head delicately stroked her jaw.

Then his hands were gone, and to her shame, she followed them as if he was a magnet, instantly missing the human contact. Instead he was searching for something in his pocket. As she was about to ask him what he was doing when she heard a soft beep near her ear.

He had deactivated the collar. It was controlled by a remote, she noted with interest.

Suddenly she was hit with a wave as the Force returned to her. Her knees went weak and if Ben hadn’t been close enough to support her, she would have fallen to the ground.

She took a deep breath in and it finally felt like her lungs were full for the first time in days. She could feel everything. She cast out her energy and it came back singing with every molecule in the ship. She could even feel the roar of her lightsaber close by. A gasp escaped her lips, her hands reaching to support herself on the only solid thing she could reach. Ben.

As soon as she touched him, she was shocked to feel him so stiff. Her forehead wrinkled up as she brushed against his mind and found the reason behind his tension.

Fear.

He was playing out every possible scenario of what could happen next. She saw herself in his mind, her hand reaching out, summoning her saber to her and impaling him on its deadly red blade. She saw them standing close, her hands twisting with scary precision, his neck snapping to the side, broken. Then she saw them sitting close, their knees touching, their breathing in perfect time with each other as they peacefully meditated.

Kira pulled back, searching his face. It was his turn to avoid her gaze, already regretting his weak decision to turn off the choker. Her heart clenched, knowing how much it hurt when she had succumbed to her weakest choices. She almost felt sympathy for him.

Maybe… Maybe she didn’t have to prove him wrong. Maybe she could play nice.

Slowly, she walked around him to the biggest empty space in the room and sat on the floor.

Crossing her legs, she looked up at him, a small smile spread over her lips as she nodded to the space in front of her.

“Well?” She watched his slumped shoulders straighten. “Aren’t you going to join me?”

He carefully stepped over, taking his time to folder his legs in front of him, their knees bumping awkwardly before he had settled and rested his hands on his knees.

Kira took a moment to let her eyes rake over him, the unfair broadness of his shoulders, the wide solid mass of chest, emphasised by the small dip of his waist. She lingered on those massive thighs before lifting her head to focus.

Almost immediately, and without much effort, their breathing synced. Her eyes had locked with his and she was almost hypnotised by the intensity she felt in that moment. Unhurriedly, they both nodded to each other, closing their eyes and focusing on the Force.

It was amazing, to feel the Force in her body again. She visualised her grip on it, loosening slightly so she could cast it out towards Ben, letting it flow steadily like liquid pouring from a jug.

She could feel his energy as well, as they twisted and turned together, making beautiful patterns as they almost danced. Hers was a little more erratic than his, but she was younger, less trained, and had never done this before, so that was to be expected. She was actually interacting with someone else’s energy! She felt glee rush through her.

She wrapped around a stream of his eagerly. He stayed calm, more controlled, although he did reach out and brush against her cautiously, and she realised he was teaching her.

She was reminded of the polystarch last night. They were the two halves, whirling around to some unknown melody, touching timidly before spinning around again, separate, but together.

She fed off his power, as he fed from hers. It was both utterly overwhelming yet perfectly peaceful, and she had never felt anything like it before. Kira didn’t realise she was smiling, almost laughing, until her tongue darted to out wet her dry lips. All her anger and frustrations drained away as if they had never existed.

Balance, she told herself, comprehending the sensation. This is what balance felt like.

The realisation made her grip on the Force falter, her energy surging and casting out wildly in a blind panic. It was as if the steady pour of the jug had been tipped over and suddenly, she was spilt across the whole ship for him to see. Alarm rose quickly, and she could feel him sense it too. But before she could react and shut their connection down, he surprised her.

He let down his barriers too, and suddenly their whole and completely raw Force were mixed together.

His power took her breath away, and she must have gasped out loud at the beauty of it because she heard the sound, soft in her ears.

She didn’t know who reached out at first, but their fingers were touching, helping each other focus and regulate their energy as it filled everywhere.

She could sense every box in the room, even the ones she wasn’t aware of hidden beneath the floor panels. She could feel the hum of electricity through the ship, the water in the taps, the dirt ingrained in the walls, the heat of the engines, the deadly cold of space on the other side of the ships wall.

Everything was perfect and she wanted to laugh at how beautiful this hunk of junk really was. It was life and death, heat and cold, peace and ferocity.

Light and Dark.

Suddenly she started seeing Ben. His memories seeping through their connection. She didn’t know if he had offered it or if she had reached out, but she could see his life play out before her eyes.

_He was young, running around this ship in the middle of a game with his favourite Uncle Chewie, he was fearful as the Force was too powerful for him to control, his mother and father hugged him and he felt loved, the Jedi Master carefully explained the light and dark to him, accepting both, excitement when he held the lightsaber he had built with his own two hands, telling his Uncle Luke that he had to forge his own path, sitting in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon as the pilot for the first time, returning home when he heard of the Final Orders gaining power, Chewie’s funeral, fighting alongside friends, seeing a lonely girl sitting in a shadowy corner of a bar…_

She tried to look away, but the narrative switched and she was being bombarded with things she already knew, that she had already lived through.

_Her crying as she reached for a ship that was flying away on Jakku, her scratching another line into the walls of the AT-AT, her begging for portions when she had been too sick to hunt for parts that day, her falling to her death in the Star Destroyer wreckage only to be saved at the last second by an invisible force, the next day when the Knights came, the Emperor telling her she was his granddaughter, her training until she was battered and bruised, her grandfather taking her energy from her so she wasn’t as overwhelmed, her shy smiling at a kind guard, his body hitting the ground, her shame as her hair was cut so short she couldn’t even tie it up for training, the Emperor taking more energy from her than usual and TC-44 having to carry her back to her room, her learning about the hurt the Resistance had caused while hunting her down, the roar from the crowd at the announcement of her engagement, the handsome smuggler that could maybe make her feel less lonely even for just one night…_

Then something changed. She felt all the air escape her lungs as new, brighter images filled her mind. They were sharper, more solid. The promise of things to come, rather than the haze of the past.

_Ben looking blissfully down at her in bed, flashes of yellow and blue as they sparred together, his soft smile right before they kissed, his mother’s inviting arms hugging her daughter in law, her and Ben’s naked bodies moving together in ecstasy, his uncle cradling their baby, a white haired man buckling in their daughter carefully for her first trip in the Falcon, their daughter laughing as she used the Force to propel herself up in the air and into her father’s arms, Rey rubbing her swollen belly as she watched._

She pushed herself back violently, scrambling to stand up so fast her back hit a wall, hard.

“What- What was that?” She gasped, her eyes wide and wild as she demanded answers.

Ben stood up more slowly and she could see his hands shaking, as if he had been equally affected by the visions. His eyes were round and wide. He looked as shocked as she felt.

“I… I don’t know.” He stuttered. “It must have been a vision.”

“You! You did that to me!” She accused, hating her voice for trembling, but unable to muster the anger she wanted to feel, having just found an inner peace from their meditating.

“I swear I didn’t, Rey.” His hands were held out in front of him, they were low with his palms directed at the floor, as if he was trying to calm her down. Invading his mind, she could tell he was telling the truth. She pulled away so fast it made him wince, not wanting to believe he wasn’t the cause it all.

“Liar!” She sneered, her arm flinging out, her fingers tense as she wrapped the Force around his neck, lifting him off the floor and squeezing. “You projected false images into my brain in some kind… some kind of Jedi mind trick!” Despite her angry words, she felt light. The Force humming almost joyfully in her veins, telling her the visions were true, that they were a gift for them.

Considering he was being choked, Ben reacted surprisingly calmly. Instead of the flailing hands clutching at his throat that she expected, his arms stayed by his side, his eyes piercing hers as he slowly reached into his pocket. She realised too late what he was doing, and a little beep made her blood run cold.

She dropped him, falling to her knees as the Force instantly was blocked off from her.

There was dull static that filled her ears, her vision blurred around the edges, and all her limbs felt heavy. It was gone again. Defeat sunk into her bones and she slumped forward.

“Rey. That was the future. Our future.” Ben was cautiously walked towards her, not that she blamed him, if she had the energy she would have attacked him.

“What did _you_ see?” Part of her wished that maybe they had seen different things, and yet there was a cruelness to that idea, like the Force had teased her by dangling something impossible in front of her.

“I saw my life.” He had bent down, still an arm’s length away from her, but close enough that she could see his feet in her eyeline. “I saw yours…” His tone seemed sadder and she tried not to let it upset her that it was most likely because he was troubled by her pitiful childhood. Raising her head, she was shocked to see the determination in his eyes. “I saw us fighting on the same side... I saw us together, Rey. I saw us…” His voice trailed off but the slight hue on his cheeks let her know they had seen _exactly_ the same thing.

“We were happy.” She whispered. The words slipped out before she could think about them, and when his throat bobbed as he swallowed, she knew she had made a mistake.

“You turned, Rey. When the times comes, you will turn. You stood with me, on the Light Side. I saw it.” His voice was low, and so full of conviction, she almost wanted to believe him. His eyes were looking down at her, pleadingly. She shook her head.

“No… No, I saw Skywalker. I could never follow him.” She spat. “I would never let him hold-” Her child. Their daughter. She couldn’t even say it.

“I saw it.” He repeated, his fingers twitched, itching to reach out for her but knowing it was her choice to make. “You won’t have to do it alone. I will help you. Luke will help you.”

Bitterness ripped through her at his words. It was all a lie, and Ben had made the mistake of including Luke in it, the one person she could never trust.

She held her hand out firm, all doubt vanished as reality set in. She would not be manipulated by him. And that fake vision.

Their fingers met and she didn’t hesitate as she yanked hard on his arm. He was strong, but he had let his guard down and she was fast. Using his momentum to pull herself up while he fell to the floor, she spun around, to see him looking up at her with wide eyes. She didn’t pause as her foot found its way to his throat, forcing his head back. Standing over him, she looked down her nose at him.

“Your tricks won’t work on me.” She told him, taking satisfaction in the flash of fear that crossed his face as her heel pressed into the tender flesh of his throat, before they softened again. He was pitying her again. He could have used to Force to push her off of him, but he didn’t. He knew she wasn’t strong enough to actually kill him, and she hated that he was right. “I don’t need your help.” She sneered, adding a tiny bit more pressure until she felt his throat bob again as he swallowed.

It would only take an inch more to crush his windpipe, she mused, and yet it wasn’t just an inch. It was a line she had never crossed before. And as much as she hated to admit it, she had become something close to fond of Ben, killing him would only ensure she remembered him forever.

She stayed perfectly still for a moment longer, watching him watching her. Neither wanting to be the first to act. Then, with a huff, Rey turned, her foot leaving his body as she retreated to the sleeping quarters.

“I don’t need your help.” She whispered to herself as the door shut, leaving her alone in the small room, with just the memories of those visions playing out over and over again in front of her eyes. “I don’t need any bodies help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Cronau radiation shields ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Cronau_radiation) \- Shields that cloak a ship to protect it from radiation that is emitted when ships jump through hyperspace. 
> 
> [ Cambria](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Cambria_system) \- A rich planet in the Deep Core. Famous for its wine. 
> 
> Don't forget to kudos and comment!


	8. Chapter Eight

She couldn’t sleep again.

Every time she closed her eyes, the image of Ben and her together in different ways flashed before them, making it impossible to relax.

So, she had spent half the night pacing the small room, and half trying to meditate with no success.

It was beyond frustrating, she moaned as she sat crossed legged, her eyes closed, trying to keep her breathing deep and even. She knew the Force was around her on this ship, she had felt it hours ago, humming through everything in that magnificent way that sung to her, yet now she could access it. It was awful to know something was there, just out of reach, yet be unable to touch it. And now her ankles hurt from where they were pressed against the cold hard floor.

She uncrossed her legs and sighed. Today had drained her, mentally and physically. Rotating each foot in small, slow circles, she couldn’t stop her mind from wandering as she leaned back and let her shoulders rest on the edge of the bunk behind her.

Ben’s Force had been beyond powerful. He had already shown amazing skill, being able to hide his Force signature and suppressing hers that first night they met, and the casual way he had offered to share his Force with her the other day, something even her grandfather couldn’t do. But there was a difference between knowing he was strong and actually _experiencing_ it. Her body had come alive joyfully as their energy mixed and mingled. It was glorious.

He was glorious.

He would be a worthy addition to the Dark Side and the Final Order, she contemplated. Imagining briefly what he would look like on the throne next to her. With her, her mind added, the mental image making her shiver.

Shaking her head, she climbed from the floor to the bed and laid down, letting her head heavily drop to the pillow.

The problem was, she already knew what he looked like by her side. Those visions had left no room to deny that they worked well together, they bodies moving in perfect harmony, in more ways than one. She had tried to convince herself it was all a trick, a method of Jedi manipulation that her grandfather had warned her about, but it hurt to see the family she had always wanted and pretend it didn’t affect her. How had Ben known her deepest desire and used it against her? He didn’t seem that cruel to mock her in such a way, to dangle everything she had wanted but could never have in front of her like that.

No. The image of Ben smiling, his eyes full of devotion. The sound of their daughter laughing. The love she had felt. Deep down she knew it wasn’t a lie. And in the moment, the Force connecting them had shown her that it was all true. As much as she tried to deny it, she knew it was useless.

But she couldn’t let herself want it, not when she knew it would all be taken away once she returned to Exegol. To her _home_ , she corrected herself, putting emphasis on the word. The happiness she had felt, the peace, it was a perfect but impossible moment and it was painful to let herself dwell on it for longer than necessary. It made her heart ache, and even she wasn’t that much of a masochist to keep punishing herself.

Instead she tried to focus on what Ben had told her, scrutinising every detail she could until she could prove he was deceiving her.

He spoke of Luke abandoning the Jedi Code, creating a new, more balanced view on the Light which included acknowledging and accepting the Dark inside all of them. She had scoffed at the time, but seeing it in Ben’s memories, the teachings Luke had given him, she had felt the balance. It would explain why Ben was impossibly strong. Stronger than she thought any Force user could be. Perhaps this 'grey' Jedi was the way to truly hone their powers. She almost wept in relief at the idea, but her brain stopped her. Or perhaps it was also a lie, a part of her that sounded a lot like the Emperor suggested, its purpose to plant a seed of doubt in her weak and impressionable mind.

Then there was what Ben had said about Luke. Everything he had told her matched the man she had seen in his memories, and yet she refused to believe it could be true. Luke was a vengeful violent man. She had been taught of his history, how he had torn down the Empire with the help of those Rebel scum, blaming the establishment that had bought prosperity and uniformity around the galaxy for his family’s ruin. Her grandfather had even shared a memory of a bitter Luke attacking him in the last days of the Empire, his face twisted with rage and glowing with green as he had attacked the Emperor with his lightsaber.

Luke hated the Dark Side, feared it too much, and made it his life’s mission to destroy it.

But the man in Ben’s memories had been kind, and patient. He was accepting of the Dark, saying they were two sides of the same coin. She found it hard to connect that man to the one, who after learning of her existence twelve years ago, hunted down her parents and brutally murdered them.

It couldn’t be, Rey told herself. It must have been another trick. If Ben could plant false visions in her mind, it stood to reason that he could do the same with false memories also.

But they didn’t feel fake. None of it did.

Ben’s lips had felt very real as they pressed against hers.

She turned over in the bed, burying half her face into the pillow as she groaned in frustration. She had to stop thinking like this. Her grandfather was going to punish her for these traitorous thoughts when she returned to Exegol. Even with Luke’s decapitated head in her hands, he would want to know answers and search her mind, not liking what he found.

Letting herself get overcome with lustful ideas, easily seduced by a stranger who had promptly kidnapped her... she had been weak and foolish. She already hated herself for her own stupidity, but that wouldn’t be enough. She could imagine the pain as he ripped her lifeforce from her as punishment even as she promised to never stray like that again, to remain loyal to her future husband and the Sith Code.

Then there was the mission she had been dragged along to with Ben. When the Emperor found out she had helped the Resistance, even unwillingly, she would be branded a traitor. She was thankful of her bloodline, as it ensured her safety, where anyone else would have been executed on the spot for treason, or worse, made to hang publicly to set an example to the citizens of Exegol not to betray the Final Order. No, she would most likely have to endure a different, more personal kind of punishment. Perhaps he would humiliate her, cut her hair or remove comforts like her refresher and bed until she had atoned enough. Or worse, he could take away TC-44. Despite her distrust of the droid since he reported her affair with the guard, he was her only friend. And to see him dismantled would break her more than any physical chastisement her grandfather could do.

Then there were the visions. She wanted to weep in distress at the visions.

Despite herself, she was weak and would not be able to hide her desire for the future she saw. The want of a normal life from her childhood had resurfaced and she wasn’t able to stop thinking of the loving family she had been a part of, even as part of a trap. She wasn’t sure what Palpatine would do when he realised his only granddaughter yearned for another life, no matter how much she tried not to. Perhaps he would lock her away until he had an heir and she was no longer needed. Not that she would notice much of a difference. She wasn’t allowed to leave the Citadel on Exegol anyway, only for training missions, and even then, Palpatine made sure she was not left alone at any point for her safety.

Palpatine? She never thought of her grandfather by his name. It was disrespectful. And yet she had referred to him as that twice in a matter of moments. What was wrong with her?

Rey slowly closed her eyes, her body trembling at what waited for her back on Exegol, and eventually, when her body was too drained to stay awake any longer, she fell into an uneasy, restless sleep.

-

“So, let me get this straight.” Rey said from the co-pilot’s chair where she was currently sitting, legs thrown up on the control panel much to Ben’s displeasure. “You want to change the route _again_?” He nodded, not looking away from the course planner in front of him, concentration written on his features. “So _now_ we’re going to go Pria, a notoriously hostile water planet who don’t like strangers or politics, and by extension the Jedi or the Sith, which need I remind you, we are both affiliated with.” Ben tilted his head an made a small noise of doubt at her words, as if he didn’t believe her allegiance which only annoyed her more. “A planet that is completely submerged in water 10 hours a day due to the tides, and steal a remote from a refuelling station there, reconfigure it to work for this hunk of junk before hopping onto the Hydian Way hyperlane, all to save what, two days getting to Prakith?” She mocked.

The plan was stupid. And dangerous. And they would have a very small window to land undetected on the surface of Pria, then locate an appropriate ship that would have shields similar enough to theirs that the remote would work, then find it onboard and steal it before escaping without locals discovering them and their abilities.

“You can stay on the Falcon if you want.” Ben offered, rubbing his jaw as he hit in the coordinated and turned to face her. They eyes met and he quickly diverted his attention. He was clearly as uncomfortable as she was from the memories of their shared vision.

“And be a sitting duck? No thank you.” She snorted. “Why are you in a rush all of a sudden? Do you really miss your Resistance buddies that badly?”

She was suddenly bombarded with Ben’s thoughts. Him pacing the main corridors of the ship the night before, unable to concentrate, torn between dropping Rey off on the nearest planet and running away, and opening the door separating them and taking her in his arms and protecting her from everything outside. She could feel his anxiety, his fear, his anticipation, his hope.

He was just as scared of the visions as she was, but at least he had the guts to admit to himself he longed for them as well. She felt his decision to get to Luke quicker, so he could discuss them with his mentor, to figure out what they meant. She felt him stressing over different routes, hunched over the dejarik board until he found the best compromise that would get them to his uncle two days faster, even if it meant more risk…

Rey gasped softly, her hand flying up to the Mirichoker instinctively. Had he deactivated it without realising? She looked around the cockpit, discreetly looking for something to test the theory. Finding a discarded datapad on the chair behind Ben’s, she focused on it and lifted a finger. It didn’t move. She tried to send out her senses to pick up on the Force but was met with nothing. No. The collar was still on and working. So why had she just picked up on what he was casting out?

She looked up at him to see if he’d noticed, but his lax smile and aloof posture sitting in the pilot’s chair made her doubt he had.

“The question is, why aren’t you in a rush? I thought you wanted to get back home. Or are you afraid you’ll miss my company?” He gave her a lopsided smirk that didn’t reach his eyes.

Rey turned her shoulder to him and looked out at the vast blackness and stars in front of them. “No. You’re right. The sooner we can get to Prakith, the sooner I can leave and get home.”

There was a long silence and she knew Ben’s gaze was burning into the side of her face. Focusing all her control to keep her mouth in a tight line, she refused to look at him. She didn’t want to give him the opportunity to talk to her willingly. He was the enemy here. If he wanted to talk, so be it, but she wasn’t going to encourage him any longer.

Finally, he sighed. “That isn’t a home, Rey.” His voice was tender, it surprised her. So much so she turned her head to see him looking forlornly out at the stars she was just staring at. His profile was striking in the low light of the cockpit, the starlight reflecting off his pale skin and making it almost glow. “Exegol isn’t your home. Palpatine… What he has done to you… that isn’t what having a family is. That isn’t love.” She watched curiously as he turned to look at her. His dark eyes warm and gentle. He looked sad for her, but there was no trace of pity, only empathy. Like he really cared.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She tilted her chin up and away from him, but it was too late, he had turned his chair to face hers, and leaned forward until they were eye level. She would have felt intimidated if he wasn’t acting so nice to her.

“I saw it, Rey. What he does to you, stealing your power, forcing his way into your mind, humiliating you as punishment, that’s not what a grandfather does to his granddaughter. It’s abuse, Rey.” She snorted but he continued. “You may be grateful for him saving you from Jakku, but the pain he’s inflicting on you isn’t gratitude. It’s torture.” Ben reached for her hand, but she pulled away, glaring at him.

“He’s helping me.” She spoke far too quickly.

“He isn’t. He isn’t taking the extra Force energy from you for your sake, he is sucking the life from you and using it for himself, can’t you see that?” She tried not to think of the way the Emperor’s skin always looked plumber and less waxy after he had helped her maintain control. How his powers seemed more violent and deadly the few days that followed one of their training sessions. If her excess Force energy helped heal the Emperor, so be it, she told herself.

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand.” She whispered. She didn’t want to do this, not now, not ever, and especially not with _him_.

“You don’t have to suffer because of him anymore. Come with me. Join me. I can help you. And then maybe-”

She cut him off. “And then what? We can live happily ever after like those little visions you filled my head with? You are far more naïve than I thought if you think that could ever happen.” She let out a laugh but continued, trying not to let his fallen face distract her. “I know my duty. I know my place. You should learn yours, Jedi.” She spat the last word at him as if it disgusted her.

“But that duty is a lie, Rey!” Ben was letting his emotions rule him and it was making his desperate. _Good_ , Rey thought. “Your place isn’t with him. He’s lying to you!”

“And Skywalker is lying to you!” She said with conviction. “We are both living the lives our family chose for us. Without my grandfather I would be dead on that remote shithole, a dirty and famished corpse, or worse.” She shuddered at the memory of the women sitting on laps, trading their skin for portions. “I owe him more than you can imagine. An arranged marriage is a small price to pay compared to scavenging and starvation.”

“And is a life of enslavement and loneliness any better?” Ben countered, his hand coming up to her face, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. She flinched. “Is your happiness so easily discarded?” His knuckles grazed her cheek as he moved away.

“I don’t pretend to know what that feels like.” It was strange to admit out loud that happiness was something she had never truly experienced. Relief, yes. Gratification, sometimes. But never happiness. She tried to remember the closest thing she could think of that could be classed as ‘happy’, the memory of finding a secret container in a sleeping quarter that contained ten portions was probably it. It meant she didn’t have to worry about surviving the next sandstorm and missing those vital days of collecting scrap metal.

Ben looked devastated at her admission. His mouth falling open slightly, his eyes looking glassy as he absorbed her sad story. He recovered quickly, his jaw clenching in an anger she had not seen in him before. “Don’t you see how wrong that is? You deserve more than he can ever give you.”

“And what is that, Ben? Freedom? We both know with Palpatine blood running through my veins I will never be free. There will always be people who want me dead, many of them are your allies. And my grandfather’s loyalists won’t stop hunting me down to take his place.” She pointed out, she wanted to push herself out of the chair, to storm around the cockpit like a caged animal, but it would have shown her upset, her distress. So, she stayed put, letting him lean in close as she spoke the truth quietly. “What can you really offer me, Ben Solo? What ‘better life’ can you really give me?”

She didn’t realise his hand had returned to her cheek until she felt his thumb stroking the curve of it. His eyes soft, a tender smile appearing on his lips as he tilted her head to face his more.

“You know exactly the life we would have together, Rey.” The vision invading her mind, she pushed it away. Ben must have seen her conflicted emotions, moving closer. “I know it scares you. It scares me. But you know it’s true. You know we could be happy.” His belief was unwavering, and it terrified her how openly he was admitting he wanted the things in those visions to be real. For them to be together.

It would have been so easy for her to close the distance between them, let their mouths press against one another’s and see if it felt the same as it did in the visions. But she couldn’t. Despite deep down knowing the truth in them, he was right, she was scared, because it seemed impossible. Her whole life was planned out and yet the future the Force had showed them seemed the furthest thing possible from the life she expected. It didn’t make sense to her. What happened to make her change so dramatically?

She moved until she was a hair’s width away from him, her whole body trembling as she caught his eyes. “You will take me to Prakith, I will kill Luke Skywalker and then return to Exegol, where I will finish what my grandfather started.” Ben’s lips parted in a silent gasp at her words ad her eyes dropped down to take it in. “I will destroy the Resistance, restore the Empire, and one day rule the galaxy as Empress.” She watched as his eyes widened at the bitterness in her tone. “That is my future, Ben Solo.” And to mock him, she pressed her mouth against his slack one in a hard kiss. There was no tenderness in it, only cruelty.

Pulling away, she was surprised it didn’t feel as satisfying to watch him pale as she thought it would as she turned to leave. In fact, it almost made her feel nauseous as she made her way to the sleeping quarters and shut the door.

Her hand quickly found the fresher door button, falling to her knees she bent over the bowl and waited for the sickness to pass, her stomach convulsing but nothing coming up.

She didn’t know how long she had waited until she finally sat on the floor, staring at her reflection in the mirror.

She didn’t look like herself anymore. The cold mask she hid behind on Exegol was gone. No, now she looked exactly how she felt. Scared. And utterly lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Pria](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Pria) \- An aquatic planet in the Core Worlds. I have taken some liberties and added the tide element to it. 
> 
> [ Hydian Way](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Hydian_Way/Legends) \- A large hyperlane that extends from the Outer Rim to the Core.
> 
> Don't forget to comment and let me know what you think! And come find me on twitter: [LadyReyio](https://il.ink/LadyReylo)


	9. Chapter Nine

“I have a bad feeling about this.” Rey said as Ben landed the Millennium Falcon on the boggy terrain later that day.

They had a short walk to get to the nearest refuelling station where they would hopefully be able to scope out the ships waiting and find the owner. Ben would then compel them into giving up their remote and they would soon be on their way. Simple, Ben had explained, the air of cockiness was back in full force and there was no sign of how their previous conversation had affected him.

Well, if he could pretend everything was fine, so could she.

She had insisted on going with him, dressing in the dark clothes she was used to, the collar hidden under a scrap of red fabric he had found for her. He still wouldn’t allow her to carry her lightsaber or any other kind of weapon, but she was resourceful and could easily find one if the occasion called for it.

And the dingy food and cargo dining area they entered once they had landed certainly looked like she might need some protection.

It was dark, the metal walls damp and rusted from being underwater the majority of the time. It stank of fish and Rey winced as her boot stood in something slimy. Looking down, she kicked off the green plant that had wrapped its way around her ankle.

“I’d prefer drowning to staying in here.” She muttered under her breath, Ben’s soft chuckle let her know he’d overheard.

“Stay close.” He reached out and held her hand, plastering a wide smile on his face as he beamed down at her. Their cover was unpretentious. A couple traveling between Humbarine and Loretto to visit family, and just needed to stop off to grab supplies before entering hyperspace. And as much as Rey hated letting Ben wrap his arm around her, she knew it was the simplest covers that drew the least amount of attention. Even in a dump like this. “And don’t do anything stupid, Empress.” He leaned down to whisper in her ear like a sweet nothing between lovers.

“Turn off the dampener.” She tilted her head towards him and smiled sweetly as he guided her to a booth that gave them both a good view of the people in the dining area and the ships on the yard across getting refuelled.

“No.” His smile widened, revealing his slightly crooked teeth, his eye crinkling around the edges that made him look carefree despite the risk of them being there. A server approached and Ben ordered them both the same drink. “You okay, _sweetheart_?”

“You didn’t have to order for me. I can speak for myself.”

“Funny, I can’t imagine you speaking up against anyone.” He said offhandedly, then ran his fingers through his hair and she narrowed her eyes at the gesture, making sure her smile stayed in place.

“You don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

“Whatever you say.” His aloofness was infuriating her. She wanted him to react to her, but he wasn’t giving her anything, his cool exterior not letting on to how much, if at all, she grated him. “What do you think of that one?” He said in a hushed voice, and subtly pointed at a YX-1980 space transporter.

Rey glanced before shaking her head. “It’s too old. The radiation shields don’t run on the same frequency as ours.” Ben nodded, and she suddenly realised he was testing her. The smug bastard already knew that. “Let’s stop wasting time, the YT-1400 freighter on the left is the best option. Use the Force and figure out who it belongs to so we can get out of this dump.” She slumped back on the metal bench, the wetness from it seeping through the shoulder of her shirt.

Ben seemed put out by her shutting him and whatever game he was playing down, but he just sighed, scanning out and locating the pilot. “Kriff. I know who’s ship that is.” He covered his eyes with his hand, obscuring half his face from the rest of the room.

“What? What’s the problem?” Rey asked, panicked at his sudden change in demeanour, but she didn’t get her answer as a male voice called out from across the dining area.

“Solo?” Rey’s eyes widened as she saw a man approaching them. He was tall, a little shorter than Ben, and not quite as well built. And a good few years older if the bags under his eyes were any indication. His face was chiselled, with a square jaw, a straight nose and high cheekbones, but what made his stand out in the dimly lit room was his hair. A shade of electric blue she had never seen before. She looked over at Ben who was currently forcing himself to stand up and greet the stranger.

“Lifehold, you son of a blaster!” Ben’s voice was enthusiastically friendly given the way he had reacted a few seconds earlier. The two men clasped each other in a hug and Rey raised an eyebrow silently at it. “How long has it been? How are you?” It clicked and she realised the reason Ben had acted so concerned. That ship belonged to an old friend.

“Don’t pretend you don’t remember!” They both laughed at an unspoken joke. “And who is this lovely young lady, Solo?” Sparkling green eyes met hers and she tilted her head at Ben, wondering if he was going to stick with their cover with the sudden change of circumstance.

“Dannen, this is Rey, my soon to be wife. Rey, this is Dannen Lifehold, pain in my ass.” Rey tried not to choke as Ben introduced them, plastering a fake smile on her face and standing up to shake the new man’s hand. He grabbed it, bringing it to his lips and ghosting them across the back.

“Pleasure to meet you, Rey.” They all sat down and Rey grunted when Ben sat next to her, his hip budging her into the booth further. “So, fiancé? I never thought I’d see the day Ben Solo settled down.”

“Love changes people.” Ben commented then threw his arm around Rey’s shoulders. “Isn’t that right, _sweetheart_?” Rey cringed at the pet name he had chosen for her, but quickly turned it into a grin. She made a noise which she hoped sounded like agreement.

“What brings you to Pria?”

Ben and Dannen talked for a few minutes, Rey tuning them out as she looked over at the freighter out of the window. They needed that remote for their shields, and she was going to be damned if they left here without it.

“Ben, honey?” She made her smile sickly sweet as she looked up at her pretend fiancé.

“Yes?” He seemed bemused at her calling him that, but played along.

“I’m not feeling well. I think I’m going to wait in the Falcon.” He raised his eyebrow at her, he obviously didn’t like the idea of her leaving alone, but he nodded, leaning down until his lips were a breath away from her ear.

“Take my satchel. I’ll keep him distracted for ten minutes.” He pulled back and made an effort to look adoringly at her. “I’ll meet you back at the Falcon then.” Ben smiled and let her out of the booth, his hands lingering on her hips as she moved past him.

Hurrying across the refuelling yard, she carefully dipped under ships to hide from the customers in the diner. It wasn’t until she reached the YT-1400 that she opened the bag and to find the tools she’d need to break in, but instead found something far more interesting.

She knew her lightsaber hilt anywhere. She had built it from scratch, spent days drawing and redrawing it before painstakingly assembling it over and over again until she got it just right. She knew the weight of the metal in her hand, the ridges and smooth sides against her fingers, the resistance of the switch to ignite it and the perfect twist of wrist to lock and unlock its hinge, turning it from a double bladed sword into a long double ended staff. Lifting it out of the bag, she felt like a lost part of her had been returned.

Then a glint of metal caught her eye. Another lightsaber. It must be Ben’s, she mused as she looked down at the shiny hilt. It was a single blade, she could tell from the size of the hilt, it wasn’t big enough to support two blades. And the light metal was contracted by the black lines at the bottom of its grip. It looked old fashioned, yet new. Either it was based on the old Jedi designs, or it was from the Order era and maintained fantastically over the years. She wanted desperately to take it out and look over it in close detail, but she was running out of time.

Breaking into the freighter was easy, it helped that Dannen was as cocky as Ben and left it unlocked. Then it only took ten seconds searching the cockpit to find the compartment where the Cronau radiation shield remote was supposed to be kept, and much to her relief, as she picked the lock the hatch opened to reveal the small box. Perfect.

She tucked it in the satchel and began to make her way out down the ramp when she was spotted. Ben and Dannen were running over to her, the older man a few steps closer, his blaster raised. Rey’s eyes widened but soon recovered enough to jump off the ramp, her feet pressed firmly into the ground as she readied her stance, lifting her lightsaber ready to switch it on and deflect any shots directed at her.

“No!” Ben yelled, clearly not wanting her to draw attention to them by openly having a lightsaber in a well known Force unfriendly planet, but it was too late. Dannen had shot at her and a streak of red pierced the air as she swung to move out of the way and redirect the beam away from her and into the hull of the ship.

The energy crackled next to her ear as she savoured the power she felt wielding her weapon. Kriff, she had missed this.

Dannen was getting closer, but Ben had caught up with him, his hand outstretched, and then the blue haired man crumpled to the ground, as if all the life had left his body.

Rey blinked at the scene in front of her, Ben picking up his friend and carrying him the rest of the way to his ship before disappearing up the ramp only to return a moment later on his own, the ramp lifting to close and seal the ship from the water levels that were about to start rising.

“Rey…” Ben held out a warning hand and she shifted her feet. He may have the Force, but she had her saber. With a wicked smile, she swung, knowing she was too far for the blades to catch him. As she did so, the bag around her shoulder flapped open, the contents flying out towards Ben, his hands catching and wrapping securely around the remote control in his left and his lightsaber in his right.

Ap’Lek had consciously put her in situations before, so she could swiftly analysis and come to the right strategic decision that led to the best outcome for her. And while Rey’s lightsaber was powerful, it was not as powerful as a Force user with his own, so she did the best thing she could to ensure her survival.

She deactivated her lightsaber and ran.

Spinning on her heels, she bolted through the yard and into the cover of the wet marsh. Large bulky plants allowed her to stay hidden as she darted through them. She could hear Ben chasing her, shouting her name, half panicked, half angry, but she didn’t care. The adrenaline was pumping and she knew if she could get ahead of him, find another public place, she could ask for safety from the ruthless Jedi that wanted her dead. She was already planning the moment she would start crying for sympathy when she found herself at a dead end, a boggy lake surrounding her on three sides.

Looking up, the blue-green sky was darkening and fast. She looked around, a flash of blue back where she came from confirmed Ben was close. So, she steeled her shoulders, tucking her saberstaff to her belt and started to head forward, the water quickly rising to her waist.

She had never swam before. Growing up on Jakku where water was scarce, a puddle was a luxury, let alone a lake or ocean. And when she had arrived in Exegol, it was so deep underground that flowing water was reserved for bathing and cooking, not recreational swimming. But she understood the premise, kick the legs to push, and swing the arms to pull through the water. It was so easy children could do it.

And yet, a few feet from the land that water was quickly swallowing her, and Rey was struggling to stay afloat. Her arms were flailing, her legs heavy under her. She was sinking. No, she was drowning. She panicked, her mouth bobbing above and below the surface as she tried to stay afloat.

“Ben!” She called out without thinking before her mouth filled with water causing her to cough and splutter as some went down her airway.

She could just make out the blue glow of his lightsaber as he reached the edge of the rising ocean, it deactivated and Rey lost focus on him as water stung her eyes, her head dropping under the water fully, her legs futilely trying to find purchase on the bottom.

It was so dark underwater, and then she realised it was because her eyes were closed, squeezed shut to keep the dirty water out. Her ears were full of water, disorientating her with distorted sloshing sounds. Her arms lashed out, trying to cut through the crushing waves and find the surface again but failed. She didn’t know if she was even facing the right direction anymore.

She wanted to cry out for Ben again but couldn’t.

She was such a reckless idiot. This was the exact stupid thing Ben had told her not to do and now she was doing to die because of it. All because she was stubborn and wouldn’t play the good little hostage role for him.

Something wrapped around her, making her jerk. But whatever it was had more strength and control in the water than she did and she suddenly found herself being dragged upwards, her head pushed above the water.

Her lungs burned as she sucked in a large breath the moment she reached fresh air. Her arms intuitively wrapping around the solid form for safety and after she had a few seconds to recover and collect her wits, she looked over to see Ben’s face inches from hers, one arm around her as the other pushed through the water keeping them both afloat.

She wanted to groan, regretting her idiotic choices that led to him saving her life, but she was so overcome with relief in that moment, so thankful she wasn’t drowning, she pulled herself closer to him, her arms tightening around his solid shoulders as she pushed her face into his neck, wanting to cling on to the thing that offered her safety. The man who had saved her.

He froze for a moment, probably stunned at her out of character actions, before his arm around her waist squeezed harder, and she could feel his nose bump the side of her head as he… was he hugging her? Rey didn’t understand, but it was over as quickly as it had begun and it only took a minute before her feet could touch the mossy bed of the sea again. But she didn’t let go.

She told herself it was because she was still unsure in the water, that the tide was rising fast and could overpower her again, but is she was honest with herself, it was because it felt… nice. He was warm and comforting. His pale skin a stark contrast to the wet black hair that was stuck to his forehead and the side of his face, dripping with water. His dark soaked clothes clinging to every muscle as they walked out of the water and collapsed on the shore, their backs flat on the damp boggy grass, their chests heaving at the exertion.

“Rey…” Ben said roughly, his breathing still laboured.

She let out a shaky breath, her hand running over her hair, pushing it out of her eyes. “I know. That was stupid-” She didn’t finish her sentence as Ben rolled to face her, his arm reaching for her, his hand clutching at the back of her head and pulling her to him.

His lips pressed against hers. Their wet mouths meeting in an insistent and bruising kiss. Her eyes went large and round as she let him kiss her. His mouth was warm, and soft, she noted. And she could feel his strong fingers shaking as they touched her hair.

The groan that left her was almost inhuman as he pulled away, flopping back onto the ground as if it hadn’t happened. It lasted less than a second but left her utterly dazed as she watched him, eyes still wide.

“Rey, just… just shut up.” He exhaled, his hand coming up to cover his closed eyes.

She didn’t know what to do, so she sat there awkwardly, propped up on her elbow as she watched his chest rising and falling, his face etched in annoyance. She felt guilty.

Guilt turned into frustration. Then frustration into anger. How dare he be annoyed with her! He had kidnapped her, taking her prison on his ship, forced her to go on two little escapades which she knew were far from legal, and he was annoyed at her for trying to make a run for it?! She was the one who should be annoyed!

They walked back to the Falcon in silence, the sky dark and water reaching their knees by the time they reach the ship. The adrenaline had worn off and the cold had seeped into her bones, making her muscles tense from shivering.

They sat in the cockpit, both still sopping wet, as they took off. They would wait just outside of Pria while they reset the remote before making their way to Ruul and getting on the Hydian Way hyperspace lane. At least that is what they decided that morning, she didn’t see why the plan would change.

Rey waited until they were just out of the atmosphere before standing up and making her way to the sleeping quarter, slowly peeling off each layer of damp clothes and dumping them on a wet pile on the floor as she sniffed. She didn’t care if she used all the hot water, she stood under the stream until the tears stopped.

Then, hair still damp, dressed in the comfy clothes Ben had provided her with for sleep, she headed to the kitchen area, her lightsaber clutched in her hand.

Ben didn’t look up from his datapad as she approached, only glancing up at her when she placed the metal saberstaff on the table, the small sounds of metal clinking against metal the only noise in the room.

His deep brown eyes looked up at her tenderly, as he reached out to take the weapon, putting it out of her reach by his side. He seemed to accept her apology, her peace offering.

“Rey…” His voice was barely a whisper, like he didn’t know what other words to say.

“Don’t.” Her fingers curled into fists, her breathing ragged as she gave away her only advantage, letting herself become vulnerable to him. It was harder than she thought it would be. “Thank you. For today.” She didn’t have to say it, they both knew what she meant. “I won’t do anything like that again.” She hesitated, her eyes dropping to the remote control, there was a bit of seaweed or moss stuck in the inside of it which suddenly seemed far more interesting than meeting his intense gaze, afraid of what she might find there. “I promise.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him consider her words before nodding.

“Goodnight, Rey.” He finally said, his voice gruff with exhaustion. She didn’t correct him.

“Goodnight, Ben.” She left, and it wasn’t until she reached her room that Rey realised she hadn’t thought of herself as Kira all day. In fact, she hadn’t _felt_ like Kira since before those visions…

She tried not to think too hard about it as she closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but something deep down told her that something had changed, that she had changed. And she knew Ben was the reason behind her sudden identity crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Humbarine and Loretto – Two planets in the Core that are close to each other. 
> 
> [YX-1980 space transporter](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/YX-1980_space_transport) \- A popular space transporter, especially with smugglers.
> 
> [YT-1400 freighter ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/YT-series) \- A light freighter, made in Corellia, a newer model in the same series as the Millennium Falcon.
> 
> [Dannen Lifehold](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Dannen_Lifehold) \- A humanoid smuggler, around twenty years older than Ben. 
> 
>   
> Don't forget to comment and kudos! 
> 
> And feel free to follow me on twitter and other platforms: [here](https://il.ink/LadyReylo)!


	10. Chapter Ten

“Kriff!” Ben’s large hands slipped again as he fiddled with the small tools. The insides of the remote scattered out on the table in front of him.

Rey rolled her eyes as she chewed on her breakfast. “You’re going to break that if you’re not careful.” She commented dryly.

“It’s already broken.” Ben muttered in defeat, his fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

He wasn’t wrong. The remote wasn’t designed to be submerged in water, so when Ben had run into the rising tide on Pria the day before to save her, he had inadvertently fried the little controller in his pocket at the same time. She felt bad, it was her fault after all, but him jabbing it wildly as he tried to unscrew a small pin to replace a wire made her cringe. Any moment now he was going to slip and break the circuit board, something way beyond their skills to fix.

“Give it here.” She reached out and batted his hand away, deftly taking the screwdriver from him while pushing her bowl out of way so she could lean over and examine the remote control. Chewing on her lip, she tried not to think about how close he was sitting next to her, how his warmth was radiating off him and into her side. “How much coil do you have left?” She asked, using a pair of tweezers to remove one of the blown ones.

“About this much.” He said glumly, lifting a piece the length of her small finger. She sighed. That wouldn’t be enough to replace all of these blown ones.

“How many days are we away from Cambria?” She asked after a few more minutes, leaning back in the booth, resigned that the control was unsalvageable.

“Two.”

“Then I guess you need to get in touch with your friends.” She announced, dumping the broken control onto the table with a clatter, all care gone now she knew it was beyond repair. Ben seemed to hesitate at the prospect. “What?” She practically barked at him. That was his original plan anyway, why was he suddenly so unhappy about going?

“Rey…” He was using that tone again, the one where he was warning her, like she couldn’t be trusted. She hated it. “These are good people…”

“And you’re afraid I’ll what? Kill them all in their sleep?” She gave him a pointed look at how ridiculous he was being. Ben sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“They have kids.” He said quietly and Rey’s back instantly went up. Did he really think that badly of her? That she would use innocent children as leverage, or worse? She knew she had shattered whatever small semblance of trust they had developed over the last six days, but last night, when she gave up her lightsaber, she thought he had understood... Did he not realise how hard that was for her?

“I won’t hurt them.” She muttered, her eyes dropping to the floor. She knew she was a liability; she had even gone out of her way to make herself more of a nuisance to him, but for the first time she actually felt bad about her behaviour.

“I know you won’t. But they don’t.” She felt a fraction better at his faith in her. “They are… they are part of the royal family, heavily guarded. If anyone realises who you are, who I’ve bought into their home, they would consider it treason.” Ben explained and Rey quickly realised why he was so unsure about taking her there.

“I’ll behave.” She promised, hating how feeble she sounded, all because she worried he had thought she was some kind of monster. Why did his opinion matter so much to her all of a sudden? “We can use a cover story. I’ll stick to it.”

Ben raised an eyebrow at her willingness. He considered it for a while before relaxing in his seat. “Fine. Fine. I’ll contact him.” Rey nodded and began to put back together the broken control just so she had something to distract her. He was lingering, and Rey knew that meant he wanted to talk about something else, something uncomfortable.

She threw a glare at him. “What?” Her grandfather always scolded her for her poor manners. No matter how many lessons she had on etiquette, she could never quite shake the rudeness she learned on Jakku to survive.

“Rey… Look…” He had an air of awkwardness to him. His hip slightly cocked to the side, his hand on the back of his neck as he loitered. If she wasn’t desperately wishing he would leave, she would have appreciated how attractive he looked, biting the edge of his bottom lip, his forehead crinkled up in worry. “About yesterday, I’m sorry I… That I…”

“That you saved me from drowning?” She volunteered, being purposefully obtuse.

He sighed before continuing. “I’m sorry I kissed you. I know you-”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She interrupted him. He tilted his head but wouldn’t look away from her, their eyes challenging each other as she lied and he silently questioned if she was really going to. After a minute of them just staring, Rey’s eyes hardened, insisting her lie on him. Ben’s shoulders sagged a little and he turned away without another word, leaving to contact his friend on Cambria.

She relaxed as soon he turned down the corridor, not realising how tense she had been.

Of course she remembered him kissing her. How could she forget? How easy it had felt. How reassuring it had been. His relief and frustration and desire all mixed together in that simple press of lips against hers. It poured from him and she knew if she had the Force she would have been completely overwhelmed by his emotions.

It was unlike anything she had ever felt before. And she was almost hurt when he tried to apologise. Did he regret it? Did he not want to kiss her again? She sighed, realising finger tips were ghosting over her bottom lip as she thought about it in too much detail and pulling them away as if they had been burned.

“It’s done. Contacted and course changed.” Ben said, returning and making Rey blush at being caught daydreaming. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. He grabbed a mug from a cupboard and filled it with caf, sitting back where he had earlier with an air of cool, his demeanour totally changed from before. “Now we have two days to go over Cambria culture.”

Rey groaned, letting her head drop onto the table. She hated these kind of lessons.

-

The next two days passed in a blur of lessons on Cambria’s history, politics and culture, helping Ben fix things around the Falcon, which seemed like a never ending job on the old ship, and eating. In the evening they played dejarik and Ben tried to explain the rules and tactics of reading ones opponent, where as Rey preferred to make wild, and often poor, decisions that were impossible for Ben to predict which drove him mad. Rey found frustrating him was a much more entertaining game than the one they were actually playing.

“Why did you do that?” Ben’s fingers were massaging his temples as he stared at the move she just made with such incomprehension, she had to hide her smirk as she took a sip from her cup. “What are you planning?” If she admitted she didn’t actually have a plan, she wondered if his eyes would pop out of his skull. “I don’t understand!” He explained after a minute of confused silence. Rey just laughed and shrugged, giving him a taste of his own cockiness for a change.

She inevitably lost. He managed to fork her three times in a row after a series of impulsive and just bad choices on her part, but she still enjoyed the game.

And then they said goodnight. Rey lingered at the door as she watched him set out a pillow on the floor by the kitchen. It didn’t look comfortable at all and she was tempted to tell him just to sleep in the bunk next to hers, but decided against it. It would be far too dangerous having him that close.

That night as she turned over, waking on the edge of consciousness, she felt Ben’s arm flung over her hip, his large hand spread over her flat stomach, pulling her back flush against his body. In her sleepy state, she wriggled her body closer to his, causing him to stir, a groan escaping his lips. Turning her head, she was about to shush him when he was suddenly gone.

Rey sat up quickly, looking down at the empty space she swore Ben should have been.

Laying back down, she pulled the blanket tight over her shoulders. It must have just been a dream, she decided. Closing her eyes, the heat of his body still lingering as she drifted back to sleep.

\- 

Rey had never had a welcoming party before. When the Knights of Ren had taken her from Jakku with those other girls, they had been blindfolded and shoved off their ship, The Night Buzzard. Then all other planet arrivals she’d had were in disguise or covert.

So, she wasn’t sure what to expect when they arrived on Cambria that morning, but it was not a flurry of people waiting in the landing bay, royal guards dressed in deep blue lining each side of the four people standing patiently, majestically in the centre as her and Ben disembarked and made their way towards them.

The man, who stood half a head shorter than Ben, was wearing a pale blue suit, which emphasised the bright blue of his eyes and smooth tan skin. His mousy brown hair was pushed back on his square forehead, and charcoal painted the rims of his lids, making his eyes practically glow in contrast. His wife, a blonde woman with a heart shaped face and even more elaborate eye makeup, stood poised at the Prince’s side. And their two daughters, who looked almost identical to their mother with slightly rounder faces and brighter, curlier blonde hair waited next to her, their hands clasped in front of them politely.

They were all wearing slightly different shades of pastel blue coloured gowns that matched their eyes perfectly, and Rey remembered Ben talking about their belief that the eyes were a window to the soul, so the fashion on Cambria was all designed to emphasise their beauty and bring out the colour of them. The makeup suddenly made sense, although she was surprised that the young girls faces were clear from any alterations.

Rey suddenly felt underdressed in her black trousers, tunic and boots. She looked over at Ben who was also wearing black and inched closer to him subconsciously.

“Ben Solo. I was thrilled when you got in touch. It has been far too long.” Ben bowed his head but they didn’t shake hands. Rey had also learned that was their custom, no one was allowed to touch until ones whole family had been introduced, to show respect for them as a whole entity, not individuals. It was nice. To think of a family as a unit, a team, not a hierarchy.

“Indeed. Los, this is my lover, Rey.” Rey knew they were doing the couple cover again, but she wasn’t expecting it to feel so intimate when Ben’s deep voice called her his lover. Her cheeks heated and she was glad she could bow her head to hide it for a moment. “Rey, this is Los, my good friend, and this is his beloved, Anly. And his two children, Atla and Lori.” Rey lowered her head at each of them and finally Los and Anly broke from their formal positions and enveloped Ben in a hug. The two girls, who couldn’t have been older than eight, hopped on their toes, until their parents let go of Ben and he bend down on one knee to try and be closer to their much shorter height. They jumped on him, nearly knocking Ben over as they wrapped their arms around him, squealing in delight.

“Hey girls. You’ve both grown so much!” He laughed, pushing both their faces into each other’s in an overly familiar gesture. The girls giggled, their rosy cheeks looking chubby where they were pressed together.

“I’m taller!” Atla announced, and Lori shoved her slightly.

“But I’m better at fencing!” Lori bragged.

“Are you now? We’ll have to see if you dad will let me train with you both.” Ben’s eyes crinkled up as he smiled, showing his teeth and Rey was taken back by how carefree and genuinely happy he was to see these people.

Rey didn’t realise she had been standing awkwardly a few steps behind him until Anly placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “It’s lovely to meet you, Rey.” Her voice was warm and gentle, and it had an almost ethereal quality to it.

“Likewise.” Rey tried to remember what Ben had said about what to do after the introductions, but was coming up blank. “You have a beautiful family.” Rey said, hoping it was okay, and with the way Anly’s eyes lit up, she knew it was the right thing to say.

“I do. We are very blessed.” Anly agreed as they both watched Los and Ben pick up one of the girls as if they weighted nothing, and start to carry them toward the palace. “I’m sure you will soon be blessed as well. Ben must be an excellent lover to have.” Rey almost choked at Anly’s comment before reminding herself that here the word lover was used similar to boyfriend, or partner. Instead, Rey gave the older woman a tight-lipped smile and nodded, hoping the noise she made sounded like agreement.

“He is.” She was grateful for the distraction when the men waved them over and they followed into the palace.

“We have known Ben since we were all children, and he has never bought a lover to Cambria. We were quite surprised when he spoke to Los and told us he was bringing you.” Despite her words, Anly spoke in a calm and even tone. It was extremely regal and Rey imagined this is what Palpatine wanted her be like as an Empress.

“I’m sorry. We would not have bothered you if we were not-” Rey started to apologise but Anly’s hand closed around hers, making Rey pause. She had never held hands with a friend before.

“It is no worry at all, Rey. I am elated to have you here. I look forward to getting to know the woman Ben has chosen more closely.” She tried not to wince as she swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. She understood now why Ben had been so hesitant about bringing her here. He was deceiving his friends and even she felt bad for lying now she had met them. She didn’t expect them to be so… nice.

They were shown to their room and encouraged to settle in before lunch, and when the door closed, Rey let out a breath she didn’t realise she had been holding.

Ben walked to the edge of the bed in the centre of the room and sat on the edge. The heels of his hands pressing into his eyes.

“Los already has a replacement control sorted. His engineers are aligning the frequency and testing it as we speak. We could make an excuse and leave-” Ben started and Rey frowned. It seemed he was having second thoughts as well.

“It’s okay. They… they are nice.” Rey assured him, crossing her arms over her chest, feeling defensive about admitting she liked them. “We don’t have to go unless you want to.” Ben looked over at her. His dark eyes desperate for a reason she didn’t quite understand. “I mean, it’s a little weird, them calling me your lover and all that, but you told me that beforehand so I should have expected it.” Her candid admission made him chuckle.

“Wait until they ask about the sex.” Ben commented dryly, making her mouth drop open.

“The- the sex?” She hated herself for stuttering, images of Ben pushing into her flashed before her eyes before she could stop them.

“They are very straightforward here. I told you that.”

“You told me they respected family and celebrated children. You didn’t tell me they… they actively encouraged the act of _making them_!” Rey felt scandalised as her cheeks heated. “What are we going to do?” She asked, suddenly panicked.

Ben just shrugged, which only made her apprehension increase. “I don’t know. I’ve never been in this position before. They usually just pester me about getting a wife, I think they don’t quite believe it either.” He stood up, and walked around the room, examining one of the many trinkets it was decorated with.

Rey scoffed, pointing a finger at him. “I am _not_ your wife.”

Ben smirked, stalking over to her, his own finger raised as he got closer. “Not yet, _lover_.” He practically drawled and winked at her, knocking his index finger against hers in a small duel. Rey gasped, whipping her hand away and stepping back, her shoulder blades hitting the door behind her.

“No. No sex talk. Tell them I’m- I don’t know, tell them it’s not done where I come from. It’s against my principles.”

“It’s one day, Rey. You can pretend for one day.” Ben’s lopsided smirk was still in place. “Am I really that bad to imagine being intimate with?” Against her will, the images from the vision invaded her mind again and she squeezed her eyes shut.

“Fine!” She snapped. “One day. But no touching.” Her hands made grabby motions as if it explained how touchy feely Anly had been with her and how uncomfortable it had made her.

Ben held up his hands. “No touching. Unless you ask.” He promised, making her scoff.

“Trust me. I won’t be asking.” Then she looked around the room. “And I’m sleeping on the floor.” She stomped over to the bed and threw a pillow and blanket down next to it.

“Whatever you want, Empress.” Ben practically sung.

“And no pet names.” She hissed, sitting on the floor and closing her eyes, focusing on her breathing as she tried to meditate and ground herself.

Ben didn’t reply, and she heard him leave the room and the door to the refresher closing, soon followed by water running. He must be having a bath, she noted and returned to counting her breaths, ignoring way her belly twisted at the knowledge that only a door separated his naked body from her.

This day was going to be hell, she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Cambria](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Cambria_system) \- Most of the stuff I'm writing about Cambria culture and politics is made up, but it is a real planet in Star Wars, I'm just adding to it ;-P 
> 
> [Dejarik ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Dejarik) – Space chess! There is one of these boards on the Millennium Falcon, you can see a picture [here](https://i.imgur.com/jY7QBjc.jpg).
> 
> [The Night Buzzard ](https://www.starwars.com/databank/night-buzzard) – The Knights of Ren’s ship. 
> 
> \-----
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please feel free to leave a review, I love reading them and promise I will get back to you :-) 
> 
> And find me on twitter [here](https://il.ink/LadyReylo)!


	11. Chapter Eleven

Lunch had been incredible, the best Rey had ever had. It was a light spread of delicious but tiny foods in a room made of glass. The sun had been streaming in and she relished in its rays as she politely munched on food, wishing she could put more than one in her mouth at a time. She had caught Ben looking at her a few times and quickly straighten her back, suddenly embarrassed she had been caught enjoying the warm sunbeams or the luxurious food.

“You must try our wine.” Anly insisted, holding a glass of clear liquid with a hint of pale yellow to it. 

“Oh, thank you, but I shouldn’t.” She didn’t want to cloud her brain, especially when her senses were already dulled thanks to the Mirichoker Ben was refusing to take off. Not that she blamed him. If their roles were reversed, she wouldn’t have trusted him either. And now she had met Atla and Lori, she knew why he was so adamant that she behaved while on Cambria. 

Ben clearly adored those girls. If there wasn’t a moment he was talking to Los, he was looking around the for them, chasing them around much to the frustration of the guards, picking them up and making them scream in delight, or using the Force to entertain them, making forks float or peeling fruit in front of their eyes. Rey had to admit, it was rather sweet to watch their interactions, however childish and silly they were. 

“He will make a wonderful father when you are blessed.” Anly said, her eyes held a knowing glint. 

Blessed. That was the term they used for when a couple had children. She was quickly getting used to their slightly different phrases. 

“Uhuh.” Rey kicked herself for sounding so ineloquent as she took a glass of the wine previously offered and took a sip. It was sweet, but had a sharpness to it. Like syrup but lighter, she mused. “Wow, this really is delicious.” She commented, changing the subject. 

“Thank you. We are known across the galaxy for our wines. That one in particular is a favourite of mine.” Anly brushed Rey’s hair over her shoulder, leaning closer. Rey had to tell herself not to tense. The language Rey was getting used to, the casual touching, not so much. “I do not mean to make you shy when discussing Ben. I am only happy to see him so captivated with someone.” 

“Oh.” Rey didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to lie but she was left with little choice, Los and Anly seemed genuinely happy that Rey was there, it was sad to know it was all fake. “You… you really think he’s ‘captivated’ by me?” She asked after another sip of wine, using Anly’s word felt weird, but she was trying. Is this what women talked about? Rey racked her brain trying to think of the last time she spoke with another woman, let alone about men. 

“Did Ben tell you about our belief? That eyes reveal one’s true self?” Rey nodded, suddenly self-conscious of what Anly saw when she looked into hers. “I see the way he looks at you.” As if to prove her point, Rey looked up to see Ben staring at her and Anly over Los’ shoulder. The corner of his mouth turning up as he listened to whatever the shorter Prince was saying. “Exactly the same way Los looked at me before he asked me to become his beloved.” 

Beloved. Another term they Cambrian used. It meant husband or wife. Rey put the glass down, suddenly feeling sick. If only they knew. 

“How… how did you know?” Rey asked, hating herself to sounded so timid. “How did you know Los was the right person?” 

Anly’s smile grew wider. “There is a special moment when a pair of lonely eyes find home in another’s.” Rey mind instantly conjured an image of Ben’s. How warm with empathy and kindness they were when he learned about her sad history, how they could burn with passion when they argued, how bright they shone when he spoke of the Force. She could find comfort in his golden-brown gaze, Rey mused, understanding Anly’s meaning, even if she was wrong. 

“I’m not lonely.” She lied. 

Anly tilted her head, a small line creasing between her perfectly sculpted eyebrows. “I wasn’t talking about you, my dear.” 

A small gasp caught in her throat as her head whipped around to look at who the older woman was referring to. 

Ben was laughing at something Los was saying now as they looked at the two young girls sat at a table together. His eyes had crinkled in the corners, his smile was easy and open, he looked… he looked happy. Rey wondered if maybe Anly’s observations were correct, if maybe she could be the reason behind this change and this relaxed version of him. Maybe in the last week, her and Ben had managed to find something they didn’t realise was missing in each other.

Rey’s gaze dropped as if she had been caught looking at something she shouldn’t have, and she supposed she had been. Daydreams, she scolded herself, these thoughts were just daydreams. And nothing comes from foolish fantasies, she thought over and over again, ignoring the way her chest constricted when Ben caught her eye one more time, his carefree smile brightening a fraction as she smiled softly back at him, lifting her wine glass in a small gesture of sociability. 

After lunch they all retreated to the courtyard outside, and Rey took a moment to fall behind the party to close her eyes and tilt her head upwards slightly to bask in it, relishing the warmth of the sun as it heated her face gently. It had been years she had had the chance to step into the sun like this, and while she hated Jakku, she found she missed the comfort of the sun after many years of living below ground on Exegol. Taking a deep breath, warm fresh air filled her lungs and she felt every bone in her body relax. 

Opening her eyes slowly, she noticed Ben looking at her from across the grassy courtyard again, observing her actions closely, a large hand covering his mouth, fingers dragging slowly over his lips. His pupils blown wide as his eyes burned with an unknown intensity that heated her further. Or maybe that was the sun, she told herself and she quickly walked to catch up with Atla and Lori. 

“Are you a Jedi as well?” Atla asked, her hand reaching over to grab at Rey’s at her side. Rey wasn’t sure she would every get used to the casual contact, but nevertheless let the young girl take hold of it, her larger fingers gently curling around the young girls. 

“No, I’m… I’m not a Jedi.” Rey admitted. 

“But you have the Force thought, right?” Lori butted it, grabbing at Rey’s other hand so she was practically being dragged along with path by them both. 

“I… I don’t actually.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. She didn’t have access to the Force _right now_. 

“Then why do you have a lightsaber?” Atla asked, her eyebrows pinching together in confusion.

Rey’s mirrored the little girls expression. “Who said I had a lightsaber?” She asked. 

“Ben did.” Both girls replied at the same time, causing Rey’s head to whip back and forth between them. 

“He said you could join us in training later.” Lori continued and they soon reached where their parents and Ben had stopped. 

Anly had her arm hooked in Los’, a gesture Rey would have considered submissive and yet she looked just as independent and strong as if she were standing on her own. In fact, as a couple they radiated power and stability. A rogue thought infiltrated Rey’s mind as she wondered if that is what her and Ap’Lek would look like when they were married. No. He would keep a respectful distance from her, as Empress she held more power over him. Her grandfather had made it clear that she would have no equals when he was gone. Ap’Lek was to be an advisor to her, not sharing the title of Emperor, his strategic mind utilized to guide their armies and win the war, but she was the one who would command them. Her role was to be a lonely one, a pillar of strength. Strong and unrivalled. 

“I… It wouldn’t be a good idea to give me a lightsaber. I… I can’t be trusted with something so dangerous.” Rey tried to ignore the cautious look Ben gave her, waiting for her to say something wrong that he might have to jump in and recover from. “I’ll probably hurt myself.” She clarified awkwardly. “I’m not very good.” Ben raised an eyebrow, amused at her statement. “I’m sure Ben just meant I could watch you train later, didn’t you Ben?”

“Yes! Please come watch Ben train us! Please?” Both girls continued various forms of begging until Rey agreed, unable to stop smiling at their insistent behaviour. Shortly after they both ran off to get ready and changed into the sparing gear and Rey was left to linger. 

“Forgive us, they are very excitable.” Los apologised, the laughter on his face clearly showing how unbothered he really was at his daughters’ enthusiasm. 

“No need to apologise. They are lovely.” Rey insisted, plastering a fake smile on her face as she continued. “I hope one day Ben and I can be as blessed as you are.” She mimicked Anly and tucked her hand into the crook of Ben’s elbow, leaning into him slightly. She didn’t turn her head to look, but she could feel him turn, peering down at her, probably wondering what she was doing. 

“I’m sure you will be. Although the girls are a handful enough, I cannot imagine raising a Force sensitive child!” Los chuckled at his own comment and she felt Ben tense under her hand for a moment before relaxing. 

“We’ll manage just fine.” Ben’s voice was low and gentle. It felt like warm honey as it trickled through her, so close to her ear. 

She turned her neck to look up at him, a smile she couldn’t control gracing her features, and was perplexed to see him gazing down at her, his expression soft with a contentment she didn’t understand. She wished she had the Force so badly at that moment, so she could peer inside his mind and see exactly what was causing that look, so full of peace and directed at her. 

Perhaps it was being in the company of Los and Anly, a couple that exuded love and happiness, and them pretending to be a couple. Perhaps it was the lingering imprint of the vision, where her and Ben played with their children much the same as he played with Lori and Atla, but she was suddenly overcome with the urge to push herself onto her toes and press her mouth to his. 

His brow furrowed, as if he picked up on her impulse, his gaze dropping to her lips briefly before he turned back to his friends, clearing his throat as if whatever had just fleetingly transpired between them hadn’t happened. If it wasn’t for the knowing glint in Anly’s eyes, Rey would have convinced herself she had imagined it. 

“So, tell me, Ben. How goes your hunt for the Final Order?” Los asked, obviously wanting to discuss it but waiting for his daughters to not be in earshot. Rey paled, her fingers biting into the fresh of Ben’s arm at the unexpected question.

“We do not need to talk about that.” Ben insisted quickly. 

Los seemed to notice her unease and quickly went to reassure her and Ben. “Do not worry, we are all friends here and the courtyards do not have ears. You have our planets sympathy to your cause.” His words did not ease her discomfort. “And I would like to know of the Resistance’s progress. We must all be prepared.” 

Anly nodded in agreement. “We fear for our people, as many other systems do.” Her kind face looked tense with concern as she looked between her and Ben. “Knowing more would allow us to make sure we are doing the best for our people.”

“The Final Order are a threat, it is true.” Ben said after a moment, choosing his words carefully. “They have had a small, but firm hold on the Unknown Regions for many years. And while it seems the planets most affected by the dismantling of the Empire are slowly making their loyalties known and the Final Orders influence is growing, I have hope this will all end soon.” Rey searched his face, unable to tear her gaze away from his as he spoke with such knowledge and a diplomatic seriousness that she was not used to seeing from him. 

“No offence, Ben, but we cannot take hope to the King and Queen.” Los retorted. “We have an army, we have ships, we need to know if an attack is likely. If we need to prepare our resources.” 

“Ben is right. The Final Order are only targeting the systems that lost the most thirty-five years ago, they are using the residual bitterness to convert them and gather more allies before they will consider an attack or hostile takeover of any system.” Rey had to keep her eyes trained on the couple in front of her as Ben’s eyes bore into the side of her face. She knew she had just freely given intel on the Final Orders strategy; information Ben probably already knew but hadn’t been confirmed, but she liked Los and Anly, she didn’t want them to worry unnecessarily. “They aren’t strong enough to attack the Core Worlds yet.” She said with a small nod. 

Ben’s fingers brushed against her temple under the guise of tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, but she knew what he was doing. She forced herself to relax and bring the information he was after to the forefront of her mind as he brushed the edge of it lightly. She let her head drop to the floor as she felt his gratitude for her confirmation. To any external observer, it would have just looked like a small, affectionate moment between two people in love. A tender brush of hair, a shy seeking of physical contact. But she knew the truth. It was a betrayal of her grandfather. One she would pay dearly for. And yet hearing the laughter of Lori and Alta running back into the courtyard, their wooden sparing swords in their hands, Rey found she didn’t mind the eventual consequences, not if it meant this family could live a little while longer in peace before the inevitable changes the Final Order would bring. 

“Excuse me.” Rey tore herself away from Ben and made her way to the edge of the courtyard where a small fountain was trickling. She needed to be alone for a little while and review what had just occurred. 

“I’m sorry. She… she’s lost a lot because of Palpatine.” She heard Ben explain as she walked away. 

She watched the water flow over the uneven rocky surface, its gentle splashing helping her clear her mind and calm her conflicted emotions. 

Ben wasn’t wrong. She had lost a lot because of Palpatine. 

It was petty, but she had lost Jakku because of him. When she was stolen away, she didn’t even get the chance to collect her things, only the clothes she wore and the staff attached to her back her only keepsakes from her years on that desert planet. Not that she wanted much reminding, but still, she had worked hard to make that AT-AT her home. And she had spent credits and gone days hungry to get herself the extra parts she needed to build that half-finished speeder which had been abandoned. That was what she had been most angry about when she had been taken, someone else’s grubby hands taking apart her hours of work for their own benefit. 

That wasn’t true, she told herself. Her little rebel pilot doll. That was what she missed the most. It was a pathetic thing, something she had crafted when she was eight or so, a few scraps of orange and white cloth she had found in one of the cargo containers, that she had fashioned into a vague shape of a person using string. She had called her Captain Rᴂh, after the name on the helmet that she had adopted as her own, and used to imagine them exploring the sand together, finding lost rebels and getting them back to their ships so they could return to their families. 

She had stopped playing with it after it was clear Captain Rᴂh would never save her. But she had kept the doll as a comfort anyway. Her only companion in that AT-AT. 

Then there was her childhood... Sure, she had grown up a lot on Jakku by the time she had been rescued at twelve years old, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still want the chance to play, to make friends. But as the Empress, she wasn’t allowed friends. No one was good enough, and befriending those lower than her was a sign of weakness that could be exploited in the future, her grandfather had taught her. 

She watched as Lori and Alta entertained each other, their wooden sticks bashing against each others as they went over fencing stances. Just one friend would have made her time on Exegol a little happier, a little less lonely…

Los and Ben had gone over, two guards producing adult sized wooden practice blades for them and now they were demonstrating to the girls different positions, the different advantages they gave and variations of the attacks they already knew. Then letting them try, giving little bits of feedback and encouragement as they tried again after failing the first time.

Why couldn’t she have had that? Rey spent years on Jakku wishing for a family, dreaming of what it would be like, and Palpatine was never what she would have expected. There was a loud cheer as Lori managed to disarm her sister using the new move, Los had rewarded her with a massive hug, lifting her tiny feet off the ground and spinning her around, while Ben knelt down next to the fallen Atla, whispering words of reassurance. 

Rey had wanted what was in front of her. Inspiration, praise, support. Why didn’t she deserve that? Why wasn’t she allowed to get affection like what Los showed his daughters? 

Rey closed her eyes, two hot tears streaming over her cheeks that she furiously wiped away. 

She was a Palpatine, she reminded herself. She had a duty to the Sith, to the Final Order and to the New Empire. Frivolous things like warmth and praise weren’t meant for her. She had to be above those fruitless niceties if she was to rule the galaxy. She had to be stronger than that. 

Straightening her back, she realised with horror the mistake she had made. She had, in a moment of compassion, treasonously provided confidential information to the Resistance and its allies.

This must have been part of Ben’s plan. To bring her here, play on her sympathy and weaken her defenses to make her slip up. No, she wouldn’t let that happen again. She had to get a message to Exegol, to tell them her plan to infiltrate the Resistance, find out information before killing Skywalker. And in a palace like this, it shouldn’t be difficult, there would be comms everywhere. She wouldn’t let herself waste the opportunity. She wouldn’t let Ben take advantage of her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Cambrian Wine](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Cambrian_wine) \- A fine wine, known over the galaxy. Lando Calrissian drinks it in a comic so it is canon! 
> 
> [Rey’s AT-AT](https://i.imgur.com/77q30PO.jpg) \- From The Force Awakens, this derelict AT-AT was where Rey lived, ate, and cleaned up the junk she found that day. 
> 
> [Rey’s Speeder](https://www.starwars.com/databank/reys-speeder) \- Made from scavenged parts on Jakku, Rey was planning to restore this to the working order you see it as in The Force Awakens, but Palpatine and the Knights of Ren found her before she could finish fixing it.
> 
> [Rey’s Rebel Pilot Doll](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Alliance_pilot_doll) \- Again, canon from The Force Awakens, this is the little doll seen in the background of her home. 
> 
> [ Rᴂh’s Helmet](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Dosmit_R%C3%A6h) – And again, canon from The Force Awakens, this is the helmet we see [Rey wearing](https://i.imgur.com/AUvXn9h.jpg) alone one night on Jakku. It has “Rᴂh” written on the side of it, pronounced “Rey”, and is most likely how she named herself after being abandoned on Jakku.


	12. Chapter Twelve

“Come, join us.” Los insisted breathlessly, holding out his wooden blade for Rey to take. The prince’s forehead was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his tan cheeks flushed pink with exertion. While the man was clearly in good shape, he was no match for Ben Solo.

Los passed her, dropping the hilt in her hand, before returning to where his children and his wife sat on the chairs that has been placed at the edge of the grassy area for viewing. Anly cradled his face affectionately and kissed his lips quickly, a small sign of affection as she comforted him despite losing. They then turned to watch her and Ben circle one another slowly.

Rey quickly tied her hair up in a messy bun to keep it out of her face before welding the blade into an opening stance. It felt good to have a weapon, even a practise sword.

“We don’t have to, Rey.” Ben said, offering her a chance to stop before they started.

Rey rolled her shoulders, the prospect of a good fight energising her. She rolled the handle around in her palm, getting used to its weight. Twisting her wrist, the sword speedily and effortlessly twirled at her side. It was shorted than her saberstaff, but she could work with this.

“Afraid, Jedi?” She hissed at him, quiet enough that those watching couldn’t hear. Ben’s eyes widened slightly before narrowing.

“Just giving you the chance to back down before you get hurt.” His confident mask was in place, his arms loose as he twisted his neck to both sides, stretching out the muscles there. When their eyes met again, he had the audacity to wink.

Rage filled her.

She let out a growl as she charged him, embracing her frustrations, her stick held up in a straight vertical line as it met his. Wood connected with wood hard, a loud smacking sound echoing through the open space. Ben turned, using Rey’s speed against her as he easily sidestepped it, forcing her to spin around suddenly in order to face him. It was sloppy of her.

As she spun, she twirled the blade over her head and went to strike the side of his head, but he was fast, faster than she was, his blade already up to meet hers before it could reach him. There was another loud smack of wood hitting wood but Rey didn’t pause. Her wrists twisted as she spun the hilt in her hand, spinning the blade around in the other direction before striking at his ribs. He may be quick, but she could be quicker.

He jumped back, narrowing missing the end of the sword and there was a smattering of applause in the near distance as the family watching cheered her on.

Her smile was wicked as she stalked closer to him.

They changed pace. Both going for a series of rapid hits, instead of the heavy blows they have just exchanged, until they were panting.

Ben flipped his blade so it was pointed behind him and Rey only had a second to question what he was doing before he turned, his back facing her as he drove the thick wooden stick towards her with more power than she knew she could handle. Her hand instantly flew out to use to Force to stop him in his tracks only to remember she didn’t have access to it. She panicked, ducking a second before it was too late, but his blade still grazed her fingers and she yelped in pain.

Ben turned back to face her, his eyes wide in fear, obviously he wasn’t expecting her to do that.

Rey shrugged, trying to not let him notice her misstep. “Yield yet?” She asked, looking down at her sore knuckles, shaking them before wrapping them around the handle again.

“Rey-” He sounded concerned, she noted. Good.

She charged, blade high. She knew exactly what she was going to do. The Force may not be with her, but her years of training with a lightsaber was.

There was a bang as their blades connected, her using her whole body to hit him as hard as she could and she swore she heard a crack of wood splintering. He seemed surprised at her unreserved attack, planting his feet into the grass and matching her ferocity as they both pressed their blade together firmer.

Her injured hand was wrapped around the hilt of her blade in a one-handed attack, and because she had moved so fast, Ben could only react with a one-handed defence as well, his left hand free as he held her off. She saw the moment his opening dawned on him.

He was practically eating out of her hand and if she wasn’t so focused on her next more, she would have laughed.

He would grab the wrist of her attacking arm, like Trudgen had taught her, then both his hands would be tied up so she could let go of her blade, letting it fall effortlessly into her free hand so she could strike, right in his unprotected torso. She knew this move, she had done it a thousand times.

He grabbed her wrist, his long fingers wrapping easily around it. His right hand lowering his blade as he held her in place without it.

She took an inhale while she had the chance, replaying her next move one last time.

She felt Ben stiffen a second before her fingers relaxed their grasp on the handle, and as if he had read her mind, she watched in horror as he discarded his own weapon, his right hand coming between them and grabbing hers mid-air before she had the chance to catch it herself.

With a flick of his wrist, the wooden pole connected lightly but decisively on the side of her ribcage, and if it had been a lightsaber she would be dead.

She stood, stunned, unable to look away from his face which looked as shocked as she felt. The pressure of the practice blade on her side evidence of her failure. But how had she failed?

He had somehow anticipated her move. He must have read her mind, seen what she was about to do, and then used it against her. Yet she didn’t feel that tell-tale flutter on the edge of her conscious when a Force user used their mind skills on her.

“Rey…” He breathed, his voice trembling with something akin to fear, maybe confusion?

She tugged her wrist out of his grasp as Los and his family approached them, clapping to congratulate them on a good spar.

“That was very impressive.” Los commented with awe. “I thought you said you weren’t good with a blade?”

“I guess I had a good teacher.” She lied by omission as they were quick to assume she was talking about Ben.

“That was incredible!” Atla exclaimed and Rey noticed how her and Lori were looking at her with admiration. She didn’t deserve their approval, didn’t they see that she had lost?

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Ben’s chest heaving, his eyes looked wild as he thanked Los for the compliment, not letting her out of his sight.

“Can you teach me that move where you spun the blade around in your hand?” Lori asked nervously. Rey just nodded, fixing a smile on her face for the girls benefit, before kneeling down to show them both how she did it, guiding them as they tried with their smaller blades.

Los approached her as the girls were practising.

“That was quite the display.” His blue eyes sparkled with mirth.

“Ben is a great fighter.” Rey reluctantly admitted. That was the first time she had used a blade with him, and she while knew he had brute strength, she wasn’t expecting him to be so light on his feet. The Knights, who were equally as heavy as him, were always slower, more violent. With Ben it felt like a dance, him matching her pacing and steps perfectly, each blow connecting at the exact right moment and with the same force. She shivered, the memory of their Force signatures moving together in a similar way.

“As are you.” Rey averted her gaze. “Unlike my beloved, I do not try to meddle in Ben’s love life...” Los subtly moved, positioning himself in front of her so her back was turned to his family. Rey noticed but didn’t say anything. “I do however meddle when I think my family could be in danger.” Her heart clenched as dread filled her and she knew better than to lie.

“I would never hurt your family.”

Los nodded, contemplating her words. “I know. Ben wouldn’t have bought you here if there was a risk to my family. He is a man of honour.” His mouth twisted to the side, as he crossed his arms over his chest, clearly holding back on the questions he wanted to ask. Wagging a finger casually at her neck, he finally decided on what he was going to ask. “That is a Mirichoker, is it not?”

She was glad Ben couldn’t see her face as she gaped at the prince. “It is.” She confirmed.

“I’ve heard rumours. We had even been approached to design one years ago but…” He commented, his hand stroking over his neck, his eyes glancing over her head to where the others stood. “I didn’t expect it to be so… small.” Rey wanted to disagree, tell him it weighed down on her in a way a non-Force sensitive person would never understand, that it was like living with half her chest carved out, but decided against it. Los was after all being incredibly gracious not having her thrown off his planet straight away as a possible threat to the royal family.

“The question is,” Los considered aloud. “ _Why are you wearing one?_ ”

Rey hugged her arms around herself. “I… I don’t want to hurt anyone.” She admitted feebly. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was true. The idea of her hurting those two little girls made her feel sick.

“I understand. I am glad Ben is teaching you how to control your powers.” Rey closed her eyes and sucked in a shaky breath as she nodded. He misunderstood, thinking she was just a Force user who didn’t have a full grasp of her powers, but that was far better than the truth. “You are good for one other.”

“We are…” Rey whispered, looking over her shoulder to see Ben looking over at them.

“I won’t say anything to my beloved.” Los said as they slowly made their way back to the group. “And for what’s it’s worth. I think you and Ben make excellent lovers.” Rey tried to stop the way her belly clenched at the thought.

Ben quickly excused them, stating that they needed to use the refresher and get changed before dinner, so made their way back to the room. Rey spent the entire walk avoiding Ben’s gaze, between her new plan, Los’ comments and their rather passionate spar, her feelings were a mess.

The door shut and locked, leaving them alone.

“I should wash.” She said quickly, making her way towards to other door only for it to slam shut. Turning on her heel, she glared at Ben whose fingers were curled in, having just used the Force to shut it.

“What was that, Rey?” His voice was dangerously low, the simmering confusion turning into a demand as he took a step closer to her, his long legs closing the distance between them more than she was comfortable with.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Stop lying, Rey!” He growled, his arm flying out to point over her shoulder to the window that overlooked the courtyard. “Out there. What was that… memory? Did you mean to transmit that?” She shook her head. “Is the collar broken?” His hands came up and she tilted her head back so he could check the mechanisms.

“I don’t think so.” She tried to push a thought at him, her joy at teaching and watching Lori successfully spin her training blade around in her palm. “Did you get that?”

“No.” Ben mumbled as his fingers delicately moved over her neck. She tried to ignore how every spot he touched set her alight, suppressing a shiver as his thumb brushed over the underside of her jaw. Her eyes fluttered up at him, watching him examine the choker carefully, completely perplexed. “It doesn’t look like its faulty.” He stated, chewing on his bottom lip, his fingers caressing her skin gently.

“I… I think it’s happened before.” She admitted, hoping it would be enough to make him stop touching her before he realised how much it was putting her nerves on fire, an unsettling burn creeping low in her belly, her breathing shallow. “Back on the Falcon. I saw… I saw your memories. The day after…” The vison. She couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. She cleared her throat when Ben stood back, his hands dropping to his side. “I saw you, needing to see Luke, changing the plan to go to Pria instead. I sensed your emotions. I felt your Force even though I didn’t have mine.” She explained.

His eyes had captured hers now, inquisitiveness littering his features, his eyebrows pinched and mouth in a line. “The vision.” Ben breathed. “The Force must have linked us. Bonded us.” He ran a hand through his hair as he blew out a long stream of air, his other hand rested on his hip. Rey could only stare as she mulled over what he had said.

“Bonded? What does that mean?”

Ben shook his head, turning to look out the window in disbelief before looking back at her. “It could be temporary.” He started, as if that would reassure her. “But I think when we meditated, the Force must have sensed something… when it showed us that vision, our future,” Rey tensed at how easily he referenced those images, accepting that they would become reality. “It must have bonded us together. Connecting us through the Force.” His hand waved back and forth at the space between them, as if the movement symbolised a physical string joining them.

“And what? We can now randomly see each others memories?” She huffed, crossing her arms. If he was right, if they couldn’t control when or what the other had access to in their mind, it could be dangerous. They both have secrets they couldn’t let the other know, she reminded herself. She was as much his enemy, as he was hers.

“Perhaps. Perhaps more.”

Rey started pacing, her mind frantic. This was bad. Very bad. “How do we fix it?” She couldn’t let herself become any more compromised that she already was.

“I don’t know, Rey.” Ben confessed. “It could just fade away, with time or distance. I need to speak to Luke.” Ben decided and Rey wanted to scream. Why did he always have to seek out Luke’s advice on the Force? Why did he care so much about that man’s opinion?

“Fine. Whatever.” She knew she was getting defensive, being dismissive of his idea, but she really didn’t want to involve Luke in whatever they had between them. He could use it to his advantage, Rey thought cautiously. He could tell Ben to simply kill her and the connection would be broken, or worse, he could tell Ben to use it and find all the information she had on the Final Order and the location of Exegol. No. She couldn’t let that happen. “But don’t come crying to me if you don’t like what he says.” Rey stormed to the fresher door, slamming it behind her and quickly started running a bath.

As much as she hated to admit it. The visions, this possible bond. It felt personal. Like it should be just between them.

She realised it could be selfishness. An odd sort of jealousy of Luke Skywalker. She had never had a friend before, and while Ben Solo wasn’t exactly her ally, it was nice having a person to be close with, to have a connection, a secret, with. Even if it was forced and temporary. It was difficult for her to understand the jealously that had taken over her at the thought of involving Skywalker in it, even if it was just to find more information regarding it.

Striping out of her clothes and pulling her hair out of the messy bun, she stepped into the tub, lowing herself and letting the hot water ease over her tense muscles.

It was a mistake to come here. Her thoughts and feeling were a conflicted mess and blaming Ben was the easiest thing Rey could do.

Rey.

There it was again. Without realising it she had let herself become the person he wanted her to be. That dead name being thrown around so casually by him, it was easy to revert back to it in her mind. But she wasn’t Rey Nobody. She was Kira. Kira Palpatine. A legacy of the Sith. Empress to the Final Order and the future New Empire. Ben’s constant referral of her as Rey was disrespectful and she suddenly found herself immensely irritated by his insolence.

Maybe she would cut out his tongue for his impertinence, a dark part of her mind conjured. The image of Ben kneeling in front of her on the hard floor of the Exegol Citadel. That black sweater he favoured pulled tight over his chest as his hands were tied behind his back, his creamy skin glowing in the pale light.

She would circle him, her gown flowing behind her on the cold stone ground as she examined him, taking her time to let her eyes rake over his submissive position and take pleasure in it as she twirled the dagger in her hand.

She imagined how his hair would fall in his face as he begged for mercy, promising her and the Order his fidelity. He would make such a wonderful subject, with his psychical strength and his skill with the Force. And his passion, she thought with a smile as her hand dipped into the steaming water, her fingers finding her centre, delicately skimming over the sensitive flesh there, teasing it with the faintest of touches.

Her eyes fluttered closed and she let her head fall back on the rim of the tub, letting herself get lost in the fantasy.

She would tell him to prove his loyalty to her. Ordering him to save his tongue by putting it to better use. Perhaps she would bend down and kiss him, or perhaps she would use the shape knife to cut a long line in the front of her dress, exposing her cunt before stepping in front of him, his face level with it.

She traced two fingers around her entrance, briefly dipping them inside to gather the slippery moisture there, coating her fingers before retreating to her clit, gently circling the tight bundle of nerve endings as she imagined his face pushed firmly between her thighs instead. His nose bumping her mound as his tongue slowly dragged over her slit, tasting her for the first time.

She shivered despite the warm water, her fingers increasing their pressure as her other hand clutched at the edge of the tub for support, her knuckles turning white.

She would position one leg on his broad shoulders for support, giving him all the access he needed. He would obediently lick her, she decided, repeatedly lapping at her entrance and taking everything she gave him reverently. Good, he was meant to worship her, she was his Empress after all.

Her mind wondered how those luscious lips would feel as they kissed her clit, wrapping around it sucking hard, drawing long and throaty moans from her. Rey’s hips bucked in the bath, water sloshing at the sudden jerk. She was close, all the pent up frustrations she had been feeling for the past few days finally having a very different outlet. She started rocking her hips, pushing harder against her own hand as the little scene played out behind her eyes.

She tried to imagine the noises he would make, how it would feel to have that low rumble vibrate against her, his tongue swirling and dancing over her. Her fingers would curl in his hair, pushing him closer encouragingly and he would groan when he felt her thighs start to tremble, his arms pulling against the handcuffs wishing he could touch her.

Rey gasped as she felt herself quickly climbing to the edge, her breathing shallow, her cunt tightening, her muscle tensing further as her fingers furiously worked, rubbing herself until she was dangling… She was almost there.

The image of Ben looking up at her, his eyes dark and wide and utterly entranced as he watched his Empress fall apart, finally tipped her over the edge and her came with a small grunt. Her body shaking as she came down quickly, trying to catch her breath, her eyes flying open.

Her grip on the rim of the bath loosened, her fingers aching from her tight grip, as she wiped them over her face.

Kriff, she didn’t know how much she needed that until now, her body relaxed and sated. Her face flushed from the traitorous thoughts she’d had of Ben and panic took over her. Sitting up quickly in the bath and looking at the door to make sure it was still closed, Ben on the other side unaware of what she had just done.

She had to get control of this. She had to remove herself from this increasingly dangerous game.

Washing all evidence of their earlier spar and her current indiscretion, she tried to formulate a plan. She couldn’t risk staying this close to Ben now they knew they were bonded by the Force. She would get a message to Exegol and get the Knights to intercept the ship just before they arrived on Prakith, making sure they didn’t know where the message had come from to ensure Los and his family’s safety, then she would return home with no Luke, no Ben, only failure.

But at least she wouldn’t be further compromised, she told herself after she had gotten out of the bath and slowly dried her hair. Her grandfather would have to understand why she cut her new mission short, and she would accept her punishment gratefully and with grace.

Yet she couldn’t help the small voice that told her if she simply stayed with Ben Solo then there wouldn’t be any punishment at all…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! And please don't forget to comment and kudos, I really appreciate them and they definitely spur me on to write more. 
> 
> And feel free to follow me on twitter, or support me [here](https://il.ink/LadyReylo)!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. It's been a while. I'm sorry! But I have 12 more chapters written of this, so I am going to post them every week, no excuses! Thank you all for your patience, those of you that are still reading this :-S

With a stroke of luck, Ben wasn’t in the bedroom when she came out of the fresher, dressed for dinner.

She took advantage of the situation and rushed over to the communication panel on the wall by the door. Quickly swiping though the screens until she found the external communication page. The panel gave a short buzz as it refused to let her access. She tapped again, her finger bashing it a little harder, only to be greeted with the same noise. 

Damn it. Ben must have disabled external communications when they arrived. She tried to find the settings but was lock out of them as well. She growled in annoyance, but she shouldn’t really have expected anything less from him. He wasn’t stupid, she had to remind herself. 

She was just going to have to find a different way to contact her grandfather. There were hundreds of these panels around the palace, there is no way he could have disabled all of them, she would just have to sneak away and use one of them. 

Not wanting to lose the opportunity while she had it, she walked around the room, opening the cupboard only to find it empty save their clothes for tomorrow hung up. She pulled at a drawer handle and it pulled open only to find a few bottles of drink. She slammed it shut with more anger than necessary, the bottles inside clinking from the force.

Letting her body drop to the floor, she searched under the bed and triumphally pulled out Ben’s bag. Getting to her knees, she flipped the cover open, one hand searching quickly through the contents as the held it steady. No lightsabers, she frowned and then her fingers brushed something metal. Pulling it out, the corner of her lip quirked up as she looked at the blaster. 

A noise outside prompted her to stop, showing the bag back where she found it, but not before tucking the weapon into the back of her trousers, lifting her tunic to cover where it sat flush against her back.

She ran back to the fresher, shutting the door quietly and waiting for Ben to come back. She didn’t have to wait long. 

She opened the door and walked into the bedroom, toweling her hair for extra effect. She tried to ignore Ben but he was sat on the bed waiting for her. 

“What did Luke say?” She asks quickly as he opened his mouth.

If Ben was surprised by her question, he didn’t show it. “He wants to meet you.” 

“I bet he does.” She practically sang as she walked around the bed to put some distance between them. Him sitting down like that, looking up at her with those big sad eyes, it make her blush at the memory of how she had imagined them looking up at her for different reasons. “The chance to meet Palpatine’s next in line, I bet he’s deciding which lightsaber to bring.” She scoffed, throwing the towel on the bed and crossing her arms. 

“He won’t hurt you.” Ben said as he stood up, turning to face her, his sad eyes flashing with annoyance at her accusation. “How many times do I have to tell you?”

“And how many times do I have to tell you, you don’t know him like I do.” Her voice was low, vibrating with anger. 

“You don’t know him at all!” Ben shouted, making Rey step back. She hadn’t expected such an outburst from him, the volume alone was enough to make her want to cower slightly. 

“I know enough.” She said through gritted teeth. “Can you say, with absolute certainty, that taking me to Prakith, putting me in the Resistance headquarters, in the path of all those fighters, that my safety is a guarantee?” She watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched. “That not one of them, if not Luke, wouldn’t take the opportunity to land such a blow to the Final Order and kill me?” She looked at him pleadingly, deciding to incorporate one last thing into her plan. “It only takes one little blaster…” She trailed off, her words clearly affecting him as he closed his eyes, a pained expression taking over his face. 

“I would protect you.” Ben insisted, his voice practically begging her to believe him. 

Rey walked around the bed until she was only an arm width away from him. “I know you want to.” She took his hand and pressed it to her chest, over her heart, feeling emboldened now she had made up her mind and freedom was close. “But the best thing you could do to keep me alive, is to let me go. Let me go, Ben.” She watched as so many emotions crossed his eyes, each one giving her hope that he might take the collar off and let her leave. “Please.” The words were so quietly, she barely heard them herself. If he let her go then no one would get hurt. “Please.” She begged. 

“I can help you. I need to help you.” Ben whispered, his head bending down until their foreheads were touching, his eyes closing. He was such an idealist, Rey wanted to roll her eyes but didn’t want to risk him seeing and losing this chance. She didn’t need his help, she was perfectly fine with her life at the Citadel. Just because he thought she was being abused and didn’t have to live like that… Well, that was his problem, not hers. “Luke will help you.” His mouth was so close, his breath brushed her cheeks as he spoke. 

She froze. The reality setting in. He was never going to let her go. Not while he though he could save her. Not while he thought she was worth saving. It just took Luke’s name to remind her. She didn’t need saving. Not by him, not by anyone. 

Pushing away from him, she shut down. 

“Don’t.” She flinched as he reached out to touch her. “Just… don’t.”

He had left her no choice, she reasoned, her plan cementing in place. She would sneak away at dinner and make contact with the Final Order. The Knights would find her and slaughter Ben Solo. And she would watch. Watch to confirm just how impossible those visions were. 

\-----

Dinner was more formal than lunch, which Rey did realise until clothes were delivered to their room.

She was used to gowns, her grandfather liked to parade her around in them. But not gowns like this. It was light, breathable, nothing like the stiff dark and heavy material she wore to keep the cold out on Exegol. And it was made up of thin layers and layers of sheer fabric with browns and greens mixed in together, and Rey realised as she ran her hand over it, that they had matched it to her eye colour perfectly. 

Looking over at Ben, who was shrugging on a jacket the exact same colour over his off white shirt, Rey couldn’t help but notice who well they matched. 

They made their way down in silence to greet their hosts. Rey arms crossed over the bust of the gown, self consciously 

Rey didn’t feel so out of place the moment she saw Anly. She wore a beautiful nude dress that hugged her figure, jewels the same shade as her eyes dotted along the chest and working their way up her neckline. Her eye make up was simple, for Cambrian standards, a light brown smattering of colour painted on her top lids, a thin shimmering line of delicate gold underneath. 

They were sat at a grand table made of a light-coloured wood Rey had never seen the likes of before, as servants presented food to them, placing plates for each course in front of her. It almost seemed never ending until Anly announced the final desert before telling the girls nanny to take them to bed so ‘the grown ups can talk over caf’. The girls had groaned but slowly got down from the table, saying goodnight to her and Ben. 

“We will be up later.” Los told the disgruntled girls. “You will not miss anything fun. It’s just boring adult things, I wish I could go to bed as well.” He assured them before they accepted and left with an older woman. 

Then it was just the four of them. Los and Ben turned to discuss something and Rey wanted to lean in when she heard them mention the Millennium Falcon, but Anly started her own conversation. 

“They get so excitable, don’t they?” The blonde woman commented, pointing at the men who were excitedly discussing something to do with ships. “Boys and their toys.”

“They do.” Rey took a little sip from her wine glass, being careful not to let herself drink too much, but enough not to appear rude. “Thank you for dinner. It was lovely.” She truly was grateful for their hospitality. 

“Anything for Ben.” Anly’s eyes crinkled in the corners as her lips turned into a fond smile. “After everything he has done for us.” 

“Oh?” 

“Did Ben not tell you?” She asked, her eyebrows shot up. Rey put down her glass as the Princess leaned forward and began to speak quietly. “Los and Ben have known each other since they were children, their mothers were good friends, you see.” Rey nodded, not sure what this had to do with anything except it explained Cambria’s unwavering loyalty to the Resistance. “When word made its way out that Los intended to take me as his beloved, not everyone in the kingdom was happy. My family… I came from a poor family. We laboured.” Anly explained as if it were scandalous, but by the sounds of it, it was. “Los and I didn’t mean to fall in love, but we did. One day I was working in the palace, redecorating a drawing room, Los noticed me and…” She looked down at the hands in her lap, a small laugh escaping her lips. “He wouldn’t leave me alone until I agreed on a courting meal.” 

Rey took another sip of wine, trying not to let the sweet story invoke any envious feelings in her. 

Anly continued. “We married, we had Lori and Atla shortly after. But the small faction who didn’t agree with my becoming the Queen, my children eventually ruling the kingdom, their hatred grew.” Anly’s eyes, which usually sparkled with life, filled with sorrow. “A few years ago, that small group got into the palace.” Rey’s grip on her glass instantly tightened, her other hand coming up to take the distressed woman’s and give it a gentle squeeze. “They made an attempt on Atla’s life. Luckily for us, Ben was visiting. None of the attackers knew he was a Jedi. He stopped them, but Lori saw the whole thing.” Anly’s delicate finger came up to wipe a stray tear out of the corner of her eye. 

“Ben was amazing. He turned their horrible memories into blurs, so they didn’t feel the fear associated with them. Then he started training them to defend themselves the next day.” Anly explained. 

“That explains why Lori is such a keen fighter. She wants to protect her sister.” Rey mused aloud and the other woman nodded. “I am so sorry that happened to you and your family.” 

Anly smiled weakly. “The men were only a small group, and they are gone now. Ben made sure of it.” Rey looked up to look at him, still engaged animatedly in his conversation with Los. “He is such a good man, Rey. Without him… I can’t even imagine…” Rey reassuringly smiled. 

“Then don’t. They failed and now they are dead.” Rey said, perhaps a little too bluntly, but her anger as these unknown villains was increasing quickly, and Rey was accustomed to anger. 

“You are right. You are right.” Anly sniffed, letting go of Rey’s hand to take a napkin and drab it in the corner of her eyes and under her nose. “I’m just so glad he has you now. He deserves a lover like you.” Anly fixed a bright smile on her face, one Rey was familiar with, it was more delicate than her own, but Rey knew how to spot a mask. 

“He deserves better.” Rey admitted, her eyes watching him across the table, a wave of sadness filling her chest. 

“Nonsense. You are perfect together.” Anly took a large gulp of wine and grabbed Rey’s hand again. “You must tell me everything. I must admit, I have wondered.” Rey’s forehead crinkled in confusion and she suddenly remember the woman with elaborate make up she had seen in Ben’s head that first night, the one who was begging Ben to keep going as his hands explored her body. 

“Oh.” Rey’s mind went blank, her cheeks heating at the idea.

“Oh? That good?” Anly’s smile morphed into a knowing grin. 

“No! I mean, yes?” Rey stuttered. “I couldn’t say.” She finished lamely as Anly laughed. 

“Do not feel embarrassed. Sex is the most beautiful way to honour one another. Ben is a skilled partner, very caring, from what I’ve heard. Although I cannot imagine how being in tune with the Force must change the experience.” Anly sipped her wine as if what she was talking about was perfectly normal, and Rey supposed it was on Cambria. “Los and I engaged in a rather agreeable session just before dinner.” Rey couldn’t stop her cheeks from getting redder as the older woman continued. “We are hoping for more blessings, and I think he was inspired by watching you two together.” She whispered wickedly. 

“I need to use the restroom.” Rey blurted out, standing up so quickly her chair scrapped on the floor. “Excuse me.” She hurried out of the room, not looking back just in case Ben was watching her and would realise what had affected her so much. 

Exhaling deeply, she made her way down the hallway, intending to head to the fresher, until she spotted an open door, the low glow of a comms panel just inside. 

Rey quickly looked around to make sure she was alone, before nipping inside, slowly pushing the door until it was almost closed then rushing over to the screen. She wouldn’t have much time, and if she wanted to disguise original location the message was sent from, it was going to take a bit of time. But it was necessary, she told herself, she couldn’t risk Palpatine sending anyone to Cambria because of her. 

She flicked through the various screens until she found the one she was after, and after spending a minute adding different locations the message would bounce between before being sent to her contacts on Exegol, effectively making it untraceable, she started to write out her message. 

Signing off with her code name, Sunblossom, so her grandfather would know it was her, her finger hovered over the button to send. Her mind momentarily getting away from her. 

Sunblossom. It was a kind of flower. Rey had never seen one in person, but her grandfather had shown her a picture of one in a book when she was younger. His love of flowers and plants was well known, he even spoke with pride of a botanical garden he used to have many many years ago. The fondness in his voice as he told her of the hundreds of species of colourful and exotic plants he once had made her envious. She wished he spoke of her with such esteem. So when he had given her the code name Sunblossom, she had been thrilled. 

It was an odd flower, it grew strong and tall, sometimes taller than a human, with luscious leaves before flowering. Then it looked almost mesmerising, a large black circle that looked almost bottomless, a stark contract to the bright yellow petals that surrounded it, a golden halo around such darkness. Her grandfather had spoken of its beauty and strength, but also its deadliness. From its vibrant petals, an undetectable poison could be extracted, one he had that pleasure of using against his enemies in a time long past.

He had cupped her jaw as he compared her and the flower, and she had let herself get excited at the affection he showed her. Now, as she looked at the word on the screen, the memory coming back so vividly, she hesitated. 

In the six years she had lived in the Citadel, that was the only tender thing her grandfather had said to her, and even then, he was mostly talking about Sunblossom and not so much her. 

He was nothing like Los, she thought with sadness. Los who openly adored his children, who eagerly taught them and encouraged them. In her one day on Cambria she had witnessed a totally different relationship. One based on positive reinforcement, not fear of failure. One where little things were celebrated, and their ideas were listened to and not considered an inconvenience. The anger from earlier rose in her chest and she wasn’t sure if it was at the thought of those girls being in danger or if it was for herself, for never having that connection with her family.   
It didn’t matter which it was, she told herself as she lowered her hand from the comms panel. She didn’t want to go back to Exegol, she finally realised. She didn’t know where she belonged anymore. 

Her message blinked at her, warning her it was unsent as she closed down the screen. 

She made her way to leave, and perhaps if she wasn’t so lost in thought, she would have noticed the dark figure walking down the hallway. 

As she opened the door, she was immediately shoved back inside and pressed against the wall inside. She gasped, her hand flying for the blaster that she had hidden under the many layers of her gown, pressing the barrel of it into her assailants’ side. 

Ben raised an eyebrow at her in a silent challenge and Rey immediately let the gun go, it clattered against the floor, the noise echoing in the dimly lit room. He tilted his head, spotting the glowing communication panel, before looking back at her, his eyes widening at what she could have done. 

“I didn’t!” She quickly said, hating how she had to justify herself to him. “I… I couldn’t.” 

He didn’t reply. Instead he abruptly let go of her to check on the screen to ensure she wasn’t lying. He was right to. She hadn't given him any reason to trust her. Rey stood awkwardly, her hands hanging loose at her side as she watched him work. 

“I was going to.” She admitted. “I had written a message. I even encrypted it so they could never trace it to here… but I couldn't send it.” She needed him to know that she wouldn’t put Los and his family in danger. Not after what they have already been through. 

“I can see that.” Ben muttered, his disappointment clear. He tapped a few times and she watched the panel shut down. He kept his back turned, his shoulders hunched as he took several deep breaths in and out. She didn’t need the Force to feel the emotions coming off him in waves. Frustration. Disappointment. Anger. “Why, Rey?” 

“I had to try-” She started to explain but he cut her off. 

“No. Not why did you try.” He turned his head so he was looking over his shoulder at her, his hazel brown eyes piercing hers in the darkness. “Why didn’t you send it?” His voice was patient, which surprised her given the whirlwind of emotions he was experiencing, and yet he directed none of them at her. 

The air seemed to leave the room as she gaped at him. “I… I don’t know.” And truly she didn’t. Sure, she knew Exegol wasn’t her home, she felt as much a prisoner there as she did with Ben now, but it was the only place she knew. Well, there and Jakku and she wasn’t ever going to go back to that sandy hell hole again. Not if she had any say in it. 

Maybe she was just lonely. Seeing Los interact with his daughter had bought up feelings she didn’t want to think of. Instead of the usual bitterness, there was just a sadness. Maybe it was learning of Ben’s heroics as he protected his friends and their family. It was distorting her already established opinion on him. Her mind was already a mess without the Force to help her focus and compartmentalise, she didn’t need new developments to throw more confusion into her already conflicted feelings. 

“Rey…” He was completely facing her now, taking one large step to close the space between them. “Rey.” He had came up and wiped away the tears she didn’t know had fallen down her face. The wet trails down her face growing cold in the cool room. 

Without thinking, she pushed up on her toes, her hands grasping each side of his face and pulling herself up. 

Her lips crashed against his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! And please don't forget to comment and kudos, I really appreciate them and they definitely spur me on to write more. 
> 
> And feel free to follow me on twitter, or support me [here](https://il.ink/LadyReylo)!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Ben stiffened, as if preparing for an attack, and Rey supposed her suddenly jumping at him could be thought of as such. But then he relaxed, a firm arm wrapping around her ribs and pulling her tight against his body.

His mouth slanted over hers and she closed her eyes as their lips moved together.

It was like he was searching for something, desperately seeking an answer in the kiss, and Rey didn’t mind at all, parting her lips slightly when his tongue skimmed across the seam of her mouth. He tasted like Cambrian wine from dinner, she mused as they deepened the kiss.

“Rey…” He moaned, his other hand finding her jaw and skimming along it before settling against her neck, his fingers catching the edge of the Mirichoker.

And then he pulled away, as if he had touched a burning fire, or been pricked by a sharp needle.

Her chest heaved slightly as she caught her breath. “Ben…” It was a question, a plead, an answer, all in one. She wished he would come back to her so she could continue to taste the sweet wine on his lips.

“No. I can’t. _We_ can’t.” He muttered, his voice troubled and his eyes guilty.

“We can.” Rey insisted softly, stepping forward, but Ben held up his hand.

“You’ve had a lot of wine.” He tried to explain his reasons to her but she just rolled her eyes. “You are clearly confused and upset. It’s been a trying day.” He insisted.

“I want you, Ben Solo.” She words were low and husky with need as she tried to close the space between them again, but he stepped back. “Don’t you want me?” She asked, trying to seduce him, wanting to see if she could break his strong will and admit the tension they felt wasn’t just because of their opposing beliefs. Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was being around Anly as she spoke so bluntly about sex, maybe she was just feeling extra lonely and sad, but Rey wanted Ben tonight. No, she _needed_ him.

“I can’t.” His voice was firmer than she expected it to be. “Not while you are wearing that _thing_.” He spat out the last word, his hand motioning towards the metal loop around her neck. “It wouldn’t be right.”

Rey wanted to laugh. He was such a good boy, not wanting to take advantage of her, but the solution was obvious. “Then take it off.” She said simply. His back was against the communication panel now, so when she pressed forward, her body hovering just in front of his, he had nowhere to retreat to. It was almost amusing, how she, a small woman with no powers, could dominate him, a ridiculously large man with the Force, with a few simple words and heated gazes.

“I can’t, Rey. I…I don’t trust you.” He finally blurted out and she felt like she had been slapped.

Ah, there is was, Rey thought bitterly as she stepped back from him slowly. She had hoped, just for a moment, that he could be right. That she could be turned to the light, that she could be saved, that she deserved to be saved. But if he couldn’t even trust her, couldn’t believe that she could do it… how was she supposed to find the belief in herself to do it?

“Make an excuse for me.” She said, her tone harsh. “I’m going back to the room.” She didn’t wait for a response, fleeing the room and practically running down the hallway until she found the door she was looking for.

Grabbing the pillows and blankets she had thrown on the floor earlier, she carried them to the refresher and shoved them on the tiles in there. Locking the door, she curled up in the soft material on the hard floor and squeezed her eyes shut.

She should have sent the message. Why did she let herself foolishly daydream about a life she knew she couldn’t have? She wasn’t meant to have a loving family or a loving husband like Anly. She was meant to be above those things. She was the Empress.

She didn’t fall asleep. And it wasn’t long before she heard Ben come back to the room, sighing when he noticed the missing bedding and the closed fresher door.

She was the Empress, she told herself again and again. She didn’t need family. She didn’t need anyone. Especially not Ben Solo.

-

Rey woke up to a short rap against the fresher door.

She didn’t remember falling asleep, but she must have finally drifted off hours earlier. After hours of replaying the day in her head over and over ago. She was surprised she wasn’t more tired given how eventful it had been. Meeting new people, her spar with Ben, her lust-filled thoughts as she bathed, learning about the bond, being caught by Ben after trying to sneak a message, kissing him… him rejecting her.

Ben had bought so much drama into her life, she certainly couldn’t complain about being bored when he was around, she thought with vague resentment.

She groaned as she sat up and stretched out her neck, the blankets and pillow had added much to comfort to the tiled floor and now her body was punishing her for it.

“We leave in an hour.” Ben’s voice was muffled slightly through the wall separating them.

“Fine.” She called back, twisting her head to ease the tension that had gathered in her muscles.

Saying goodbye was harder than Rey expected it to be. Afterall, she had only known the girls and their parents for a day, and yet she had grown extremely fond of them. She told Atla and Lori to keep practicing with their self defence training when they said they wanted to be as good as she was.

“One day you will be.” Rey had said, kneeling in front of them. And she was overwhelmed when two pairs of arms wrapped around her waist, the little girls heads resting against her arms as they hugged her tightly. “Oh.” She softly exclaimed in surprise, her own arms instinctively coming round to hold them tight.

Anly and Los also enveloped her in hugs. Anly once again telling her how happy she was to meet her, and Los wishing her the best in her endeavours, his eyes dropping down quickly to look at the metal hanging around her neck, his meaning clear. He was sympathetic to her troubles. Even if he had misunderstood them, she was grateful for his kindness.

Ben ushered them away soon after, promising them he would return soon. Rey didn’t miss the way he had said ‘he’ and not ‘they’.

Of course, Rey told herself, why would she have any reason to visit them after this? Soon she would resume her role as Empress on Exegol and the only time she would return would be to either get their allegiance to the New Empire, which she doubted they would do willingly, or to take over their system by force. The idea left a bitter taste in her mouth.

“Don’t touch that.” Ben snapped as they reached the top of the ramp to enter the Millennium Falcon and Rey passed a few crates that hadn’t been there when they disembarked. Glancing at the writing on the side, it looked as if they were boxes of wine, however Ben’s sudden outburst made her suspicious. He wouldn’t be that abrupt if that’s all they contained. She held up her hands in mock surrender and they entered the cockpit, tension pulsing around them.

Rey watched in silence as Los’ palace got smaller and smaller until she couldn’t make it out in the city. Then she couldn’t make out the city from the land as they entered the atmosphere and headed to the nearest entrance to the Byss Run.

They would be on Prakith within an hour and then everything would change.

It was inevitable.

She pulled her eyes away from the darkness outside, and turned to watch Ben work.

Admiring his profile, his lustrous dark hair, his strong brow, his dark and stormy eyes. She wished things were different. He tensed, and she knew the connection between them had opened, but she didn’t stop. This could be her last chance to show him what she was too scared to admit out loud.

Her gaze slowly followed the line of his nose, going round until she was tracing his mouth with her eyes. She was grateful for the time they had together, although saddened that the visions they shared would never come to pass. Rey just wished she had had one chance… one single night where she could have pretended she was someone else with him. But he didn’t trust her, thinking it was a ploy to trick him. And maybe subconsciously it was, knowing that he would find it harder to send her to her death if they had been intimate. And yet it didn’t feel that way last night when she desperately sort out pleasure and comfort in his arms, and it didn’t feel like that now.

Her breathing was shallow, and she noticed his chest rose and fell in perfect time with hers.

“They won’t hurt you. I won’t let them.” Ben tried to reassure her, his eyes holding hers as they sat together, both afraid to move and break the connection that seemed to make them both relax despite their rocky relationship.

“I know.” She said softly, letting her head rest back against the tattered padding on the chair as she blinked slowly, their eyes never looking away from each other. “I trust you.” She whispered softly, not trying to upset or offend him by reminding him of his words the night before, but instead letting him know that she was okay, truly. She let the bond flow between them for a few seconds more, taking comfort in their connection. It was the calm before the storm, she realised. It was nice. Almost peaceful, she mused contently before finally looking away and cutting the connection in half.

-

With the shields now effectively in place, they used the hyperspeed lane and the three day journey took ten seconds.

They landed at the Resistance base and were waiting for clearance before they disembarked.

“How many people you got on board there, Solo?” A male voice came through the little speaker in the cockpit.

Ben shook his head, but his soft chuckle let Rey know him and the man he was speaking to were friends. “I bought a stray.” He jokingly replied. “Didn’t my mother tell you?”

“Leia isn’t here right now.” The man said. “I’m in charge.”

“Kriff off, Dameron.” Ben scoffed. “Where’s Luke? He knew we were coming.” Rey tensed.

“Luke is with Leia. They’re on-” Ben’s finger held down the speaker button, cutting Dameron off.

“The stray is hostile, so let’s keep this line clean.” Ben quickly said, looking apologetically at her as if he felt bad for not trusting her. It was fair, after all, she had made her plan to kill Luke pretty obvious before.

“You bought a hostile into a Resistance base?” Dameron exclaimed and Ben rolled his eyes and winked at Rey. She scowled, not liking how his confident swagger was returning now he was so close to his comrades.

“Don’t be so dramatic. And trust me, you’re going to want to meet her.”

“I don’t think I can handle this today.” The man muttered, then there was a long pause as something was clearly being discussed on the other end of the line. “We’ll be down in five minutes to escort them to a cell.” There was static for a moment before Dameron continued. “And who will I have the pleasure of meeting, Solo?”

Ben smirked into the little microphone. “You know Palpatine?”

“No, who’s that?” The other man scoffed. “Of course I know who Palpatine is!”

“Good. ‘Cause you’re about to meet his granddaughter.”

The line went dead and Rey rolled her eyes at his over dramatics. A few seconds later, the hanger started to sound an alarm and red lights flashed to signal an emergency.

Rey just quirked an eyebrow. “Way to make an entrance.” She shot at him sarcastically.

“Hush, Empress. You know you’re worth it.” He waltzed past her out of the cockpit and down to corridor to the boarding ramp. Rey followed. This man was walking chaos, she mused to herself, not able to stop the small smile that formed.

When she turned the corner, Ben was waiting for her, the cuffs he had used when he first kidnapped her in his hands. “I’m sorry.” He swallowed thickly as she stepped forward, her wrists held out for him.

“Whatever.” She grumbled, trying her best to look unaffected by it. Ben really did feel ashamed as the metal clicked together, securing her arms in place in front of her waist. Then she saw the piece of red fabric in his back pocket. The same fabric that had covered the choker when they went to Pria, only this time she knew it wasn’t to cover her neck. Tears stung the back of her eyes as she looked up at him. “Ben…” Her coldness gone as she almost whimpered at him. “Please…”

“I’m sorry.” He repeated, his hands running over the material as he straightened it out. The red lights from outside were casting flashes of crimson over his pale face, making him look more menacing than she was used to.

“Please don’t.” She begged. “I will behave, I- I won’t even look up from the floor, just please don’t...” Her voice shook with fear. It would be so demeaning to be shoved off the ship, guided down the ramp blindfolded, paraded around the base with no sense of direction or who was where. She was disorientated enough without the Force, to be completely visually impaired as well, it was beyond distressing for her. “If you have any respect for me at all, you won’t do that to me. Please, Ben.”

His hands dropped to his side, his fist tightening around the thin fabric. Whatever he had seen in her face, or heard in her voice, seemed to work. His eyes dropped to the floor as a look of shame crossed his features.

“Thank you.” She breathed, her shoulders relaxing somewhat despite her wrists still being bound.

“I respect you, Rey.” He said after a pregnant pause. “And for what it worth,” There was a loud whirring of machinery as the ramp started to descend. “I wish things were different too.” Her breath caught in her throat at his words. Words that confirmed he had seen into her mind earlier like she had thought.

He came to stand at her side, a large hand wrapping lightly around her upper arm as they slowly made their way down the ramp to greet the tens of Resistance fighters pointing their guns at her.

“What a warm welcome.” She commented dryly as they reached the only two people without weapons pointed at her. A dark haired man, who she assumed was Dameron, and a short woman with blonde hair in two little buns on the top of her head.

“I hope this is befitting for an Empress.” Dameron shot back, holding out his hand before Rey held up her own cuffed ones and waved them to show she wasn’t really in the right position to be shaking hands. He cleared his throat, clearly a little uncomfortable with her being there. “I’m Poe. Commander Poe Dameron. And this is Lieutenant Kaydel Connix.” The blonde gave her a simple nod of the head before looking at Ben.

“I’m glad to see the Mirichoker works, Ben, but isn’t it procedure to also blindfold prisoners?” She questioned.

Rey tensed and Ben ran a hand through his hair. “Not today. She… Not today, alright?” He said ambiguously and the shorter woman just nodded before turning.

“Follow me.” The four of them walked along the corridors, and Rey couldn’t help but noticed the way people were stopping and looking at her. Their eyes full of curiosity or contempt, or worse, anger. It was the angry ones Rey was worried about. They were the ones likely to do something rash.

They paused at an elevator shaft, and while they waited for it, a group of pilots walked past. Their feet stumbling as they noticed her.

“Sithspit.” One muttered under his breath as they walked past, low enough so one her and Ben who was still guiding her, could hear. Another’s face twisted as if she were some murderous criminal. Which she supposed to them, that is what she represented. Maybe the blindfold wouldn’t have been such a bad idea, she thought as she looked down at her feet. These people hated her. Her chin wobbled as she stepped into the elevator and while everyone else turned, she stood to face the back wall, finding her shoes suddenly very interesting as hot pin pricks poked behind her eyes. She felt degraded. She had never felt so ashamed and humiliated in her whole life. It wasn’t their fault, they weren’t exactly being mean to her. She was just so far away from what she knew, that her confidence had vanished, leaving her feeling like an empty shell, vulnerable and easily crushed.

She closed her eyes in an effort to suppress the tears, sniffing as quietly as she could and glad no one could see her for the few brief moment the lift would take, but they flew open when she felt fingertips brush over the back of her hand. She followed the arm to find Ben staring straight ahead, as if she wasn’t even there, and that’s when she felt it.

A warmth spread over her hand, creeping up her arm until it reached her chest, then it pulsed through her entire body, it was as if she had stepped out into direct sunlight and the heat seeped directly into every pore.

She wanted to gasp, to clutch at his hand for more, but he pulled away too quickly. He had just shared some of his Force with her. And it was amazing. There was a lightness in her bones, a clarity to her mind, a strength she didn’t have moments before. It was enough to let her hold her head high as Poe marched her along another corridor, opening several doors until they were deep within the base. Then they stopped.

A new door slid open to reveal a modest bed, and another door she hoped the fresher was behind. Her new home. She thought bitterly as she went inside. She turned to look at the Commander and his colleagues to discuss what was going to happen next, but all she saw was Ben’s confused look as the door slid closed. His mouth open to say something but the heavy metal shut him and the words from her.

“Alone again.” She said as she let out a shaky breath and stood there in silence, staring at the door until her eyes hurt.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Byss Run](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Byss_Run) \- A smaller hyperspace route that connects the planets in the Deep Core.
> 
> [ Prakith](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Prakith/Legends) \- A rocky planet that’s surface is impossible to live on, but home to a Resistance base deep within it’s mountains. 
> 
> [Cuffs](https://i.imgur.com/Bp3XMQR.jpg) \- The same used on Rey in The Last Jedi.
> 
> Mirichoker – Inspired by the [ Miriskin](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Miriskin), this is a metal collar that has the ability to dampen the Force of the wearer. Built utilizing the [ Ysalamiri ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ysalamir), who have this ability. I think it looks a little [ like this](https://i.imgur.com/tR41QXM.jpg).
> 
> Sithspit – In Star Wars lore, it’s a curse word like f**k or s**t, but it isn’t confirmed, so I’m taking it to be an insult like son of a b***h or maybe even as bad as c**t…
> 
> \-----
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please feel free to leave a review, I love reading them and promise I will get back to you :-) 
> 
> And find me on twitter [here](https://il.ink/LadyReylo)!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Rey was really good at entertaining herself.

She had spent years alone on Jakku, with only the sand and sun for company. Finding small activities or skills to keep her busy and distract herself had been vital otherwise the loneliness would have devoured her. Weather that was spending time cleaning the scraps she found for the next day, hoping to make them sparkle and thus be more appealing to Plutt so he would round up a portion instead of round down. Or taking apart machines to discover how they work, or to locate the exact piece she needed to help build the speeder she was working on. Or the late nights she would spend making up stories for the stray belongings she found on the wreckages. The rebel helmet had been the most interesting. It was where she had taken her name from when she didn’t have one, Rᴂh printed in proud bold letters on the side. She had spent many hours wearing that helmet and trying to imagine the life they lived, where they were from, did they have brothers or sisters, what was their favourite food…

Then at the Citadel such follies were taken away and she was busy with other activities that kept the loneliness at bay. Texts and texts of history and politics to read, private lessons on the Sith, and hours of daily psychical and mental training. Only at night time when she laid in bed, staring at the dark ceiling, lightening cracking in the distance, a heavy blanket to keep out the chill the rocky planet always had, did she have time to stop and notice the emptiness.

She had just wanted someone to talk to. She supposed that’s why when Mahen had given her an inch of friendship, she had taken as much as she could. Pushing the boundaries until it went too far and…

Rey shook her head, pulling herself out of that line of thought before she regretted it. Instead of dwelling on the past, she tried to focus on what was in front of her.

The cell they kept her in was small. The length just big enough to keep a bed snugly against one wall. Then a small strip of floor which housed a chair, then the door to the fresher and the door to the hallway. If her hands weren’t cuffed together, she bet she could stand in the middle and touch both walls.

So instead of aimlessly pacing the two steps of floor space, she slowly turned, taking in every details she could.

The bed was mattress on a metal box, no sheets to rip up or loose bolts she could remove and take advantage of. The chair was also metal and sturdy. She wouldn’t be able to break it and use a leg as a weapon, and there wasn’t enough space in the small cell for her to get good leverage to swing it down on someone if they entered, she deliberated. Maybe she could kick it into someone shins and piss them off… But it did give away that interrogations would take place here and not somewhere else, which could have given her the chance to sneak off or steal a weapon during transit. Rey blew out a long exhale. Her chances of escape were getting slimmer and slimmer.

At least the fresher was clean, she thought to herself with relief. It was small, smaller than the one on the Millennium Falcon, and it just had a sink with no plug and a toilet. No shower, no mirror, not even a bar of soap. Well, her arrival had been unexpected, she shouldn’t have expected them to lay down flowers or bake a cake just for her, she smirked to herself.

Without the Force she didn’t have any sense of time, so she wasn’t sure how much had passed when the door beeped and clicked open. She steeled her back, grateful she had not relaxed and sat down so she could be ready when her interrogator arrived.

Commander Dameron slipped in the room, not letting the door open any further than for his body and the tray he was holding to pass by before shutting it firmly. So there were people outside, Rey noted. She wondered if Ben was there.

“Empress Kira.” The man said, his back to the exit, obviously a bit awkward that she was stood in the centre of the room and didn’t move to accommodate him. “Or should I call you something else? What did Ben use, Kay? Fay?”

Her eyes glanced down at his hands, taking in the tray with food and water on, and a small opaque bag, before locking eyes again.

He was a handsome man, she supposed. Tan skin that reminded her of the humans that lived their whole lives on Jakku, caf coloured eyes that held authority and yet she knew the wrinkles around them were from laughter, given his banter with Ben when they had first landed. His dark brown hair was slightly peppered with white hairs that let her know he was older than Ben, and he held an air of annoyance to him. Like he already had too much on his plate and this was just another bother, and not the granddaughter of the Resistance’s worst enemy.

“Rey.” She corrected, rolling her eyes as she continued. “And go ahead, it’s not like I can stop Ben from doing it anyway.”

“I’m Poe.” He introduced himself again, turning to lower the tray onto the end of the bed nearest him, making Rey flinch slightly when he unavoidably got closer to her as he bent down.

“I know.” She replied, the side of her mouth quirking up. He wasn’t very good at this, was he? He was too friendly, and he was a little bit shorter than her, not very intimidating at all, she summed up. She was surprised, her grandfather had told her of the Resistances interrogation techniques, including strapping victims to metal beds, starving, beating, cutting them until words spilled from their lips. Or worse, when their Jedi puppets go involved, tearing minds open and taking whatever they wanted with no regard for the shreds of sanity they left the person with afterwards. Poe Dameron and this little room held none of the fears she had come to expect. Perhaps her grandfather was wrong. Or perhaps this was just a way to lull her into a false sense of security before the real questioning began. Either way, she wasn’t going to give them anything they wanted.

“I bought you dinner. You must be starving.”

“I’m not hungry.” She had gone days without eating, she could do it again.

Poe leaned down again and picked up the small fabric bag, holding it out for her. Rey just looked down at her hands as explanation for why she wouldn’t take it.

“It’s just a toothbrush, and a washcloth, I think.” He tossed it on the bed and began to reach behind her, his hand wrapping around the back of the chair and pulling it past her obnoxiously, the legs scrapping against the floor as he did so. “Excuse me.” His shoulder bumped hers before sitting down directly in front of her. Rolling her eyes at his childish behaviour, she finally sat down on the bed, her feet still planted firmly on the floor.

“Is there anything I can get you? Some more clothes, something to read?” Poe offered, his hand gesturing around as if he was talking to a guest and not a prisoner.

“Some art would be nice. A landscape perhaps.” She said dryly. “It would really brighten the cell up, don’t you think?”

Poe knew what she was getting to and got straight to the point, ignoring her sarcastic comment. “The cell is for everybody’s safety, including your own. We have a lot of sensitive, classified information here…” He lets his voice trail off.

“And a lot of people who would like to see me dead.” She finished for him.

Poe leaned back in his chair, his hand rubbing slightly stubbled jaw as he let out a breathy chuckle. “I can’t deny that some people aren’t very happy about you being here. They’ve lost a lot because of Palpatine.” He explained, as if it justified their feelings. Rey’s mouth twisted into a sneer but didn’t say anything. “But I trust Ben. And if he says you aren’t bad, then I believe him.”

“Ben is a gullible fool whose blind faith will get him killed.” She looked down at the plate, acting nonchalant, as she looked to see what they had given her. A bread roll with some kind of meat and greenery, it could easily be eaten using just her hands so no cutlery was provided. While it looked fresh, it certainly wasn’t as extravagant as the food on Cambria and Exegol she was used to, but it was a vast improvement on the rations her and Ben had on the Falcon.

“He takes risks.” Poe shrugged. “They usually pay off.” He sounded almost impressed as he spoke of his colleague.

“And what about this risk? You think it will pay off?” She asked honestly, wanting to see what he made of this situation. If he thought Ben was crazy for kidnapping her and thinking there was a chance to save her soul and convert her to the Light.

“I think…” He paused, his mouth forming a tight line as he thought over what he was about to say. “I think a war is brewing, and… I think you have the power to stop it.” He took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, his hands slapping his thighs before standing up. “What are you, twenty standard cycles old?”

“Eighteen.” She replied quietly, contemplating his previous words. Did they really think she held that much influence on the Emperor? They were deeply mistaken if they thought she could change his mind. They didn’t know him like she did.

“Kriff, you’re young.” He sounded almost hurt by her age.

“And how old are you? _Fifty_?” She knew she was being defensive and rude, but her age was a sore subject. She hated being judged for it, never feeling as young as people claimed she was. A tough life on Jakku would make any kid grow up quickly.

“Ouch. I’m thirty six, thank you very much.” Rey just shrugged, not caring as he puffed out his chest slightly. “It doesn’t matter, my point still stands. You’ve got your whole future ahead of you. You should really sit down and think about what you want that to look like.”

“I’m really busy right now.” Rey said, her voice dripping with fake regret as she looked around the empty cell as if to prove her point. “But thanks for the advice, old man.”

Poe just sighed before he stepped towards to door, knocking on it to signal someone on the other side to open it for him. “I can see why Ben likes you.” Rey couldn’t stop herself from looking up at his, her lips parting slightly before she stopped herself from speaking. “You’re both as stubborn as each other.” Rey fought the urge to stick her tongue out at the back of his head, but he had already shut the door, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

Despite herself, Poe’s words kept popping back into her head. What did she want her future to be? She thought she knew. To be Empress to the Final Order, create the New Empire and rule over the galaxy as the most powerful Sith she could be. But now, with the echo of the visions the Force had given her, her idea of the future was littered with the traitorous images. The memory of a possibility that went against everything she thought she wanted… The familiar feeling of Ben’s love that she had not experienced yet. It was infuriating.

Looking down at the food on the tray, Rey carefully lifted it off the bed and put it on the floor. She wasn’t going to eat their food. She may not have control over much in her life right now, but she could control that. She had gone days without eating before, she reminded herself once more, she could easily do it again.

-

It was the middle of the night when Ben appeared in her cell.

The door didn’t open, he didn’t walk in, he simply appeared next to the chair Poe had left facing the bed earlier.

“Rey?” He sounded confused, worried, almost frantic when he saw her sitting on the edge of the bed, her legs crossed. “How- Why- How did you get out?”

Rey tilted her head and looked around the dim room before peering up at him. “I’m still in my cell.” She told him slowly. “How did you get in?”

“No. You’re in my room.” Ben corrected her then froze. Despite her not being able to feel it, she could see him engaging with the Force to figure out what was happening. She envied him, wishing she had access to the grounding and comforting presence it provided. “The bond.” He whispered, and if they weren’t alone in a tiny quiet room, Rey wouldn’t have heard it.

“The bond is connecting us?” She asked and he opened his eyes to look down at her.

“It seems that way.” He looked around the room, his eyes focusing on things beyond the four walls. “Can you see my surroundings? I can’t see yours.” He sounded far too curious for her liking, but just as quickly, his whole gaze zoned in on her and she shifted on the bed. “Just you.” He said softly.

“Just you too.” She answered.

“This is something else…” He muttered, fascinated. He reached out as if to touch her and she flinched, moving back on the mattress until her back hit the wall. He seemed to realise his mistake, his hand falling to his side, his hands clenching into tight fists. “Are you on the bed in your cell as well?” She nodded, trying not to blush at the fact he had just admitted that, to him, it looked like she was sitting on his bed. In his bedroom. In the middle of the night.

“How old are you?” She blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.

“I’m sorry?” Her question had thrown him.

“How old are you?” She repeated a little louder.

“Thirty one.” He said slowly, his tongue moving around his mouth as if he was unused to telling people. “Why?”

“Poe is thirty six.” She said lamely, as if that answered his question.

“He is.” The corner of his mouth quirked up and Rey hated how stupid she felt. “Why do you want to know how old I am, Rey?” He inched closer until the tips of his toes were a millimetre from touching the edge of the bed. Her neck was straining as she looked up at him. “What made you so curious?”

“You’re thirteen years older than me.” She pushed herself off of the bed, scrambling to the further corner from him, although it only put an arm length away from him.

“Why does that matter, Rey?” He turned to follow her. “What are you thinking?”

“It would be perverted.” She wished the cuffs weren’t there so she could cross her arms. Or do something with her hands rather than just let them hang heavy in front of her. “You and me.” She wasn’t sure why she was speaking so openly to him, but her brain had been so wrapped up in her future, it was all she could think about. “When you were my age, I had just been found by Palpatine.”

His mouth parted as his eyes went a little wide in what she hoped was horror and nothing else. “What did Poe say to you?” He asked carefully, a dark eyebrow arching.

“He didn’t- This isn’t about that. This is about the Force being wrong, feeding us lies.” She didn’t know when she had suddenly decided that Ben hadn’t planted a fake vision in her head, but it was probably around the same time she had seen him interact with Atla and Lori. He was a good man. And she would destroy him with her darkness.

“Ah. The vision.” It clicked in his head why she was panicked all of a sudden. “Sit down, Rey.”

She shook her head once but doesn’t look away from him. “No.” She was being stubborn, but apparently that was what she was good at, she scoffed inwardly.

“Fine. Be like that.” He said flatly, a little bit of frustration in his voice. His eyes narrowed with resolve. “I don’t know why the Force showed us that, and I don’t know what you felt, but I know those visions are my future, our future.” His mouth softened as he forced himself to stop and breathe. “And while that’s kriffing terrifying, to know what our destiny is, I’m not going to apologise, or pretend it didn’t happen, because what we saw - what I felt – I want that to be our future. I want to be with you, Rey.” Her words caught in her throat as she looked at him, his gaze dark and deep even in the low light. The intensity shocked her. As if realising how far he had pushed, he amended his words. “The Rey I saw.”

“That isn’t me.” She whispered, feeling small, feeling her actual age for once in her life.

“You’re wrong, no matter how much you try to fight it, there is good in you, Rey. I know you can feel it. Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.” His gaze holds hers for a second too long the he looks away as a subtle change takes over him. His jaw unclenches as a lightness enters him, as if he found the situation funny all of a sudden. He stepped towards her with a swagger she didn’t think a single man could possess. Tilting his head down, so he took up all of her field of vision and all she could do was look up at him. “And for the record, my parents were thirteen years apart.” He commented, a gleam in his eye and a cocky smirk in place before vanishing. Leaving her alone with that image transfixed in her mind.

“Bastard.” She swore under her breath when she recovered.

She sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the spot he had just been in. This bond was getting stronger and stronger if they were able to connect without being close to each other now. The other times they had been in the same room, and it had only been snippets of memories, thoughts, stray feelings. To physically appear… it was unimaginable, and yet it had happened.

Hating herself for thinking it, she wondered what Luke Skywalker would say about it when he returned. Ben had urgently wanted to speak to him after the vision, and then again after they had connected during the sparring session on Cambria, now with these new developments, Rey imagined Ben was more eager than ever to speak to his uncle.

The Jedi Master, Rey used his title with disdain.

Looking down at her untouched food, it was surprising how different the Resistance were than what she was expecting. There was no torture, no tricks, no cruelty. Their Commander, Poe Dameron, had been almost friendly with her. Perhaps the intel her grandfather had was wrong. Perhaps he had been wrong about everything…

She gasped. The last few days had been emotionally overwhelming, and without the Force to ground her, she was getting confused. These conflicted thoughts weren’t right. They were bad. Her grandfather would be angry at her. She panicked, looking around the room as if he might had suddenly appeared like Ben had, ready to berate and punish her.

But he wasn’t there. She was alone.

The need to be chastised for her mistake was overwhelming. If her grandfather wasn’t there to dish out the punishment she deserved, then she would have to do it herself. Lifting her bound arms, her teeth wrapped around the material covering her forearm. Taking a few deep breaths to prepare herself, she bit down hard and screamed, the sound muffled.

She focused on the pain until she couldn’t think of anything else but it. The searing agony shooting up her arm replacing the guilt she felt at her disloyal thoughts. The Emperor wasn’t wrong. The Emperor was never wrong.

Her back collapsed onto the mattress a little while later, her mouth dry but her eyes wet. Her arm still stinging but her body and mind finding a temporary relief from the pain.

The Emperor was never wrong, she reminded herself. Long live the New Empire, and even in her own head, it was hard to convince herself that she really believed that anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Rᴂh Helmet](https://external-preview.redd.it/GPZsOtJVtrZ1CC-Q38NhNaSjf1G81gieOov4u_yfanQ.jpg?auto=webp&s=9618aaa4a55fe9085a36ccfc3a89f15eaee62a69) \- The one we see her wearing in TFA, it has Rᴂh written on the side, which is pronounced Rey. I’m assuming this is where Rey named herself from. You can read a bit about it’s history from the book in the link. 
> 
> Caf – Star Wars version of coffee.
> 
> \-----
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this update and seeing a bit more Poe and.... the bond connecting Rey and Ben!!!!
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment, I really do love reading them and each one gives me so much joy, I can't explain how much they mean to me! 
> 
> And find me on twitter [here](https://il.ink/LadyReylo)!


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